Posted by:
ExMoBandB
(
)
Date: September 27, 2014 04:50PM
Have you read in the news, that Facebook makes people depressed?
When I left the cult, I quit Facebook altogether. I had a lot of reasons. One reason was that I was too busy and occupied with other things, and I would forget about going onto Facebook. My neglect caused some Facebook friends to think that I was intentionally ignoring them. I had to explain, and I now exchange personal e-mails, which include selected photos, individual conversations. Everyone is happy with this.
Group conversations, and group letters, such as Christmas brag letters and mass e-mails--all popular with Mormons--are dangerous. "You can't please all the people all the time."
"Speaking out" is good, but only with very close, immediate family members. My children and I have always been very close, but they were afraid to tell me about their experiences with Mormon abuse. Also, the Mormon leaders had threatened my children not to tell anyone--especially me. Finally, I asked them point-blank to tell me exactly why they hated church so much. They told me everything! We cried. I told them that they never had to go to church again, though I still believed. I went online to RFM and discovered the church is a fraud, discussed it with my children, and we resigned together. We are now even closer than before. I have heard about husbands and wives that have resigned together, too. Usually one finds out the truth before the other one, and they resolve things through loving, listening to, and understanding each other.
It is more about listening, rather than "speaking out."
There was very little I could say to my Mormon fanatic in-laws, except when they would talk about business, health, current events, cars, which amounted to about one conversation a week. Mostly we had the grandchildren in common, which was a huge part of our lives! We disagreed on politics and the temple, which they talked about constantly. I would sit with my mouth shut. Later, they would think of me as "a good listener."
The world needs more good listeners!
You don't have to agree with everything. You already know in your heart what you believe, and what opinions you have. You live by your own values, and you set your own rules, quietly. Set your own boundaries of tolerance. If those boundaries are crossed, you can leave, you can change the subject, you can put in your earphones and listen to music. I like to say, "Let's not talk about politics or religion--let's enjoy the party!"
Religion should not be an issue in a relationship. You can make sure to keep that boundary.
BTW, Blueorchid is right. Good advice. Nothing you say or do will change a brainwashed fanatic. The testimonies of Mormons and other fanatics are based on feelings, not on debatable logic.