First time poster here. Member for double-digit years, convert as young adult, temple marriage, young kids. Spouse is a "chapel mormon" -- attends on Sundays, but has no problem missing church often, no big callings, etc., but defends TSCC when difficult issues come up. Common responses:
"I wasn't there",
"we don't know everything about how God works",
"I didn't receive the revelation, so I'm not sure how it came about",
"we just have to have faith",
and my personal fave: "who am i to say how things should work/whether that behavior is okay/etc.?"

Excuse after excuse after excuse for the inexcusable. After years of saying certain aspects of doctrine are not okay, the way that women/young women are treated is not okay, the blind obedience is creepy, the micromanaging of people's lives is appalling, etc., I started doing actual research about the origins of the church.

Surprise, surprise. The missionaries walked into my living room years ago, and from there everyone has just been lying their behinds off. The defenses I hear are that it is not "lying" exactly, but the circular reasoning and double-talk is just beyond ridiculous.

My children were put on the records of the church without a blessing (that's an entirely different topic), and without my knowledge or consent. Apparently, spouse consented without informing me. None are old enough for baptism.

I would like to ask what the effects will be for my kids to remain on the church's records, but without ordinances performed?

Spouse is opposed to name removal. This may change later in life, but for now, I've got to navigate this. There is no way in hell that I'm allowing some of the screwed-up stuff to get near my kids. There will be no chanting to follow the false prophets, "interviews" with minor children behind closed doors without a parent present, or teaching them that they are walking uteruses or 19 year old salesmen for this organization. I'm so done. So much of what they do is creepy & invasive, and I have always put my foot down and had very clear boundaries. Now that we have kids, for some reason everyone assumes that I will just let the church teach them whatever the church wants....um, no.

Will the church harass my kids until their names are officially removed? Another legitimate concern: can spouse have my kids baptised without my knowledge or consent, if I'm not with them every second?

Thanks for any insight.

My understanding, from the experience of several people on this board, is that the church will go to great lengths to "encourage" your children to become active members, whether you like it or not. Name removal is probably the only solution, but I don't know that it really works as well as one would hope.

You're in a very difficult situation (I know that you know this) with your spouse. I would do almost anything that I could to keep the kids from getting involved in TSCC as there are so many reports of church members trying to undermine a non-believing parent's authority with children. Is there any chance of non-Mormon counseling with your spouse? Life is much easier if you can agree on some basic guidelines for how to deal with your children as regards religion.

Otherwise, you need to be very careful to educate your children about how the church tries to influence people to join, even against their parent's wishes, so that they will recognize it when they see it, and not be confused.

From what I've seen and heard, the church does not have to have both parents permission for baptism, but I'm sure that those who have been bishops or ward clerks can inform you for sure on this point.

I personally can vouch that the church will go to horrendous, unimaginable lengths to be influential in your child's life. I encourage you to not underestimate what they are capable of doing.
Some members are so wanting to be the one who saves the lost child, to get the gold star for being a missionary that any common sense, courtesy and decency they might possess goes out the window. Be a vigilant parent always, just like you sound like you are now.

Welcome to the board. Yes, you can expect that the church will be going after your children. Missionaries in particular target the children of inactive members once those children hit 9 years of age without being baptized. The Primary will likely try to love-bomb your children into activity. Members may stop by and insist that they drive your children to church. We have heard of all of these instances on this board. It is best to be ready for these scenarios so that you have a response for them when and if the time comes.

Keep reading and posting on this board. You will learn a lot here. It's a great community.

Welcome. We see a lot of posts like yours.

Pat yourself on the back for snapping out of it.

Your kids are on their membership roles in some form as children of record or whatever. The church thinks it needs to keep track of people on their lists.

After I resigned, even years later the church was calling relatives in other states trying to get an address for my kids.

My kids periodically get contacted by Mormon do-gooders. My kids (now adults) treat them like telemarketers. Mentally immunize your kids so they know how to firmly say no to salesmen for things they don't want or need.

You'll be amazed at how deep the rabbit hole of BS goes.

Do your best to draw a line in the sand with your spouse about kids being baptized.

I don't think kids should be allowed to make this decision until they're 18. Try to come to that agreement long before the time arrives.

If someone is a convert and married, and one spouse is not joining the church, the convert needs the consent of the other spouse in order to be baptised.

And if the parents are not members and a convert is under the age of majority, they cannot baptise without parental consent.

Based on that, I wonder if something similar could apply in your situation. Such as, if you had your name removed from membership, do they then need your consent to have your children baptised?