I think it's definitely nice and helpful, but I wouldn't lump it in the same category as "service for the needy," which Mormons tend to do. I don't see them doing much for non-members and helping members can be sketchy. Utah is the state that makes the most "charitable donations," but we all know the reality of that one. It's just frosting on a turd. They'll pat their backs on service to the people who don't necessarily need it (look at how great we are), but they have no use for members who truly do need the extra help.
oh boy isn't that the truth. Years ago I lived next to non member elderly disabled shut-in. She had years worth of trash piled up in her house. My sister had asked me if I had any service projects for her group of YW and I suggested they come help with some trash removal. During the project I overheard the girls complaining about how 'hard' the work was. Also overheard my sister say she'd never ask me for service project ideas again.
During my time as a missionary, there was a woman who lived with her husband and handicapped son in the swamps in north Florida.
She was socially awkward and a hoarder. They finally activated her with love bombing. The reason for the efforts as to get her son baptized. As soon as that was accomplished, she became a burden: she had to be picked up, needed food orders, etc
A few weeks later, the RS president, in an effort to get at her, organized a surprise house leaning party. They showed up while she was at work and her husband was home.
We helped.
The single-wide where they lived was filled with garbage, food, rats, thousands of roaches. It as one of the most disgusting things I have ever seen. These southern belles decided was was to be thrown away (most everything).
This woman was traumatized and never came back to church. We were then tasked with reactivating them, after violating her trust and humiliating her.
A few years back, 15 years after my mission, I stopped by that branch on vacation to say hi. Surprisingly, her handicapped son was there. He had been given rides to church every Sunday for years.
I have found that Mormons have a social surface tension that is usually a front. All types of things happen when you show up to their home to do service.
Oh "service opportunities" with mormons does not stop at just cleaning another member's house, it now includes cleaning businesses after they have been sold to new owners. From our ward RS over the summer:
"[Name redacted] NEEDS HELP MOVING HER BUSINESS!
Here is the information pertaining to helping [Name redacted] at her business today, Tuesday with a slight chance of Wednesday/. [Name redacted] needs help cleaning her business which is being passed on to a new owner.
Hours and days of help: Today Monday until 4:00 pm Tuesday noon until 4:00 pm Possibly Wed. Call [Name redacted] first to see if help is still needed.
[Name and contact info redacted].
It would be helpful to bring some cleaning supplies, Broom, dustpan, cloths, comet."
Not only were they calling it a "service opportunity", those who chose to help were also asked to provide cleaning supplies. We live in a fairly affluent area and there was no reason that this sister could not afford to pay people to clean her business.
eunice Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Oh "service opportunities" with mormons does not > stop at just cleaning another member's house, it > now includes cleaning businesses after they have > been sold to new owners. From our ward RS over the > summer: > > " NEEDS HELP MOVING HER BUSINESS! > Give me a break...plus, I'm sure she could deduct the cost of hiring professional cleaners as a business expense on her taxes.
if you are assigned to do and feel obligated to provide it (don't feel like you can question it or decline).
I'm just saying that because sometimes in the church, I participated in "service" that included making meals or doing childcare for people who took unfair advantage. Once, I babysat kids all day for a new lady I didn't know, who was scheduled to be induced to give birth. She left the kids all day, and then picked them up, still pregnant, in the evening. Apparently, she felt like she might as well use my free services for he whole day, without asking if I was okay with that. I didn't sit for her again.
Yes, there are people who genuinely need help, especially the old or disabled and it's humane and uplifting to everyone involved to help them. But there are people who milk the system, or use people to do stuff they should do for themselves. One thing that used to bug me was making dinners for extended periods when there was an able-bodied husband in the house. Can the man NOT function in the kitchen well enough to put in a frozen dinner? Dinners are a nice gesture, but sometimes it went overboard, and to be honest, when I was the recipient, we got WAY too much food, and sometimes it was a big pain returning dishes to the owners. It was almost harder than putting a frozen dinner in. It was a big effort all the way around for them to plan means, and bring them in.
I don't like the culture where you don't feel free to say "no".
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/22/2014 12:31PM by imaworkinonit.
This was one of my major pet peeves when in the church...performing any service for able bodied members. A few examples:
1) My mother is the biggest push over ever. She will say "yes" to anything and they know it. One time a couple in the ward, semi-active, and 20 years her younger, and their two teenage children, had hoarded and messed up their house beyond recognition. It could have been on the TV show. Clothes everywhere. A total mess. The RS Prez phone my mother and said, "Sister Johnson, we have a special assignment for you, which we as a presidency have prayed about, and the Lord is asking you - in order to reactivate this family, we would ask you to clean their house for a fresh start. We feel and the Lord has blessed you with organizational talents that will help this family." My mother spent two weeks, 10 hours a day, cleaning their home while they were at work and school, under the premise that God wanted her to do this."
2) Bishop Sithead wanted us to clean and disinfect a inactive members home, with 7 adults living their. A home that was roach infested, mold infected, and mouse infested. He felt "helping them" would bring them back.
I need my house deep cleaned. It would be a good service project for Sister Missionaries once a month or whenever a new set arrives. Our house keeper could just do the normal cleaning. It would save me some money plus the sister missionaries would do service and learn how to clean toilets for the lord. Also they would learn our to clean their own house when they get married and start pumping out kids.
Someone I know was living in a ward where one of the members was having their kitchen 'remodeled'. The ward was asking RS to provide meals for them for extended periods of time when virtually no progress was being made, and they had other means to provide meals (I think there was a basement kitchen and a few able bodied adults living there). Needless to say, this person didn't feel free to express their annoyance--to the ward leaders, at least--at being asked to provide meals for this situation.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/22/2014 02:03PM by imaworkinonit.
Helping a fellow ward member move and/or clean their house is certainly a nice thing to do but Mormons it shouldn't be mandatory and the shouldn't pat themselves on the back and consider their "service" for the month unless the people truly are elderly or needy.
I see it no different than helping a friend move. I wouldn't chalk it up as charity or community service.
It's great to have a network to get help if you actually need it, but it sucks that people are taking unfair advantage of this. just wow.
They're always asking if I need help with anything, and I always say no. Well, I did joke around, Sure come on over and clean my house! They're were all like, okay! I had to say that I was kidding and didn't really want anyone to show up :0