The class I am taking is studying the idea of space/spaciousness etc. There was a lot of reading to do before the class. During the reading etc., I was just a bit uncomfortable (without knowing why) just an odd feeling.
During the class last night it hit me why I was feeling this way. The concept of outer darkness came to my mind and I remembered a terrible dream I had when I was 10 years old about being in outer darkness, about floating in space. It was like being confined to my room but not confined, just floating forever in pitch black, nobody to talk to, nothing. That concept of space was scary to my 10 year old mind. It is scary to my mind today! Thanks TSCC. By this point in time, I had stolen a hoppy taw and some candy and I was 10 (so 2 years into my awful sinning self). I could end up in outer darkness.

Last night, this was an epiphany for me because I had not remembered this dream until now. Now with maturity behind me and the dream long behind me, I was able to see that that dream was the first large crack in my shelf. My shelf wasn't real strong to start with. So, I started picking at things in TSCC from that point on, (albeit at least partially subconsciously) looking for the truth. I never got the burning bosom thing, but unlike many of you (unfortunately for you), I blamed my lack of burning bosom on TSCC not on myself. I read the BoM twice and nothing burned so it was their fault. In my mind, the book was faulty.

[side trip by way of explanation-(I think part of my thinking as a child came from lots of attendance at concerts with famous soloists (at the tabernacle). I saw Isacc Stern etc. Anyway, if something went wrong with the solo being played (happened occasionally), everyone knew that the soloist made a mistake (humans do that- no biggy). The point is, I didn't blame my ears for hearing the mistake. I knew it was a mistake by the soloist. In many ways, it was comforting to know that these soloists could make a mistake too since I was a young music student from age 5. I realized that the ceiling won't cave in it I make a mistake.) end of side trip]

I haven't thought of some of these thing for years. I was completely out by two weeks after my 15th birthday so my breaking shelf took 5 years.

So last night in the class, we had a discussion following the first portion of the class. I told the class that the idea of Hell in TSCC was outer darkness/floating in space for eternity. A few people just looked at me like I was kidding but they knew I wasn't. Another women who studied religion in college said that it was completely nuts, but true and mentioned Kolob etc. Another man mentioned that when he went out with a TBM girl, her father (the bishop) tried to convert him but as soon as he heard about all of the things you have to do to get into heaven, he was sick. When he told the girl's father about grace, he got into an argument with the bishop/dad.

A few people in the class were really sickened by the idea of outer darkness. In our class, space and spaciousness are positive things.
Anyway, my overall point (sorry for taking so long) is that people are talking about the insane things in this cult and they talk to others who talk to others etc. TSCC is GOING DOWN.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/21/2014 06:28PM by verilyverily.