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Posted by: generationofvipers ( )
Date: September 20, 2014 02:43AM

A Quote from President Monson:

It is time for all to stand up for the family. You women whose husbands no longer believe, and you men whose wives no longer believe, should never threaten them with divorce or loss of your love and companionship. This is contrary to the stated purpose of the LDS church: to unite families. We implore you to never let differences of opinion regarding matters of LDS theology and faith divide your home. To do so is a sin, and will affect your standing in the eyes of the church. We believe that the Lord taught that loving others is the great commandment, and that the pain caused to good men, women, and children when families are destroyed over matters of personal conscience is a legacy of shame that the leaders of this church must now beg forgiveness for. We know that tithing revenues would be greater if the threat of familial shunning hung over member's heads at all times, but the price for this mammon is simply too high. Love your wives and husbands, who are people with real feelings, as much as or more than you love the LDS church, which is a tax-exempt religious organization with no feelings and toward which there can be no moral obligation. Thank you my dear brothers and sisters.


From, "The Family: A Sacred Trust."
General Conference October 2014
Not

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Posted by: nonsequiter ( )
Date: September 20, 2014 02:47AM

It's completely ridiculous he would even had to say that.

Edit: OMG, its late. Totally got me... I was wondering why no one was talking about it.

Dang, you imitate well.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 09/20/2014 03:30AM by nonsequiter.

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Posted by: johnny bugeyes ( )
Date: September 20, 2014 02:48AM

Shit! You had me...I was like awesome, I can show this to my wife and all will be well.

Jerk...

Nice one tho'
:)

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Posted by: rt ( )
Date: September 20, 2014 06:45AM

Let's just float this as an internet meme and see how the Mormons have to explain why their Beloved Leader did NOT say this.

Maybe put in the words "tender" and "lad" in there somewhere, though...

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Posted by: anagrammy ( )
Date: September 20, 2014 08:17AM


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Posted by: anonnon ( )
Date: September 20, 2014 08:34AM

My thoughts, in order:
Dang, that sounds Christ like!
Oh. There's the money thing - can't ignore the real focus. Typical.
Wait, what's the date on that?
Oh my, I just got punked by an expert!

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Posted by: DWaters ( )
Date: September 20, 2014 09:05AM

Well what struck me is this:

Why would a "tax-exempt religious organization with no feelings and toward which there can be no moral obligation" need a prophet, seer, revelator? It would need a CEO/CFO. And the bottom line concern is tithing and not the condition of the family or even the spiritual well being of the member or non-member.

Translation-be nice to your non-believing spouse so we can get more tithing for the balance sheets. Malls won't build themselves.

On the mall subject...God told JS to build the Nauvoo hotel and other things. Where is the revelation About the new mall. I would like to see it.

Could Terrible Tommy be admitting the sham???



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/20/2014 09:05AM by muddyw1071.

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Posted by: caffiend ( )
Date: September 20, 2014 10:36AM

"... when families are destroyed over matters of personal conscience is a legacy of shame that the leaders of this church must now beg forgiveness for..."

Cults never admit they are wrong, let alone "beg forgiveness." That's when my eyebrow rose high, Spock-like. Cults stop preaching certain things, a form of self-serving benign neglect, and hope it's conveniently forgotten or overlooked, such as the doctrine of eternal progression.

But actually repent of a false doctrine or wrong practice? "Beg forgiveness?" Nawww!

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Posted by: Trueness in ( )
Date: September 20, 2014 10:55AM

Hahahah like this would ever happen. Look at the date of the "quote". We should re-post it so often that the church has to disavow it!!!!! Then they could explain why they DIDNT say it!

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Posted by: anymoo ( )
Date: September 20, 2014 01:21PM

+1 internets
Do eeeet! you know you wanna

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Posted by: exdrymo ( )
Date: September 20, 2014 11:04AM

aha! well done!

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Posted by: blueorchid ( )
Date: September 20, 2014 11:09AM

I was about to look at the calendar to see if it was April first.

That was good. My jaw was on the floor.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/20/2014 11:09AM by blueorchid.

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Posted by: thedesertrat1 ( )
Date: September 20, 2014 01:52PM

It is not yet October 2014

So how can this quote come from a conference that has not yet taken place?

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Posted by: Book of Mordor ( )
Date: September 20, 2014 03:12PM

Think, dude.

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Posted by: White Cliffs ( )
Date: September 20, 2014 02:07PM

That was a wonderful hoax, a masterpiece of the satirical art.

I started to doubt my doubts when I read "beg for forgiveness," and then when "tithing revenues" were mentioned, I knew it had to be fake. They NEVER mention tithing revenues, only the blessings of paying tithing.

Somehow I skimmed over the October 2014 part, I guess I assumed it was October 2013.

lol good one

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Posted by: masonfree ( )
Date: September 20, 2014 02:57PM

Good quote! So good Monson should say it or something similar!

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Posted by: Book of Mordor ( )
Date: September 20, 2014 03:11PM

From one known to post a satirical piece on occasion, this is a good one. A couple of giveaways, but subtle enough for some to overlook.

"the price for this mammon is simply too high" - LOL

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Posted by: ificouldhietokolob ( )
Date: September 20, 2014 05:18PM

"We believe that the Lord taught that loving others is the great commandment, and that the pain caused to good men, women, and children when families are destroyed over matters of personal conscience is a legacy of shame that the leaders of this church must now beg forgiveness for."

Damned right.
Like when my mother's bishop in 1975 encouraged her to leave and divorce my inactive dad, since "clearly he's never going to be the strong priesthood holder in your home that's needed."

Now just get him to *actually* admit it...:)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/20/2014 05:19PM by ificouldhietokolob.

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Posted by: ozpoof ( )
Date: September 20, 2014 05:39PM

I read it in his voice with him shhhh-ing his S sounds through his fantastic dentures.

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Posted by: donbagley ( )
Date: September 20, 2014 11:54PM

Very droll. I liked it.

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Posted by: GNPE ( )
Date: September 20, 2014 11:57PM

Church First.

Families: sometimes, but don't make a big deal about them.

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Posted by: beyondashadow ( )
Date: September 21, 2014 12:37AM

I didn't get through the OP first line before calling it a spoof.

Kinda curious how the seasoned exmo brain is simply unable to connect logical, sensible, loving, Christ-like attitudes and actions with .... with .... who? .... Moron Church Leadership.

Brethren, we've got you all dialed in. If any of you EVER do anything even remotely similar to what would Jesus do in the same situation, we'll Dial-911 immediately and get medical attention for you for the stroke or aneurysm that just went off in your cranium ... causing you to ACTUALLY DO what Jesus would do.



Edited 5 time(s). Last edit at 09/21/2014 02:52AM by beyondashadow.

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Posted by: verilyverily ( )
Date: September 21, 2014 03:25AM

"We know that tithing revenues would be greater if the threat of familial shunning hung over member's heads at all times" - WTF does this mean?
REvenue is NEVER far from his mind is it?

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Posted by: exdrymo ( )
Date: September 21, 2014 03:53AM

Well done!

Ya know...I wouldn't be surprised if there was a similar speech sitting in a file somewhere in the COB.

Kind of like how the Pentagon has plans drawn up in advance for all sorts of war scenarios.

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Posted by: beyondashadow ( )
Date: September 21, 2014 04:00AM

Our Fab15 isn't even CAPABLE of thinking those kinds of thoughts.

Ya know ... the kinds of thoughts where SOMEONE ELSE'S well-being - other than your own - actually comes up in your psyche for actual pondering and consideration.

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Posted by: exdrymo ( )
Date: September 21, 2014 04:29AM

Agreed. In my imagination, no apostle is even aware of this file.

It's in a speech writer's office along with the speech explaining why all the temples are being sold.

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Posted by: generationofvipers ( )
Date: September 21, 2014 08:54AM

Sorry to anyone who thought it was real and that it would help them in their struggle to be accepted and loved by TBM family. I mean that.

I know how healing it would be if he really said those things. I wrote it because of my own struggles.

If this church were true, it would not cause so much pain in families.

And even if we forget questions of truth, if this church cared as much about people as it does about growth and power and revenue, it would have made that statement long ago.

It's amazing that it hasn't. In my heart I still hope that the leaders of the LDS are at least good people, but this exact question is the hardest evidence to reconcile with that hope.

The church actively contributes to the destruction of many otherwise-good families. Destroys them. Ruins lives. Hurts men, women, and children. And its leadership knows very well that it does it.

Yet it does NOTHING of substance to stop the carnage. How is this possible? The silence here is DEAFENING.

If evil exists, and has anything to do with causing pain and suffering, then the LDS church is truly, deeply evil.

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Posted by: DWaters ( )
Date: September 21, 2014 09:04AM

Lol!!! Good one.

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Posted by: moremany ( )
Date: September 23, 2014 10:30PM

He does need better writers

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Posted by: madalice ( )
Date: September 23, 2014 10:35PM

Maybe the people who are assigned to read the writings of the satanic RFMers will steal some of this and send it off to monson's writers. I'm being overly optimistic this evening.

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Posted by: moremany ( )
Date: September 23, 2014 10:51PM

But I'm wrong for them - I'd tell the truth.

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Posted by: snowball ( )
Date: September 24, 2014 01:30PM

I was thinking it might be real until I got to the part about leaders of the church needing to beg for forgiveness. We know it will be a cold day in hell with a bunch of pigs flying around when that happens.

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Posted by: CA girl ( )
Date: September 24, 2014 01:42PM

Remember when we had a rule that a person had to put "parody" or "humor" in the subject line about stuff like this? Because while posts like this have an important teaching message, it's annoying to start reading something that's just a work of fiction, a misrepresentation of what the subject line implies it is. We should go back to warning people - especially those of us with limited time to only read the most important stuff.

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Posted by: generationofvipers ( )
Date: September 25, 2014 12:19AM

Sorry CA girl. Never heard of the rule but I would be happy to follow it.

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Posted by: Heretic 2 ( )
Date: September 25, 2014 12:28AM

Wow! Great quote! Something like that could make people "feel the spirit."

I think generationofvipers should be the next prophet.

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