Posted by:
magicrocks
(
)
Date: October 12, 2014 10:48AM
Hello, this is just a quick update on my prior post. I'm also re-posting it in case there are others going through something similar.
http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,1270070First of all, thank you all for your advice. That was my very first post, and you were all a big support.
My daughter was born in June (everyone is happy and healthy). Almost immediately, my family started asking me when the baby blessing was going to be. My wife and I bought time by telling them that we were "still figuring everything out."
After a month, my parents were starting to pressure us for a solid date for the blessing. (They wanted to purchase airplane tickets). I realized that my only option was to "man-up" and have a frank discussion with my dad ("the truth will set you free" kind of thing).
I called my dad and started having a normal conversation for about 15 minutes or so (talking about work, sports, family, etc.). Then he asked me again about the baby blessing. I told him flat our: "Actually I wanted to talk to you about that. We will be having a baby blessing, but I will not be the one performing it. It's not because of transgression. The reason is that I no longer believe in the church."
My dad handled it pretty well. He had to digest it for a second, though. I told him about some of my main concerns (Book of Abraham, Polyandry). My dad had never heard any of those issues before either. I told my dad that he had my permission to tell my mom and immediate family members, but I didn't want to be a topic of discussion/family gossip. I also told him that I was afraid of being shunned by the family. Thankfully, my dad put my mind at ease and told me that would never happen.
My daughter was "blessed" last month in my in-laws' ward. My wife flew out with our daughter. My father in law performed the blessing, and my entire family attended. I told my dad that I didn't want to be hypocrite, and would not participate. I didn't want to be there for several reasons. 1) I didn't want to communicate that I somehow sanctioned my daughter's induction into the cult. 2) I didn't want the church to use my daughter as a prop to shame me for not performing the blessing. 3) If I was there, but not standing in the circle, it would have been easier for people to assume (and the church to imply) that I was a dirty transgressor. (That part riles me up the most!)
I received several text messages from two of my siblings on the day of the blessing telling me that they loved and even respected me. That was nice.
So, here I am now. I am "out of the closet," and I couldn't be happier. I'm lucky that I have a good family (but I'm not going to lie, there are still some adjustments to make). I am so glad that I "got off the hamster wheel."