My Dad is so oblivious when it comes to religion! It's the weirdest situation, but he doesn't seem to understand that just because you have good memories doesn't mean it's a good place!

We used to be Mormon and we found our way out through research and realizing all of the corruption etc. But he wants to go back! I keep trying to pull him away and he will listen to what I say but it's becoming almost a daily occurence where he will say "I miss (the most positive thing he can possibly think of about the Mormon church)" and then end with "but I want to go wherever my kids are comfortable." And he knows that none of us want to go there but it feels like he's trying to persuade us.

The most unfortunate part of this is that everything he mentions is about the "friendship" and the "emphasis on family" and he thinks about all the funny/good memories we had at the church (he also doesn't seem to realize that we have so many more good memories outside of that church that have nothing to do with it. The actual amount of good memories he can recall is miniscule). I'm pretty sure he has completely forgotten how controlling it was and how many problems there were underneath the superficial comradery.

I have no certain idea why he is getting sucked into the social aspect of it (although I suspect that he is feeling lonely and stressed...possibly a midlife crisis) but I really hope he figures out why it would be a terrible idea.

I should also specify that I only say he is oblivious because he has done this with other religions as well. He gets way too easily sucked into social aspects. I am particularly worried though because he has never gotten this intense about the other churches/religions.

I'm sorry, I want to say that when I said he has done this before, I meant he would say things like "that was a nice church" or "I liked the people in that church" and it was never really a problem because it was more like revisiting good memories and then he would not bring it up again. (By saying "easily sucked into social aspects", I was exaggerating. He usually just loves to remember social aspects)

This is the first time it has actually seemed to affect his judgment and unfortunately, very severely as well. That is why I am so concerned.

Try not to make a mountain out of a molehill. Going back to church is dumb, but it's his decision, and it doesn't indicate massively poor judgement, especially if he's more interested in the social aspect than devoting every fiber of his being to the cause. There are a lot worse things that a man can do in his midlife crisis than attend sacrament meeting.

If the people give him some measure of joy or happiness, leave him alone. He sounds like a nice guy..., just trust that he'll work it out.

http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,1109896

Applicable.

Needs to go back.
A little reality will cure the recollections.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/16/2013 12:56PM by zenjamin.

Since this has happened multiple times before, this is likely not the last time it will happen. Are you living with him? Would you have to attend with him? If you can keep yourself far enough removed, I would wish him luck but decline to go with him.

How old is your dad? Is he missing the association of people his own age? The church that he so fondly remembers, if he is of a certain age, doesn't actually exist anymore. TSCC used to be a much warmer place. People met in a church that they had paid for and perhaps helped to build. There were parties and dances and bazaars that are no longer held. He may be longing for a memory that can never be again. I know that at this time of year, I am.

I would tell him that if he wants to go back to the Mormon church, then do it, but that you are not going to. Just stick to your guns. If you are a minor and your dad insists that you go to church as a family, then pick a denomination that would be more positive for you. I would suggest the ELCA Lutherans or the Episcopalians if your family is looking for a good basic Christian church.

Sounds like he just misses social interactions. I'm like that a bit. I am a joiner. I love social groups. And truly, it was the only thing that I enjoyed about the TSCC.

I wouldn't ever encourage him to go back, but you might want to steer him in a direction to find other social interactions.