http://mobile.washingtonpost.com/c.jsp?item=http%3a%2f%2fwww.washingtonpost.com%2flifestyle%2fstyle%2fmormons-using-the-web-to-control-their-own-image%2f2011%2f08%2f11%2fgIQA1J6BMJ_mobile.mobile&cid=578815&spf=1
“There is a concern that public affairs, or the urge to be attractive, goes too far toward assimilation,” said Richard Bushman, a Mormon and historian of American religion. “You strain out anything that would be unusual. And for many Mormons it’s the distinctive, far-out beliefs that are the most exciting part of their religion.”

10. Naked touching Initiatories
9. Five Points of Fellowship
8. Blood Oaths
7. The Second Anointing
6. The Adam-God Doctrine
5. Black-free Priesthood
4. All other Sects and Creeds are abominable
3. We are as God once was
2. The Second Coming is almost here
1. Mormon men can have multiple living wives

Good luck living these "exciting beliefs"! You will have to join Warren Jeffs.

1. Becoming a goddess (never mind I needed a partner-god to achieve that)

2. The idea of the Three Nephites

3. God being from another planet (I kid you not, I thought this was just fabulous).

Give me another good ale and I'll think of more, hee hee.

the three Nephites, and the Jaredite barges, both from the most correct book on the face of the Earth. The headless Shiz is pretty cool, too.

1. every
2. person
3. who
4. is
5. not
6. a
7. Mormon
8. goes
9. to
10. hell



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 08/18/2011 06:12PM by steve benson.

Mormons actually teach a modified Universalist doctrine today. Originally Joseph Smith and the Book of Mormon opposed Universalism, however, he changed his mind and included the concept in his teachings. No matter that it conflicted with what he wrote in the Book of Mormon. The current living prophet can change any doctrine at any time.

In Mormon theology, virtually everyone will find a place in heaven. The evil and wicked of the world will live in the Telestial Kingdom after they have paid their dues in spirit prison. Even though the Telestial Kingdom is the lowest part of heaven, it is still a paradise. The good and honorable people of the world, although they may not have been Mormons and may have rejected Mormonism, will live in the Terrestrial Kingdom. People in both the Telestial and Terrestrial Kingdoms will be given the opportunity to accept the Mormon gospel in the next life, but if they do accept it they can't make it to the Celestial kingdom, which is reserved for those upper echelon Mormons from this life.

There is a Mormon Hell, but it is basically reserved for the "sons of perdition," who were Mormons in this life who received the priesthood, but who apostasized and rejected the Mormon church and gospel.

The people in the lower Telestial Kingdom will be able to be in the presence of the Holy Ghost. The people in the middle Terrestrial Kingdom will be able to be in the presence of Jesus Christ and presumably also the Holy Ghost. The people in the highest Celestial Kingdom will be in the presence of God the Father and presumably jesus Christ and the Holy Ghost. That conforms to the manner in which the Mormon church views the godhead. God is the best, Jesus Christ is second-rate and the Holy Ghost hardly rates at all. All quite the opposite to orthodox Christian theology.

<<<<quite the opposite to orthodox Christian theology>>>>

which is just as crazy or crazier when you consider it...

Orthodox X-ianity teaches that EVEN GOOD PEOPLE who didn't choose to make-believe in jesus will burn in hell forever with no chance of rehabilitation, and terrible people including rapists, murderers, and child molestors who make-believe in the flying jewish zombie get to go to heaven to live with god who is sometimes his own father, and also his own son, and still other times a ghost character, seemingly popping into existence whenever their names are called.

And, of course, this observation is made from the Mormon Guy-God perspective, since ultimately in the Guy-God world of Mormonism, Patriarchy rules both heaven and earth.

And as both women and men who get that fact might say, "Man, ain't that the truth!" :)



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 08/18/2011 09:52PM by steve benson.

Yes, you're right. Damnation is considered to be anything less than exaltation. Given the massive number or performance-related duties and obligations required by the church, which is actually perfection, "after all we can do," one would think that Mormons would get the idea that no one can be good enough to escape. But they seem to remain on the treadmill, hoping it will actually take them where they wish to go.

Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 08/18/2011 10:57PM by steve benson.

I like when they lose traction and they just spin around in the wheel like lifeless tribbles. It really gets on my nerd.

This is of course bonkers when you really think about the implications. So, our loving heavenly father is quite alright about sending vast numbers of his spirit children to the terrestial kingdon so that he will never ever see them again?

Remember, these are countless millions upon millions of his children who we assume he loves dearly and have led really good lives but just didn't convert to mormonism. What sort of father would be really happy to never see them again and just give them face time with their elder brother?

I can't believe there was a time when I thought this all made sense.

1. If I got stranded on the highway I could count on one of the Three Nephites appearing and fixing the flat tire for me - then disappearing.

2. If I ever got to be a bishop I would be able read people's minds because I would then have the 'gift of discernment.'

3. As long as I wore the holy 'Gs' I would be protected from car wrecks, gunshot wounds, and burning houses.

4. If I kept the WoW I would be able to run all day and never be weary.

5. When I blessed the food it actually changed into something different that would literally now be used ". . . for its intended use", whatever that was.

Pretty heady stuff!

I love the G's stories. I once witnessed a priesthood holder nearly saw his thigh in half accidentally with a chainsaw at a service project. The saw went right through his jesus jammies like butter. That's when I knew they didn't protect you from anything except comfort.

1. That I could have my own seer stone with a new name written on it.

2. That I could live on a giant Urim & Thummim and have alllllllllllllllllllll my questions finally answered.

3. That I could perform magic in the name of jesus.

That we would become gods. Gods children have to grow up some day and the cycle has to keep going which if we are gods children and we die to only worthip god when we get to heaven then the whole idea seems to stagnate a bit. But this is still my favorate that branches off it for its irony. To be a god the skydaddy has to keep to certain rules and as god is a god and theres no god higher he is bound by the rules and has to folow them in essence there is no god just the rules he worships. Like here on earth there is no mormon god just the rules that are worshiped.

I would think that a lot of Mormon men are delighted that they get to have sex for eternity.

Their wives, however...


~VOW

They didn't have an answer for that.

I remember being taught in seminary what to do if a spirit visited your house, which I always thought was cool. I'm pretty sure this idea has a scriptural origin, but I couldn't tell you where it's hidden (likely D&C, right?).

The basic idea is this: If a spirit person comes knocking, before you heed his or her advice, ask to shake its hand. Glenda the good spirits will refuse, having the foreknowledge that her hand is incorporeal. Bad spirits will attempt to shake your hand, which will be intangible (and awkward). At that point, I suppose, you shut the door.

What was always puzzling was why would this secret, which our seminary teacher was freely speaking, and which was written in the scriptures, why would it not be known by the cunning evil spirits? And furthermore, why would any spirit, good or bad, come to my house?

Paying tithing will make you rich.

Everyone will end up living in Missouri.

that's all I got.

Ron

Tabula Rasa Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Paying tithing will make you rich.
>
> Everyone will end up living in Missouri.
>
> that's all I got.

...I never got rich. But I'm sure Mormons would say "blessings" are a form of riches instead of "filthy lucre."

I remember being told about the millennium. Christ would lead the entire world for 1000 yrs. Something about having to cleanse the earth with fire. Then the lions would lay with the lambs.