http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,1387382

To Phase -- I think that you absolutely made the right call given your feelings and your circumstances. I can tell you that if I were in your shoes I would have been furious that your asshat of a husband told your family before the two of you figured out what would happen. That alone tells me that he's not enough of a grownup to be a father.

I agree with Tori that you might want to consider counseling if you find that your abortion bothers you for more than a short period of time. But I've read that the main feeling that women have afterward is one of relief.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/26/2014 07:57PM by summer.

I didn't want a baby either, and I've had no feels of remorse, guilt, or regret. And it was almost 30 years ago.

To Phase: I can personally relate to your issues. There are helpful programs, to assist you in dealing with your choices. I hope you find one...Counseling helped me live with my decisions and move forward. Best wishes.

Some people don't seem to understand that whatever decision she made would have been the right decision, because she made the decision. It's her choice. Not theirs.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 09/26/2014 09:43PM by wine country girl.

Exactly.

I have a friend who's had more kids pulled out of her than a burning orphanage.

Not my place to judge.

It just hurts because I'd love to have a kid.

But again, not my place to judge, not my decision to make.

It's a hard enough situation to be in without people spouting out their judgmental opinions. People love to get all sentimental about fetuses and such without caring about them after they're born.

If people aren't going to support a woman through her pregnancy, be there for her when she gives birth and hold her hand and help her raise a child, why should they judge?

Too many pro-life people are only pro-birth without really caring about the woman carrying the fetus and what she's going through. It's irritating. Nor do they care about what happens once the child is born. They just want to judge all the time and be harsh and rude and not empathize.

I believe bringing a child that is not wanted into the world is worse than choosing an abortion.

Phase, it seems that you made the best decision for you. It seems people want to make having an abortion a moral issue and a choice a woman needs to feel guilty about. I don't agree with that.

I had one about six months ago. I knew I made the right choice and didn't feel any regret at any point of the process. People who are against abortion can be really mean and judgemental. I was going to keep mine a complete secret. But now I tell people about it because I think the more women talk about it and how they don't regret it, we might be a little less judged. its interesting that on the internet, stories about women that don't regret their abortions are hurried far beneath the "pro life" rhetoric and women's "post abortion traumatic disorder".

I had an abortion several years ago. It was a stressful decision to make, and I worried that I would feel guilt from it for a long time. However, I don't feel any regret, and no guilt. I hardly ever think about. I think having an abortion in some circumstances is the most compassionate stance. I've never wanted kids (the world is overpopulated enough!).

I couldn't believe how horrible people were being.

Again, it was very brave to tell her story and own her decision.

I think people are just deeply programmed to have such a visceral reaction to it. You can take the people out of religion but you can't always take the religion out of people.

I am surprised at the comments that "everyone who has had an abortion regretted it." That is totally untrue. Has everyone who has used birth control to prevent having children regretted it? Has everyone who gave up a child for adoption regretted it? Has everyone who gave birth to a child and kept it regretted it? How many parents have ever said to themselves secretly that they wonder what their life would have been like if they had not had a child or had not had another child?

We all question our decisions in life at times and wonder "what if?"