Hello, this is just a quick update on my prior post. I'm also re-posting it in case there are others going through something similar.

http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,1270070

First of all, thank you all for your advice. That was my very first post, and you were all a big support.

My daughter was born in June (everyone is happy and healthy). Almost immediately, my family started asking me when the baby blessing was going to be. My wife and I bought time by telling them that we were "still figuring everything out."

After a month, my parents were starting to pressure us for a solid date for the blessing. (They wanted to purchase airplane tickets). I realized that my only option was to "man-up" and have a frank discussion with my dad ("the truth will set you free" kind of thing).

I called my dad and started having a normal conversation for about 15 minutes or so (talking about work, sports, family, etc.). Then he asked me again about the baby blessing. I told him flat our: "Actually I wanted to talk to you about that. We will be having a baby blessing, but I will not be the one performing it. It's not because of transgression. The reason is that I no longer believe in the church."

My dad handled it pretty well. He had to digest it for a second, though. I told him about some of my main concerns (Book of Abraham, Polyandry). My dad had never heard any of those issues before either. I told my dad that he had my permission to tell my mom and immediate family members, but I didn't want to be a topic of discussion/family gossip. I also told him that I was afraid of being shunned by the family. Thankfully, my dad put my mind at ease and told me that would never happen.

My daughter was "blessed" last month in my in-laws' ward. My wife flew out with our daughter. My father in law performed the blessing, and my entire family attended. I told my dad that I didn't want to be hypocrite, and would not participate. I didn't want to be there for several reasons. 1) I didn't want to communicate that I somehow sanctioned my daughter's induction into the cult. 2) I didn't want the church to use my daughter as a prop to shame me for not performing the blessing. 3) If I was there, but not standing in the circle, it would have been easier for people to assume (and the church to imply) that I was a dirty transgressor. (That part riles me up the most!)

I received several text messages from two of my siblings on the day of the blessing telling me that they loved and even respected me. That was nice.

So, here I am now. I am "out of the closet," and I couldn't be happier. I'm lucky that I have a good family (but I'm not going to lie, there are still some adjustments to make). I am so glad that I "got off the hamster wheel."

I can't imagine it going any better! Congratulations on your courage and a good outcome.

Instead of showing up to their religious event as the odd man out.

I'm glad that it turned out relatively well. It is probably a good thing that you both live far away from family members.

Sorry for the extra strife you suffered because of seeing through the sham of Mormonism.

Wow, what an amazing family!! I'm so glad they responded so well to you. I hope it continues and that maybe some will listen and investigate the truth too. :)

I hope your family continues to be sane and loving. DH and I have made peace with his family and Sunday dinners are usually calm. I am very fortunate to belong to one of the families that could adjust to Ex-Mormons and hope you have a similar experience.

Nine years ago my youngest child was born. By then both my husband and I had left the church. We had been out about a year. My husband realized that there would be pressure to bless our baby. We had not told his family anything about our current church status -- or lack thereof. My husband decided to tell his family before our baby was born.

He sent his entire family an email informing them of his changed church views. He received responses from almost all his siblings saying they still loved him and it would not make a difference in their relationship with him and our family. There was no pressure to bless our baby. However, a year later, everything changed.

His sister disinvited our family to her oldest child's baptism. His parents supported her decision. They behaved as if our family deserved to be excluded for our apostacy. A couple months later our family was excluded from the annual Thanksgiving dinner -- something we had attended for 10 years. We were then not invited to participate in their annual Christmas gathering.

So much for being considered a member of the family. So much for being loved. Ever since this experience, I do not trust any Mormons.

My children have been growing up without one side of the family ever since them. Prior to that we had visited my inlaws every week. My inlaws are lucky if they get to see my children three or four times a year. We live 3 miles apart.

Sateda Wrote:
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> He received responses from almost all his siblings
> saying they still loved him . . .

These are subtle passive-aggressive replies. Saying "we still
love you" implies there is a reason for NOT loving you. The
"still" is code for "in spite of what you've done."

The fact that they bring up loving you at all is actually
interesting. If I call up family and say, "I'm changing jobs
and will be moving to Oregon," would it be a cue for them to
say, "we still love you"? Why would them not loving me over a
job change and move even come up?

I could imagine being arrested for some heinous crime and then
family saying, "we want you to know we still love you," That
would make sense.

They are subtly saying that you've done something that is in
the class of a heinous crime.

And, of course, their follow-up behavior shows that they didn't
"still love" you.

Congrats! It does feel good to be authentic. There will be more bumps down the road, but you're off to a great start. And I'm glad that your family supports you.

Thanks for the update, MagicRocks.

And congratulations on your daughter's birth!

Such GOOD news, a family that loves their son/borther enough to respect his beleifs! I am really happy it all turned out so well for you. Ih ope you and your little family will be very happy!!! Congratulations on your little girl!!