I call BS on this article.
http://ldsliving.com/story/76721-when-your-child-doesnt-fit-the-mormon-mold

The members I've known who mentioned my missing a tie or letting my hair grow too long for "The Mormon Mold" have been anything but "well-meaning."

Seriously? The well meaning ones might have made passive aggressive comments about fitting the mold but aren't the bold ones who come up and say something to my face.

Does anyone here know well-meaning Church members who don't know? Seriously? This is just like Mormonism - make people out to be well-meaning who aren't. It is culture of denial. It is calling black white like the busy body lemming Mormon who thinks it their calling to attempt to homogenize and make fellow members fit a mold who approach relative strangers who happen to be coreligionists,

Mormonism fosters people who want to make the world into a cookie cutter place of conformist perfectionists. And then there are the Mormons like this author - thinking Mormonism is normal and finding excuses for where it shows its truth.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/25/2014 04:37PM by Elder Berry.

ITA that the article makes the mistaken assumption that members in this situation are well-meaning. The well-meaning ones don't say anything about the nonconformity; they welcome the child and talk to them just as they would anyone else that they liked. The Nazi-Mormons who let the kid know he/she is not toeing the line are mean-spirited conformists whose main concern is appearance.

ck Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> The Nazi-Mormons who let the kid know
> he/she is not toeing the line are mean-spirited
> conformists whose main concern is appearance.

And this Mormon calls them ignorant of her kid and well-meaning if they weren't ignorant.

The problem as we well know is their ignorance and finding out the details of this kid isn't going to change their comfort zone of being ignorant.

I think.... many/most people are Tuned Into expecting selfish motives for most anything we do-decide... it's difficult to imagine people Not thinking that way;

whether / not mormons are ultra/uber on this, IDK.

When I was in my 50's I would get comments from well meaning members. I use the term "well meaning" lightly. I don't think they were well meaning for a minute.

What was I wearing that was so scandalous? A suit, with a skirt to the knee, and 6 inch heels. My hair was white (natural), and my make up was conservative. So what was the big deal???

I like color. I wore a LOT of color. My hair was very short and spiky, I love fashionable shoes.

In my ward of retirees that were in their 70's and up, I was viewed as a rebellious over the top, bad example to the kids. I think the men mostly liked it, but had to pretend they didn't. Their wives were downright mean to me though. No matter, I refused to conform. Keep in mind that all of my clothing was garmie friendly. I've since gotten rid of all those clothes. I donated them to the senior center. They were church clothes. I no longer go to church.

in six-inch heels? Or was that a typo?

I really am curious. And my back hurts just thinking about it!

Saree,
who likes bright colors in clothing

mold and still get treated like sh*t. Just be from a family who isn't supposedly Mormon royalty. My whole family was treated like sh*t because our dad wasn't very active, though we come from a long line of "Mormon royalty." I didn't realize I was from Mormon royalty until I came to this board. Three of my six siblings left the lds church in their teens because of how we were treated. I have NO CLUE why I didn't. Maybe because I believed. Too bad our social group is ASSIGNED in the lds church. We couldn't escape it.

This article reminds me of my son. He has always dyed his hair since middle school. Oddly enough, it is not dyed right now. At my dad's funeral, some bitchy little lady that I used to babysit for stopped him in the hallway at the after funeral dinner and chastised him for his blue hair. This little bitch and her husband were partiers when I babysat for them. Now she was preaching to my child?

Many Mormons actually are good people, but MANY aren't. I'd say at least 50% fall into the category of being over the top judgmental, if not more.

cl2 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Many Mormons actually are good people, but MANY
> aren't. I'd say at least 50% fall into the
> category of being over the top judgmental, if not
> more.

And these are the people LDS Inc. asks to be over the top conforming which they do with relish AND be nice to people who refuse to follow these fearless leaders to the letter.

Not. Going. To. Happen.

And they know it. Causes those Mormons who want to engage in a fantasy that these other people are "well-meaning" to have heartburn and possibly be offended. Oh, well. their testimonies weren't strong enough for The Lord.

I was incredulous when I read that column. A "mainstream" American church that conflates a tie, a white shirt, and a certain kind of haircut with morality? Good God.

Meet The Mormons.

Conforming in dress, haircut, etc. is equated with the Mormon-invented "First Law of Heaven," which is OBEDIENCE!

As I've said before; Obedience is to be avoided unless necessary for the good of society. Religious obedience is not necessary.

Mormon mold... Yeah, they are a fungus, aren't they?

If they are going to enforce the strictness, it is only going to cause more rebellion and kids leaving the cult.

Well-meaning? I was treated like a toilet trout for having long hair at church when I was a kid.

Fuggem.

I had an alcoholic client come one Sunday and members looked down at him as he was not well-dressed, etc. Same reaction to his girlfriend who was slightly disheveled. He died several weeks later due to a combination of drinking and an apartment which had no air conditioning in temps over 90. The funeral was held in an Episcopal Church where the clergy knew him and his difficulties in life. His children did not even attend. But there were a fair number of people there who could overlook his imperfections.

I'm glad that your client had a kind, dignified send-off.

I had a son who didn't fit the conformity mold and I stopped forcing him to go to church when I saw how very unhappy he was and the way the other kids treated him. He had two other friends in the ward who also didn't fit into the mold. They became outcasts and eventually all became inactive. In fact the treatment of our son was the first crack in the illusion of the "true church" and after a period of time led us out of the church as we decerned the outright lies upon which the church is based.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/28/2014 09:10PM by michaelc1945.

Either the members treated me like shite, or I imagined my adolescence.

Either way, I distinctly recall LDS shite.

Shiite Mormons are Mormons who worship Mormon royal blood and the blood of the newly ascended to Mormon royalty.

Sunni Mormons are Mormons who are the most likely to be involved in splinter grouping activities. They worship the big dead 3 versus the big living 3 who are Joseph Smith, Brigham Young, and John Taylor.

Shiite Mormons are usually worse to interact with because of their delusional cognitive dissonance involved with the big dead 3. But Sunni Mormons can be worse depending upon how 19th Century they are in their values. They can be much worse.