My sister and brother in law pulled my niece from public school because she was being bullied, as she is Chinese, extremely petite (kids will literally pick her up and carry her, which she hates), very outgoing and a good athlete (very fast, she beats boys at basketball, which they don't like). She is also a major drama queen at age 10.

She had been involved with a trio of girls and she would gang up with one of the girls and be mean to the third one. The third girl was just an emotional mess and her parents were not the kind to take her to a therapist. Her parents divorced, her mother was financially strapped, she married again and had a baby (and is still financially strapped). I am sure she is ignored at home, she would see me and run up to me and say Hi, Aunt Raven (since that is what my niece called me). When she was not aligned with the other girl, that girl would be mean to my niece in obnoxious ways. One time they were having dinner together with their dads, and the girls went to get a drink from the self serve fountain. My niece sat her drink down to get a lid and the other girl dumped her drink down the drain.

My niece is now in a small school that, as my sister says, is run by ex-hippies. They emphasize writing and creative arts. After school she gets voice lessons in the school and will be Willy Wonka in the school play. They school makes sure that the children respect each other and there is zero tolerance for bad behaviour. A staff member will speak with each child separately, and then both together to resolve the problem.

The mean girl stuff will be nipped in the bud, and she gets to be a drama queen in choir and in plays.

THe school costs 10K a year, but her parents figure it is worth it (and they inherited money when my brother in law's mother died), so that she does not develop into an out of control teenager.

my husband's family had a poem on the wall from the forties or fifties, that children treat others they way they have been treated.

NOT NECESARILY by family at all! Some bully prevention programs mention the greater risk is those who received bullying- to be a bully or act out after being bullied and repressed or humiliated.

I'm glad your family got her out of the environment where she was being bullied, and found her a better situation/ environment. because seriously, being around mean people makes people meaner.