For those who are interested, I posted yesterday that I'd been invited by my nice TBM neighbor to her son's baby blessing today, and I was asking here for advice as to whether I should bring a gift and what would be appropriate, etc.

My impressions, for what they're worth:

My daughter and I arrived just after 9:00 am, but fortunately the 9:00 service hadn't started yet. We were greeted warmly by my neighbor's sister-in-law whom I have met before at a few neighborhood events, and with whom I've always gotten along well. (She has a pretty wild sense of humor for a TBM, at least compared with my neighbor.) She told us just to sit anywhere. It was pretty crowded, so we sat at the back.

The parking lot was nearly full, and the pews were probably 85% filled when we arrived. Only one or two people came in later on. I'd estimate there were about 125-150 people in attendance.

It was a very white (non-Latino white) crowd, even though the area we live in is majority Asian nowadays. Not like I would expect that many Asians at an LDS service, but I was surprised I didn't see Pacific Islanders. There was one family that appeared to be of Chinese descent. Then again, since we were toward the back we obviously couldn't see everyone. There was a multitude of little kids and babies.

Having young kids myself, I feel like a bit of a jerk admitting this, but I did find the kid noise slightly annoying. I was raised Catholic, and although obviously Catholic churches have plenty of kids in attendance too, a lot of families will take their kids to a "crying room" to listen to and watch the service. However, it could just be that the church I grew up attending was much larger inside than this place is, so noises didn't matter so much.

The blessing was at the beginning of the service. A man who appeared to be in his early 60s (the stake president?) stood up and said something like, "So, I think we have a baby to bless today--is that right? What family is that? Oh, yes, the 'Smiths'." I was a little surprised; it didn't seem like he was announcing anything particularly special or sacred.

I did find the blessing moving, however, because my neighbor's husband was clearly emotional while giving it. His voice shook a bit. It seemed to me that he spoke extemporaneously.

The main things that stood out for me were when he prayed that the Heavenly Father would one day give the baby--or his family-- his own planet, and I apologize that I do not recall exactly how he worded this, but "planet" was part of it. I believe he said "the planet that you have set aside for us." I was surprised, because I thought I'd read on RfM more than a few times that Mormons recently have been in denial about that teaching or even unaware of it if they are younger.

He also prayed that when his son "takes a worthy young lady to the temple to be sealed one day" that they will be blessed by being sealed "unto the generations to come." Again, I may not have that verbatim, but it was close to that.

The other parts of the blessing were prayers for the baby to grow up to have a good education, a good heart, to learn the gospel and share it with others, etc.

Afterwards, the same man who'd spoken at the start announced that they had "some ward business" to discuss briefly, which was something I couldn't follow about someone being released from a calling. He asked for a show of hands to indicate if people agreed.

Then a hymn was sung (not bad--at least most people were in tune), during which some men and boys at the front appeared to be preparing the sacrament. I probably should have ducked out politely at that point with my daughter, but I was interested to see what they were doing. Suddenly, though, a boy of about 12 appeared at our pew, and since my daughter and I were at the end, he started to hand me a tray with bread on it. I didn't know if it would be appropriate to pass it on without taking some bread, so I said to him, "Oh, excuse me, but we're not LDS." He looked quite startled and then handed it to the elderly lady next to me.

This will sound odd, but my one truly negative impression of the experience was the strong smell of Wonder Bread when the sacrament was passed to me. Is it in fact Wonder Bread that is used? I hadn't smelled that since I was a kid, and it just seemed incongruous with something that is supposed to be sacred.

At that point, my daughter and I left. I would have been interested to hang around at least a little longer to see more of the service, but we had errands to run and then a birthday party to go to. As we are leaving, I went up to a woman in the lobby holding a toddler and asked if she knew my neighbor's family. She said she did, so I asked if she would mind giving them the small gift I'd brought for the baby. (I'd decided in the end to buy some sleepers, since I was going to get the baby a gift anyway, regardless of whether I'd attended the blessing. My daughter also made a card for his parents.) I thanked her, and that was it.

When we got in the car, my daughter (who is 7) said to me, "That church was boring looking, Mommy. They don't have any stained glass windows!" True...there was nothing inside, apart from the pews, to indicate it was a church or place of worship, at least to a never-Mo like me. The lone decoration was a large vase of flowers against a side wall. The space was wood paneled like a particularly uninteresting Rotary club meeting room.

I'm glad we attended. I was touched to be invited to the blessing or baptism of a child of any faith. Also, if I ever start going to church regularly again, I will have a renewed appreciation for Catholic decor. :-)

Yes, it's wonder bread

Wow, so the Wonder Bread smell is indeed unique! :-)

OK, I almost peed my pants at the Wonder Bread comment. In my last days in the Morg, I thought, "is Jesus supposed to stick between my teeth like play-do?" it does indeed have a unique stench!

In our ward it was always Wonder bread or something that could be found even cheaper. Wonder bread was a bit of a luxury.

My last ward was a bit unique in this department. The YW made homemade bread every Saturday night for sacrament on Sunday.

The bread was good, but I used to wonder why these girls weren't out dating and living the teenaged life. Then I saw the boys they had to choose from. Yep, bread making 101 would have been my choice too.

I lived in a ward where homemade bread was brought every week. It was some of the best bread I've ever had. The lady that made it had customers that she made loaves for weekly, so I think her providing the sacrament bread each week was just her advertising.

Thanks for your report. The older man would have been the bishop or a counselor. Any brand of bread can be used for the sacrament, I've even had whole wheat and homemade bread. If you had stayed for the remainder of the meeting you would have heard members of the ward take turns telling (called bearing) their testimonies. Baby blessings are usually held on Fast Sunday which is usually the first Sunday of the month but next Sunday is General Conference which is broadcast from Salt Lake City. Fast Sunday is normally the first Sunday of the month when members forgo two meals and give the money that those meals would have cost to Fast Offerings which are used to help those in need in the ward.

My sister's ward assigned bread making for sacrament to some woman as a church calling. Her bread was always burned and tasted horrible. The crust was always so burned that it was too hard to chew and the children usually choked on it. I never understood why this woman was able to keep that calling. God's ways are an eternal mystery.

She was trying to get out of the bread making calling. When you're a female mormon your best weapon is to be passive aggressive. Apparently she made better bread than the worst bread maker in the ward. Or, she was the only one who would actually MAKE bread, no matter the quality.

Well, you pretty much summed it up pretty well - that's how LDS services go. It sounds like it fulfilled your curiosity and I'm sure it meant a lot for your friend. Thanks for reporting back.

One fine day (seemed like a good idea at the time), towards the end of my 'active' days, I took my daughter and granddaughter to a Sacrament meeting. On the drive back home I asked my granddaughter what she thought, to which she declared that it wasn't a proper church.

Out of the mouths of babes. I knew then I had heard something profound.


Learn, granddad, learn.

" . . . there was nothing inside, apart from the pews, to indicate it was a church or place of worship, at least to a never-Mo like me."

Growing up Mormon, that never occurred to me, until your comment. But every other church I've been in has had some religious symbols or art in the sanctuary (chapel). Maybe it's a cross or a picture of a dove or Jesus, or something. Or the stained glass.

LDS churches are kind of generic.

My nevermo experience was very similar to yours. It was a long time ago, but the two things that stood out the most was the noise level of people and kids talking over whoever was speaking. I thought it was very disrespectful. When it came time for the blessing, a bunch of men went up to the front, formed a circle with their arms outstretched on each other's shoulders. I thought it was peculiar that women couldn't be part of that blessing. It also was not a very sacred experience having bits of torn bread and little cups of water (not even grape juice)on a tray being passed around. it looked a little like a nurse dispensing medication in a convalescent hospital.

You know, now at i think about it, that is wierd that women dont have a part in it. Theyre expected to just sit in the back smiling proudly. But theyre the ones who did all the work making the little sucker! Very odd hat a group of strange men plus the dad would gather around her baby...

Interesting reading your impressions. It was kind of you to attend.

I had not seen Wonder Bread for Sacrament in decades. Would not have been used in the areas I lived in. Years past, the ladies were asked to bring a loaf of newly home baked whole wheat bread.
Interesting to me was your aversion to a smell of bread.

I've heard hundreds of blessings in the decades I was a member. Never once heard a word about a planet. I would have been surprised by that.

Every church has it's religious rituals and traditions that are most often, extremely important to the believers. They are usually considered odd, strange, weird to an outsider.

Wow, Susie. Why don't you just say what you really mean? Talk about passive aggressive. Are you accusing her of lying about the planet thing? What do you mean her aversion to the smell of bread is "interesting?" Are you saying she didn't like the smell because she is trying to be mean about a mormon church service? Some people don't like the smell of certain foods regardless of their feelings about the mormon church! She didn't say she found it "odd, strange or weird," but you seem to be defending the service as if she did say that. Why? Why do you constantly defend TSCC on a recovery from mormonism board? Are you just playing devil's advocate? Are you just trying to convince ex-mos the mormon church is really not that bad, so get over it already? Why? I am just trying to understand you.

I think the description of the blessing was very objective, NeverMo in CA! I enjoyed seeing this blessing, something so familiar to me, through the eyes of an outsider. I think it's nice you were invited, went, and told us about your experience. I think it always expands our minds to see how people different from us experience something like religion. I once went to a Christmas Midnight Mass, and it was enlightening to see a little of how Catholics worship. I was surprised that the priest talked about some things that happened during the week because I had assumed Mass was always very formal. I did not think any of it was weird, but I learned some things I didn't know like the audience kneels at times and says something back to the priest at certain times (it was a long time ago, so I don't remember what that was). Anywho, thanks for the report!

Yeah, i gotta agree, susie seemed a little defensive about the post.. No offense susie. But... Wonder bread does have its own smell. I mean, if you compare wonder bread to wheat berries, youll see that wonder bread has very little in common with the wheat it comes from. Same with most cheapie white bread brands. Chemical-y :p yuck
And if the dude said the kid gets his own planet, the dude said he gets his own planet. Not really seeing a reason why the OP would lie about that.

"Every church has it's religious rituals and traditions that are most often, extremely important to the believers."

Thanks for pointing that out SusieQ#1. I'm sure no one on this board including the OP had any idea. What a concept!

Thanks SuzieQ#1, but I didn't feel I was being kind by attending. I would do so for any friend, regardless of his or faith.

I didn't find the service particularly "odd, strange, or weird," other than the planet reference during the blessing. I guess even that wasn't all that weird, though, considering that I've learned about that doctrine on RfM...it was just a surprise to hear it stated openly.

Too bad I had to miss the testimony part, because I truly would have been interested to hear what kinds of things people say.

Fast and testimony is generally not that interesting. It's generally the same few people every month, either attention seeking or with some need to put themselves out there. So it's kinda interesting the first time, but quickly becomes repetitive. You hear the same people say the same kind of story - just on a different day.

Thanks for the follow-up report. It sound very much like my experiences at a baby blessing I attended last year for a grandchild. My entire non-Mormon family showed up because we're like that about family events.

The blessing was announced like an afterthought; which surprised me because with all the emphasis on family, I expected it to be a bigger deal. The father (my son-in-law) gave a very nice blessing although I couldn't hear everything he said because we were sitting too far away and it was a little noisy. Didn't hear anything about planets. All the women in my family are pretty feminist and were insulted on behalf of my daughter that she wasn't allowed to participate in the blessing of her own child. No one except our family greeted us or spoke to us before or after the service.

As I said I was surprised that a bigger deal isn't made over baby blessings. In our non-denomination church, the entire family (parents & siblings) is asked to come to the front with the baby being blessed. The pastor introduces visiting family, gushes over the baby and then asks the parent(s) if they commit to raising their child as a Christian (not a Lutheran, Baptist, etc. - Christian). Then he asks the congregation, as the church family, if we will support the family in their commitment. Then we all sing "Jesus Loves Me".

> The main things that stood out for me were when he
> prayed that the Heavenly Father would one day give
> the baby--or his family-- his own planet, and I
> apologize that I do not recall exactly how he
> worded this, but "planet" was part of it. I
> believe he said "the planet that you have set
> aside for us." I was surprised, because I thought
> I'd read on RfM more than a few times that Mormons
> recently have been in denial about that teaching
> or even unaware of it if they are younger.

I've never heard such a blessing bestowed upon a baby during a baby blessing. Usually it is along the lines of being a faithful member of the church, serving a mission, marrying in the temple, etc. Sounds like an exciting blessing... it would have been a good question to ask the family afterwards... "what exactly did you mean by that?" :)

Yeah.. Im surprised the guy conducting the meeting didnt take the dad aside at some point and tell him that the planet thing was "sacred" and not to be talked about in sacrament meeting

Thank you. Fascinating. I love the nevermo point of view.

We always had wonder bread for the sacrament. When we were kids my friend and I used to roll it into a little ball and take it like a pill when the water came around--until we got caught. Because of this I laughed so hard at what Agate said: "on a tray being passed around. it looked a little like a nurse dispensing medication in a convalescent hospital."

I was a kid in the fifties and sixties and we heard a lot of the stuff about getting your own planet and things like that. They are usually said by the less active men who hadn't learned how to say the usual things.

The worst for me was even when I was young was to see the fathers who weren't "worthy" watch someone else bless their babies. I hated that.

Like SusieQ#1 after 60 years in the church I had also never heard anyone promise their baby a planet, although I believe you when you said the guy said it. Some guys sometimes say some strange things in the blessings.

This is why Mormons are so fascinated with their temples. They are the closest things they have to beautiful buildings. The everyday chapel/basketball court is plane and resembles every other LDS building used for the same purpose.

Thanks for reporting back.

I wonder if when he said "the planet that you have set aside for us" he was talking about our planet earth. Maybe something about fulfilling our purpose or our plan here on the planet? Just a thought.

Haha about the wonder bread. At our ward it was usually whatever generic bread was on sale that week.

I have 3 kids of my own, and the sound of wailing kids drove me NUTS. It was an audible din. Our ward was pretty decent about taking kids out though. I've heard in some wards where there are tons of kids it's hard to hear the speakers through the noise of kids. The last few years attending church I was pretty cranky. If a family with rowdy children sat behind us, I'd get up and go sit out in the lobby. I cannot sit through a boring meeting with a kid crying behind me for an hour.

You want to see stained glass windows in a mormon church; here you go:

http://ldsarchitecture.wordpress.com/2011/03/15/salt-lake-2nd-ward-stained-glass/

Some of the older buildings have them, but not many.

One of the wards in Morgan--Mountain Green I think--has a stained glass window at the front of the chapel of the first vision. Of course no one is worshipping Joseph. Oh no.

Early century Washington D.C. - even at so great a cost, and certainly at a large loss, is no longer an LDS Church. They let the best go to waste.

http://www.keepapitchinin.org/2012/09/26/guest-post-the-washington-d-c-chapel/

It had stained glass windows, and is the only LDS chapel to ever had have the angel Moroni atop it.

I always gave different blessings than the norm. I left out missions, temple, and so forth. Last one was for a GC and I put in he would be prime minister of Ireland if he so chose! He is a redhead named "Sean". Told him about parts of ancestry. Real special blessings.

I like at least a modicum of stained glass, about the amount in the Catholic church in Nauvoo which is much prettier than the Nauvoo temple. Besides, I could walk into it.

Possibly the best stained glass in the country - world class - is in Saint John's Basilica in Stamford.

Quick question, though. Do other religions allow women to participate in baby blessings? I mean, i know they can be ordained as ministers in other religions.
Just curious

From a never-mo:

On women particpating...

When I attended Lutheran Sunday worship services, sometimes a baptism or two would be part of the service. Many times it would be an infant with his/her parents (and maybe other family members) standing near the baptismal font at the front of the church sanctuary nearer to one side.

The pastor would stand at the small font, reading from the liturgy along with many Bible scriptures. Then the pastor would have the parents move closer to the font, with usually the mother holding the baby somewhat horizontally over the font.

The baptism liturgy would be said ending with this, "I baptize you, [name], in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit", with three pourings of water over the top of the baby's head, one each for the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Then the pastor patted the baby's wet head with a special white cloth and gave it to the parents along with a hardback folder containing the baptismal certificate.

Other churches at least let the mother hold her freakin' baby.

One sacrament meeting, there was no bread, so my 12-year-old Deacon son offered to run over to our house and get some. We lived only two houses away. When the sacrament was passed that day, I smelled the odor of mold! I looked closely, and recognized the bread as ours. We always had fresh baked bread, but when it went stale (no preservatives) I would keep it to feed to the ducks. At least you got Wonder Bread, and not duck bread. Everyone partook without saying one word.

It wasn't deliberate. I asked my son where the bread had come from, and he was actually proud to come to the rescue. He told me that he had a hard time finding the bread, because it was not where we usually keep the bread.