Ijust need some help to think rationally. I am so upset and lost. I got sick and had some surgeries about six months ago. I wrote a letter to the bishop and explained my illness and my extreme social anxiety. I have had my daughter go down for a few months and get some help (JUST utilities and a few food orders). I have scraped money for rent, etc. from child support. I had a good job, but got let go to due to my illness. I am single and scared and my anxiety has gone through the roof with all this.

Being home, I have realized that I feel calmer and the time it takes to get ready aggravates my illness. I have sat here for six months trying to get better (emotionally and physically). Not ONE person has checked on me or made sure I was o.k. It has made me more panic stricken and depressed (as I realize no one cares in this ward). I realize I have only lived here a year and a half, but that is ample time to get to know me). There was even a sign up sheet to bring me meals when I had surgery and two out of the four times, I didn't get the meal that was supposed to be brought.

I am not asking for a handout, but I TRULY am out out of money. My daughter kindly went down to ask today for some help (mind you, it has only been utilities and some food). He then stated that if I ever need help again,I need to come personally and I have to attend church. I am torn because I have extreme panic attacks and have sunk really low this year (especially if wondering if the church is true or not). The fear of not being able to keep a roof over my head is making me ill. I have documented proof from doctors (and obviously medicines I am trying out), that I am ill.

So, he tells her he hasn't noticed me therein a long time. She has told him, if she goes, it is sitting on the couch due to her anxiety or the back row. He said, 'yeah, I don't always see those areas'. Sooo, yeah.

Basically to make a long story, longer..:P, I am scared. I don't know if any of you have suffered anxiety, but when you are forced to do something, it becomes worse. I feel like I am in a nightmare. I have gone to church since birth, I have paid tithing and fast offerings for years. Yes, I have gotten some help this year, but nowhere near what I have put into it. Being on here and noticing all the money that goes into temples. lawyers, land, buildings, etc. has made me want to vomit today.

What do I do until I get better? How do I stop the anxiety and get back to work when the medicines aren't working? How can I go to church when it severely depresses me to sit alone and feel like the anxiety ridden single mother outcast? I know deep down I am strong and brave, but my anxiety has hit an all time high in my life. I am so scared that he will not help me next time, and that I will lose everything. I am in the heart of Utah also, where there should be plenty of money, no? Maybe not. I am scared and now I am having a panic attack worrying about next month. I know there is nothing I can do right now, but my anxiety won't shut up.

Please help with comfort or wisdom. I am so scared. I want to be known for being a good person and striving to get out of this illness. I didn't know until now there is a payoff to go to church in order to get help. I do watch spiritual things and want to be involved in life, but right now,I simply can't get my mind to do anything.

Help.

Have you applied for social security, unemployment, food stamps etc?

There are also non LDS agencies that may help.

Oh, hon. I have a mental illness and it severely depresses me to go to the church and sit alone. I can't imagine having to do it.

I don't have words of wisdom about one of your issues because I've never asked bishop's assistance. Someone more knowledgeable than me about that stuff should come along soon. I definitely DON'T agree with him saying you need to come to church.

Have you tried all the meds? Have you tried things like breathing exercises and mindfulness? I know that for me it has taken a long time to find the combinations that actually do work.

You *are* strong and brave, you just need to find that within you. I know that sounds so trite and unhelpful but you are able and you can do this. All of it. I wish that for you so much.

Sending you hugs from across the ocean. Also, what Heartless said above is good, practical advice.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/16/2014 08:33PM by safetynotguaranteed.

Is there any financial assistance to be had from the utility companies given your situation? How about food from a local food bank, or another local charity. You may not have to get help from the LDS church at all.

It sounds like you will need to work through your issues with a professional. Online forums are not the best place to seek help.

Could you get a letter from your doctor describing your situation that you could give to the bishop which states your anxiety prevents you from journeying out and explaining that you need help? Is there is a help line for your area (in my area it is 211) where you can call and tell them what you need and get referrals for different services? I have anxiety from time to time and know for me I sometimes feel so overwhelmed it is hard to even sort out what my plan of action should be. But there have to be things you can do. If the bishop won't help you try other agencies. Many churches have food banks. If there is a St. Vincent de Paul in your area they will often help with food and household expenses. If someone says no, then ask if they know who else might be able to help.

.....I would forget about getting help from the LDS church. Tomorrow morning, you should get on the phone (if you have one), and start calling charity agencies, churches, food banks, and anywhere else you think you might get some help from. Being in Utah, I would think that non-Mormon churches would be glad to help out a Mormon who can't get help from the LDS church. There are food banks in every community. If you can get some free food to tide you over, you can use your food money for other needs.

You have to get on the phone and ask around. You can't get any help by posting anonymously on the internet.

I agree about contacting the community food bank. Where I live the food bank uses churches, schools, and other organizations as distribution points. Some have regular distribution days and others are every now and then. I would hit all of them if I were you.

I also like Heartless's suggestions. Plus contact Catholic Charities, if they can't help you they might know of other organizations which can.

I wasn't expecting help from the internet. I was venting and getting ideas. I wish people would not assume, and realize sometimes you just gotta scream. I am fairly new to realizing I threw ALL my money away all these years to a corporation that won't help in my greatest need.

I realize I was pleading (I'm a drama queen when stressed)...;), but my main goal was to get ideas of other outlets (which I did), and to just vent about the whole injustice of them taking my money my whole life, but now put stipulations on giving some back when ill. I didn't expect for a magic fairy to poof all the answers on the internet. It has nothing to do with hiding and being anonymous. Just sometimes, people just need a place. If you are here, you should have an idea of that. :)

Thanks a bunch.

I meant the above answer to Randy. :)

...but my point was that venting here on RFM won't put food on your table or pay your bills. It was you who wrote:

"I am not asking for a handout, but I TRULY am out out of money."

We can only respond to what you have written. The advice I gave you was intended to get you food and help as quickly as possible. There are plenty of charities who could help you. You just have to let them know you exist and need help.

Well, I obviously meant it tongue in cheek. I am smart enough to know venting won't put food on the table. So yeah, thanks I guess? :) I am grateful for the suggestions, and will keep asking online, since that is where people ask and vent. I guess I should have left that line out, but I was trying to make the connection that I am in a low place, and the church (who probably has over $10,000 of mine) would put stipulations on help.

Well, I obviously meant it tongue in cheek. I am smart enough to know venting won't put food on the table. So yeah, thanks I guess? :) I am grateful for the suggestions, and will keep asking online, since that is where people ask and vent. I guess I should have left that line out, but I was trying to make the connection that I am in a low place, and the church (who probably has over $10,000 of mine) would put stipulations on help.

Well, I obviously meant it tongue in cheek. I am smart enough to know writing it online won't put food on my table.

I guess I should have left that line out, but I was trying to make the connection that I am in a low place, and the church (who probably has over $10,000 of mine) would put stipulations on help.

Thank you for the input.

Well, I obviously meant it tongue in cheek. I am smart enough to know writing it online won't put food on my table.

I guess I should have left that line out, but I was trying to make the connection that I am in a low place, and the church (who probably has over $10,000 of mine) would put stipulations on help.

Thank you for the input.

"I was trying to make the connection that I am in a low place, and the church (who probably has over $10,000 of mine) would put stipulations on help."

Forget about the LDS church and the $10k. The best thing you can do for yourself is to rid your mind of the idea of getting any help from the LDS church. That will help you in your overall effort to de-program yourself from Mormon brainwashing.

99% of Americans are not Mormon. So seek some help from them.
Since you are in Utah, there may very well be readers on this BB who are near you and can help you seek out some services. You just have to ask.

Please keep us updated on your situation.

I think it's horrible that the Mormon church is imposing conditions on you, especially with your anxiety. I feel for you because a close family member suffered from anxiety, and I know it can be debilitating.

The reason that I am so enthusiastic about food banks is because they give food to all who come without asking questions or imposing conditions. If a church is distributing the food, the church doesn't care whether or not you are a member or tithe payer. You show up, you get food! My school runs an every-now-and-then food bank, mostly before holidays and vacations when it can be hard for parents to provide for their children. We get fresh, frozen, canned and boxed goods -- quite a variety. One of the Methodist churches in my community has a once a week food bank.

So get the list of distribution points from the food bank. Call around to see about food distribution days, and show up early. Ask if you need to bring bags or boxes -- some distribution points need you to bring them, some don't.

Also, if you haven't already -- apply for Medicaid. Medicaid is for the unemployed. Perhaps a physician can help you with your anxiety.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/17/2014 05:43AM by summer.

Forget TSCC completely. They are only going to make it worse. They are FAMOUS for that.
Go to gov't agencies: state welfare, food stamps, etc. You are sick. Until you get well, you need help. Don't be too afraid to ask. Have your daughter get the forms from these agencies and then you fill them out and mail them in. Please do it asap.

I'm so sorry for your trouble. For anxiety attacks, see if your local library has a copy of a book called "Hope and Help for Your Nerves" by Dr. Claire Weeks. I nearly became homebound due to crippling anxiety attacks that began due to a serious physical illness a few years ago. The book was recommended to me by a therapist who specialized in anxiety disorders. It's somewhat dated and simplistic, but it perfectly describes what you're experiencing and more important, explains how your fear of the attacks themselves escalate your problem. It walks you through the steps of desensitization, as well. Within a few weeks, I was panic-attack free because of this book, without drugs. Whatever your situation is, it certainly couldn't hurt. At least you'll have a better understanding of your problem.

For other assistance, try Salvation Army in addition to your state's social services agency if you're not eligible for state disability, SSI, etc. You should at least be eligible for food stamps.

I get that, my anxiety has gotten pretty bad, and if I am not on my medication, like I am right now, then something simple like even calling a doctor's office to set up an appointment can cause a full on panic attack and shut me down for a few hours. People don't get what severe anxiety is like, and so they can be heartless about it, like that bishop. I agree with others, if you need help, a non LDS group would be much more likely to offer some sort of assistance.

You have to bear in mind the Bishop cannot open the flood gates to anyone who asks for money. If you aren't attending then why do you feel entitled to receive anything from the Church?

Wherever you live there are social programmes that can help you, don't turn to the Church just because you want their money.

...if they give money to people who need help, how will the Church afford more shopping malls, ranches, and luxury apartment buildings?

Sounds like a oxymoron!!

But isn't the church supposed to act Christian, and help anyone regardless of whether they are attending or not? Again, here is one of the major differences between the Mormon church and other churches. Catholic Charities won't demand that you become Catholic and go to mass to receive financial assistance from them. My church has a food bank and we have no idea the religion of the people who get help from us. Truly helping other people shouldn't have strings attached.

If the bishop was truly a caring person, he would make some attempt to understand her disabilities and help her.

I don't feel 'entitled'. I realize they can't just hand it out. I have not gone for four months. I am reaching almost 40 and have been since birth. You do the math.

If you can't see the hypocrisy of taking a HUGE portion of my money and confirming it goes to help 'those in need', and then turning me away when I need it, then there is no hope to explain. ;)

So yeah...keep on believing someone like me is pompous and entitled (gather I have been ill, not just waving off the church..HUGE difference), while they are safe and secure in their million dollar homes.

O.k. You are right. I'm selfish and entitled.

This was supposed to go to 'Stumbled'. Keep on keeping on. Go entitled people. :P

I suffered from severe anxiety and panic attacks while a member, especially on Sundays. Here is my best advice to you:

Come to terms that the church is not true. Read cesletter.com and watch "The Lost Book of Abraham" on youtube. It's all a big fraudulent corporation honey. Send in your letter of resignation and be done with it. You have done NOTHING wrong. You are the victim of a cult. Once I came to this conclusion, the anxiety dissipated.

I'm also in Utah, and there are food banks all over the state. Get to an agency today and start the process for getting the assistance you need. If you just walk into a shelter, they will be able to assist you with your needs, even if you're not homeless. They will be able to make resources available to you.

Best of luck.

Christian vs. Mormon - no comparison! More strings attached than a choir operating at full steam ahead.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/17/2014 01:34PM by moremany.

Reading things like this breaks my heart. I suffer from anxiety and depression, too, but nowhere near what you are going through. The best advice I could offer is seek assistance through any of the government programs you might be eligible for just until you can get the help that you need. There are several great medicines out there that work wonders for keeping anxiety in check (affordable, too)

I would send a letter to the bishop and I would lay it on thick. Tell him exactly what you told us (minus the part about having doubts about the church.)

I'd just go on and on about how disappointed you are and how much you've tithed and the hours you've given to the church and how disappointed you are in the ward rejecting you despite your testimony being as strong as ever.

Lay on the guilt Catholic-style. It works.

Good luck.

PS--yes on the outside charity approaches as well.

Your story sounds similar to mine! Only difference is that my TBM dad is making me good back to the morg since I lost my job I was at 3 weeks ago!!

He says he wants me to socialize with other people(besides family) and hopefully I will get a job from someone in the ward!!I'm 41, have Ashberger's Syndrome, fought cancer twice and have a hip replaced. I'm not happy about going back. I probably know a lot more of what's going with the morg than my local ward. Thanks to board of course!!

I'm still waiting for my unemployment to kick in but it looks like my former employer is fighting it. I also have a nightmare right now with Social Security. Because of this, there are days I feel mega depressed. Like going to church yesterday for 3 long boring hours.

You're not the only one out there going though this! Please keep us posted of what happens!! We care about people here!! Good Luck!!