I sent in my letter to be removed from the records of the church about 3 weeks ago. I did receive my letter saying that my Bishop would contact me, (whom I've never met. Been inactive for years.) Apparantly, this Sunday during Sacrement they read my son's name in as a new member of their ward. He's 6. To my knowledge, they've never had his information-- I sure as hell didn't give it to them.

What do you guys think? They pulled my records to get them to the ward to notify the Bishop that I want out-- I get that. Maybe my mom gave them my sons information years ago? Why in the world would they read in a 6 year old boys name as a new member when his mom has requested out? I only found out they read his name because a lady in the ward watches him after school from time to time. I'm confused at the whole thing. Who do I call to yell at?

I'm so ready for the Bishop to come talk to me as well, I'd be happy to tell him my reasons. Does that take months?

This seems very peculiar. Honestly you should ask the Bishop about it when he contacts you.

I could understand it if he was over 8 (baptism age) or over 18 (Melchezidek priesthood/adult age), but for a 6 year-old to be announced as a new member is very strange to me.

Could be a passive aggressive thing (i.e. they'll try and activate your son hoping it'll cause you to not resign). That's just a guess though, it seems strange to me.

Something is not making sense. Talk to the bishop. If you have custody of your son, you an remove his name also.

Poin0-- That's precisely what I thought. Grasping at straws, maybe? I will definitely remove his name-- but I'd like to get to the bottom of how they got it in the first place. Beyond creepy and invasive.

As far as talking with the Bishop-- does anyone have experience in meeting with them after requesting name removal? I don't want to be sitting in limbo for months, but I would like to speek with him. Especially considering all this new business.

Teach (I presume you are) your son the truth... then he can battle it out with anyone, from a 7 year old to a 70, even a profit or apostle.

It might be some kind of bait. Just make sure the kids sees the hook. Show him the difference between bait and switch. Their words mean nothing. Yours, though, are very important, and mean a lot more than heaven right now.

Contact the bishop and say I heard that my son's name was read as a new member how can this be when he is not baptized, or a member. Is this a mistake, or, what can you tell me about it. Thanks. That will be all.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/29/2014 06:20PM by moremany.

You didn't say how you sent in your resignation. If you sent your resignation request to the bishop, that was sort of a mistake. Whatever the case, send a new letter to church HQ (an example is found on this site) and specify that your son not be included in the membership. (And do not use the phrase "name removal" or "name removed from the records" when writing. Your son is a small child and it's your prerogative to not have him included as a member.)

Dear bishop,
I heard about your passive aggressive move this last Sunday with regards to "reading in" my sons name. Let me help you out. Do a ignoramus thing like that again and the church generally and you specifically will be talking to my attorney.

With all the disrespect I can muster,
Lucy!

Hmm, were your records in the ward or were they lost by chance? I wonder if by resigning, they now got your address and sent you and your son's records to your ward. This could have caused them to consider your son a new ward member even if you are not.

This

They may have had to send your records to the ward and the family records had only your son on them. Some ward clearly may have print it out a gave it to the bishop and they read them in SM without really any thought of who it is.

This is exactly the fear that has kept me from resigning all these years. I know that my records are "lost" and they are looking for me but don't know where I am. The fear that sending in a resignation would resurrect my records and send them to the local ward (which I have never attended in 23 years of living here) is what keeps me from resigning.

This is kind of an unfounded fear, I think. Just resign

If they show, you can resign. Until then, leave well enough alone.

They have no right to announce his name in their open meeting without your permission.

Sounds like they decided to do this BECAUSE you resigned. Could that be it? They don't like resignations and they wanted to feel like they could still have some control of your family by bringing up your child's name.

Even though you shouldn't have to do it (due to his age,) I would go ahead and resign your son as well. Make sure both resignations go through the Membership Records department in SLC because they will provide oversight of the process. Mention specifically that your son's name was read into the records and you want to make sure that he is in no way associated with the Mormon church.

^^This is good advice!^^

I would just calmly inform them that a mistake has been made. You were told that your son's name was mentioned as a member in Sacrament Meeting. State that your son is only 6, that you have resigned and that he is in no way a member of the LDS Church.

Also request that his name be added to your resignation, since his name seems to be on their records.

Although if you feel the need to yell that a minor's name was announced in Sacrament Meeting in the first place, I wouldn't blame you one bit.

Was your son ever blessed in the church? Then he is a child of record. But why they'd read his name in sacrament is beyond me.

But if they did it in the ward council or Welfare meetings you'd never have known about it until your son started getting mail and calls from the ward leaders.

Take care of both of your names.

to resign. They may WANT you to but you do not have to. As soon as they receive your letter saying you resign YOU ARE OUT. Anything else is just them processing their own paperwork. Not your problem. If you do decide you want to meet/talk with them remember it is on YOUR terms. You owe them nothing. No explanations, nothing. They have no more control over you than someone you meet on the sidewalk. They are not your bishop, they are not your anything. As to your son, my money is on your family giving them the info. Very inappropriate.

This is all great advice. I did send my resignation letter to Church headquarters. My son has never been blessed or even attended meetings besides a few awkward baptisms etc we have gone to. My records to my knowledge have not been touched since I quit going to any function over 8 years ago. It is unsettling to me considering how out I have been for so long- and the fact that my son has never remotely been in.
I of course was invited to church by the woman who sits for me sometimes, I don't even know if she could be behind it somehow. I politely declined stating I could never say I believed Joseph to be a true prophet, and all from stuff I've read on church approved sources. I also make it a point to tell my son history on our car rides. Some of his favorites are tales of "Joseph the liar." The real history is so much more interesting. I'm going to try and track down this elusive bishop tomorrow and clear some stuff up. Also, I'm telling him even after all the waiting they've made me do I still am intent on getting the hell out. Geez.

Don't let this woman babysit your child again, she may try to indoctrinate him behind your back.

Now that your son has a membership number, I believe they will keep him as active on the rolls until he is eighteen (if unbaptized). This is easy for them to do. All the clerk needed was your info and his name/D.O.B. He enters it in to the computer, and VOILÀ! your son has a membership number. If mom and dad are not technically members, then he becomes the "head of household" by default.

This was a dick move for sure. If they can't keep you, they'll be damned if they'll let your kid travel the path to hell with you.

You can leave the church, but the church can't leave you alone.

By announcing his name, they have given the green light to everyone at church to hassle you and try to get to you through him. The Bishop knows very well what he's doing. He's going to make your life as miserable as he can until you break down and come back. Oh and if you try to stop them, he'll call you to repentance for trying to stop them from soiling your son.

did you have your son blessed as a baby ?

Get up there and give 'em your testimony of the cult's dishonest practices with both barrels.

I never did have my baby blessed. It was certainly brought up, but I stood strong. That's partly why I'm so confused. My son has never gone to church without me, and we've never gone to more than a baby blessing or a baptism. I stopped even going to those a few years ago. They can be so very depressing.

Then they have no business having him on their records. I'd demand that it be removed immediately.

For whatever reasons, I'd bet dollars to donuts that the baby sitter lady is lying about your son's name being read in Sacrament meeting as a "new" member.( Double so since you said your son was never even blessed.)

Perhaps she is being passive/aggessive ? She may want to goad you a little because of your disbelief, your parenting style, your looks, your personality, etc...

I suggest you try to double check the facts before going off on the bishop.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/30/2014 08:20AM by dejavue.

FYI, the a baby or child does NOT have to be blessed or baptized to be issued a Membership Record Number.

They get a number if they're blessed, but they can also get a number if a Mormon decides to give them one. It isn't routine but it does happen.

Dejavue-- Very interesting. I interract with zero other LDS members in my area, and so that's a hard thing to figure out. My son very well could have not even been mentioned... and if that is the case, this lady is a nut job.

So far, the "well meaning" glazy eyed women haven't shown up at my door. Maybe that's a sign that my sitter lady is full of it. Except, I do work a regular 9-5. I imagine that's when most your awkward visits would take place.