My 6 kids, wife, and I are living with family right now. Our home went through a foreclosure. Fortunately, we're both working now, but we're paying rent to the family with whom we're staying and we're living paycheck to paycheck. We're having a very difficult time finding anyone who will take a family our size and with bad credit to boot.
Are there any government assistance programs designed for people who are in our shoes? We checked with Section 8 housing and they said they have so many people on their list that they don't even have a waiting list.
Family is asking us to move out soon; dropping hints about places for rent, Habitat for Humanity, etc. I have applied at one apartment that bases rent on income, but they've got a waiting list.
The Morg refuses to help at all. Any suggestions?

The state welfare agency?

look in a different city or state?

Trailer park. I'm not kidding.

;o)

family.
ask them to put a double wide trailor on their farm for you & your family.

or put in another house on a lot for you.

did you know, that is how family, the soul of family got thorugh the dustbowl that didnt' die & survived getting here to Fresno or Bakersfield? not a Mormon style temple gig - the real thing- where family didn't let family down.

you don't need to feel anything for worthiness you've got the key you belong- you are family. You contribute rent. you are giving everything you can. It isn't easy to have the fine gifts of all those grand children or nieces and nephews to brag about- to enjoy- all those celebrations- without putting up with vacuuming up after them, cleaning up and committing to them- as your nieces and nephews or your grandkids.

don't know anyone who owns a dairy do you? dairy workers get dairy houses free rent, utilities paid. (its usually a family thing or family acquaintances get in.)

without family we've got nothing. one check from straight out homeless. & that's the truth. When my house foreclosed on my adult daughter drove out (I was so much in shock) craigs list places that would take dogs, emailed set up visits in two days did more than my frozen brain could do, walked through three places & the interviews with me lending their credibility, their financial success, their developed poise to a moment I was too low to interview for a place. My adult kids stepping in to the crisis generated a place to rent for my dogs & myself. So without family- to fill in gaps in talents for me I'd be sunk.

Its way better for the kids to stay together. despite how rough, apparently no body treats kids as well than their own family.
I know some board members don't believe that, but apparently despite tragic abusers, over all, apparently, children are treated better by family than strangers treat other peoples' kids, with loyalty, caring- that extends beyond themselves- as they care for themselves they see themselves in this family in these kids. You won't get that in fostercare or a group home its not the same. People dont' look like you. Like you know you're family, fourth cousin, great aunt, whatever, its family.

the greatest compliment someone ever paid to me is said, Ruthie, you're just like my sister. If I had a sister, I wish you were my sister.

Don't walk out because it feels awkward. Sit it out. Come to the table, make them part of planning the solution. Make them part of the phone calls, finding places, make the budget transparent make them (the other adults) part of the planning budgeting finding planning implementing positive change or leaving things just the same.

hell yea. work on increasing their commitment to family & your kids are family. & those six kids are not living on the street in a shelter or foster care because their dumb a-- wanted a more convenient couch on which to watch TV. if you get me.

You have the right to survive. Your kids have the right to survive.

you say, this is your blood. you call them on that. this is decency.

there really are people dying on the street. YOu say to your mother: I am your blood. They *these six children* are your blood.

you call them on that. It really is about living or dying & your children deserve, by their blood birthright to be raised in family, together.

call your family on it.

& don't feel guilty about it. quoting my spouse: 'bad time selfishness" people putting spouses to divorce during cancer treatment to cut their financial losses due to escalating medical expense letting the mother of their children die or homeless & happily finding a sugar babe - some televised mediated satiation has placed a self serving hedonism competing with loyality replacing decency.

do not wait for it- they may forget- build demand cajole those four walls weren't built for a big TV. The game room & hobby space are gonna ring hollow & that dining room table that looked good for guests- si isn't gonna set well this Thanksgiving if those children are missing. Can't get em c an't forget em- can't interview back for em can't make all the parenting meetings for em can't reach all of them- splitinto so many foster homes about the tenth night you're in a shelter

family would never let you sleep in a car or drive to a shelter with them - they will search Craigs lists for trailors and double wides and places to put them, they will not
not sleep with themselves calmly, they will not swallow turkey at thanksgiving without indigestion for EVER if they allow those six children onto the street or into foster care.

great game room huh? rings kinda hollow. & all the kids have gone away into group homes for big ones and foster homes for littles got their own games going on. Enjoy that empty dining room. & sleep well.

HELL yes- guilt them. you have the right to survive.

I agree with so much you've written here and also feel like it's simply about money and possessions for them. They're TBMs by they're not willing to sacrifice their time, money, or talents for their own family. But of course they're performing their callings in TSCC to a T.

That is fascinating to me. You do realize that some families do not value "family" in the same way that you do, right? I would never call on my family to help me because I don't believe I could count on them. They would either agree to it and then back out later, or hold it over my head until they felt they'd been justly compensated. Or just guilt me forever about it. Accepting help from my family would also open the door to giving them free rein to judge, judge, judge and dictate how I live my life.

Nope. Nope.Nope.Nope.Nope. Not going to happen.

I haven't always been credit-checked when looking for rentals. My issue was always too many pets. Try a smaller-scale owner/landlord instead of those huge mega-complexes that do things like check credit. I rented from a lady who inherited a second house from her mom, so she just kept it as a rental property. She even took the deposits in monthly installments.

Bottom line, everything is negotiable. Keep looking and ask the family you're staying with, if they want you out so badly, do they have any leads you could follow up on? Like, get them to help you.

"A substantial number of families end up in bankruptcy because of their $300+ monthly car payment and associated $200+ monthly insurance and financing expenses."

This is nonsense. Most bankruptcies are a result of overwhelming medical bills because our healthcare system is crap. Don't blame the most useful tool for getting and keeping employment. A beater car is not a better investment than a car on which you're still making payments. Because the making-payments car is probably newer, more reliable, and needs fewer repairs. When the beater breaks down, repairs could be out of your reach financially and then you're sunk -- stuck with a dead car and no way to look for work or get there if you have it.

I just think that's terrible advice.

I work with poverty data for a living. I have reviewed Elizabeth Warren's Harvard-era work on bankruptcy and regularly analyze the assets and liabilities of low-income families in my area.

You are correct that between 30 and 50 percent of bankruptcies in this country are caused by medical debt. However, car debt is a large contributor to bankruptcy as well.

There are several reasons for this. Many people take out car loans when they are employed, then lose their jobs and can't pay. The finance industry has done a great job of locking people into five- and six-year loan terms, which would have been unthinkable 20 years ago. This gives them a lower monthly payment but a much longer timeline to worry about paying that bill.

In recent years, there has been an uptick in people keeping their cars even as their houses were foreclosed on. The calculation is often "I can't afford my mortgage and I'm going to lose the house, but I have to get to work so I need to keep the car." Some people move into their cars when they lose their housing.

Another issue is the buy-here-pay-here car lots. DO NOT buy a car from one of these places. They use the exact same subprime lending model as the corrupt mortgage brokers. They target people with bad credit and sell them cars with outrageous monthly payments. THe car price is low because the dealers know that the buyers will most likely fall behind on payments and the dealers can repossess the car. They make money selling the same cars over and over again.

Anyone thinking of walking away from an expensive car loan and buying a "beater" from the low-cost dealer down the street with a buy-here-pay-here model will probably be charged as much or more for their "cheaper" car as for their original good one.

This won't work for the OP, but when I was broke and something had to give, I got a roommate and moved to an apartment close to my job, then gave up car ownership altogether for several years. I lived in an area with substandard public transit, so I was very isolated for a long time. It was hard, but I was able to pay my rent.

Hey!
Families are flipping forever!! How does your family think the celestial kingdom will work out? Aren't we all suppose to be together forever?

I really am sorry for what you are going through.

First, trim all unnecessary expenses. Have a car payment? Sell the car, buy a beater Honda or Toyota. A substantial number of families end up in bankruptcy because of their $300+ monthly car payment and associated $200+ monthly insurance and financing expenses.

In order to get back on your feet, you have to do at least one of two things. Either make more money, or spend less. On the spend less side of the equation, there's the aforementioned get-rid-of-the-cars suggestion. If you're both working, create a budget. Use something like mint.com or moneydesktop to track your expenses and see where you can cut. If possible, see a professional that can help you with your budget.

On the earning more side, you're both working, which is fantastic. You can try selling plasma (which will be good for $400/month if you both do it). Try something like Amazon's Mechanical Turk or any of the online contract sites. Toss all of the extra income into a savings account. In a few months, you should have the first month/last month/deposit for a move out on your own.

Can I ask where you're located? If you're in Utah County, there are a few lesser-known housing complexes and agents that rent to larger families with lower incomes, I'd be happy to list a few suggestions.

I've done all that. Car is paid off, short sold house, I have a post-grad degree. We have a buttload of medical bills, we have two children with severe medical problems (one autistic another with kidney disease). We're not in Utah County. I'd like to say where we're located, but you'd be able to match it up with my regular alias I use on this board. I'll just say we're in Utah but not on the Wasatch Front.

If they are hospital expenses see if you qualify for the hospital to wave your fee. They have an allotment set aside for this,

Call your local congressperson's office; they often have a more complete list of low-income rentals in their districts.

Big complexes and property management companies usually have rigid requirements for credit and income (usually three times the rent required income). Sometimes, however, private landlords will take chances that big companies will not. You might try looking for rentals on craigslist that are listed by the owners themselves, and send them a detailed email about yourself, listing things that you have on the plus side: You are mature, with a family, looking for long-term stability, take good care of property, etc., rather than a bunch of roommates looking for a party house. That can look pretty good to a landlord who's had to relist and repair every year or so. I once had a landlord who rented to me when I was out of work; they're few and far between, but they're out here.

I'd also consider where you live and see if you can move to an area where the cost of homes/rent is less. We've lived in the SLC valley for 10 years now and are accustomed to the high rents in our area. We were looking at real estate in Logan (two hours north) and I was just shocked by how affordable homes in that area are. Also going back to school might not be a bad idea.

I'm thinking of this, but right now the expense of moving is too great. Maybe after tax time.

wow, you mean LDS INC. would not let you stay in one of the many vacant condos at their condo tower at City Creek Center?

5 billion $ spent to protect the atmosphere at temple square, but no room at the inn for you!

Huh..... Imagine that!

(NOT to make fun of your plight, but I do think it is a point that needs to be made about LDS INC priorities, so this is more on topic than not. Its brutal out there, best wishes to you. )

Post on craigslist. I have a MIL and I don't post it, I just look on rooms wanted when it is vacant. Someone out there has something and it looks to family as if you are working towards something.

Understand it will take time. I was in your position a decade ago, and now I am semi retired at 46.

First of all understand it will take some time. It will take a couple of years to get in a decent position financially.

Understand that the American style of business is always to blame the debtor. Understand under this system that corporations profits were privatized, while debts were actually paid by taxpayer, whether under the bailouts or under section 8 etc.

Do not buy into it. Financial institutions are the enemy and should always be considered so. Use a local community bank (Not Zions!) get a personal relationship with the lending staff. They are not your friends, always remember that, but they can be used.

Spend some time at debtorboards.com. Learn. Under the Fair Credit Reporting Act, basically, if debt is unsecured, creditor will not be paid. Period. The FCRA is a huge tool for anyone that has had financial problems. Elizabeth Warren wrote most of it, and should be considered a national hero for it.

Are you handy with home improvements? There are a lot of homes with problems that people cannot get a buyer financed without large expensive repairs. This is particularly true with income property such as multi family rental units. Owner financing is used often in these cases (seller carries the note) so the property does not have to go through the inspection process, and your credit does not go through the inspection process.

Be proactive. If you find a property that you think this might work on, make the offer that you are willing to give. Do it in terms like, "I will make an offer of 163K, 5k down, owner carries the note for 7 years at (x) interest, and there will be a balloon payment at that time."

Take a couple of the units, knock the wall out between them and you have a place for your family and rents coming in to make the payments.

A few hours googling, and some strategic planning will go a long way.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 08/15/2013 12:06PM by deco.

http://www.hacsl.org/
Of course you know that there is also low income and affordable income housing also. I put in a link to one such site. Go to HUD and they tell you. Its based on family size and income.

Am I the only person here who thinks family has no obligation to help other family members? I mean, I think it's great when they want to help, but I wouldn't feel obligated to help anyone just because we share DNA, and I certainly don't feel entitled to help just because we're related. That's just silly..

I agree, being family is a terrible reason to help people or have a relationship with people you otherwise wouldn't. Just because the same two people boinked each other to make you doesn't mean diddly in the real world. Family are often the ones that screw you over worst.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/15/2013 04:14PM by newatthis.

A. I feel no obligation whatsoever to help any of my family members. For the most part, those who might be in need of help are in that position because of poor judgement and a series of really bad decisions. Those bad decisions are not my problems to solve.

B. Family is the other F-word to me. My family wouldn't even help me pay for college. They would never help me dig out of a hole I'd dug myself into. Some families are like that.

C. I've always heard you should never lend money/do business with family or friends.

Mormon doctrine expressly states: Families are Forever...

so it isn't unreasonable to think that family will help out if in a bind- not moocher family members, but those like the OP's family who are doing their best too.

Check with the HUD office in your state/city. You can get housing based on income. There are housing options that you will be able to afford and live on your own.

Section 8 /sliding scale income housing. Emergency benefits funding via state. Job service postings at what might be called the Utah Bureau of Employment Services or similar. Find anyway Tonkin trade income, dog walker, advert/news paper deliver/market researcher or demo-er in a grocery store or Costco.

We've talked about this.mormonism develops artificial shallow rules following them rewards and teaches shallow self serving psychopathic tendencies.... Where serving others is often about Looking good a facade not a developed sense of human decency. Several folk doctrines emphasize cruelty lack of caring decency in the name of keeping the commandments ...getting a recommend to socially score as a carrot for conduct a choices generates yet still more uncaring shallow self serving choices with commandment based conduct connected primarily positive external rewards

So they are raised to be psychopaths at worse self serving at the expense of others if it makes them look better at church. Ad
Ironically doing service to look good not out of inherent decency

And you can get this....

So seriously your children deserve life out of foster care and not be split up at a homeless shelter. So develope your family members conscience.

For the highest good of all those involved.


Stand up for your needs develop their conscience. Make them part of the solution seeking. Seriously.

Most Latino families would embrace you and assist you and assume you will help them when they need it. They really do take care of each other.

some dustbowl white families are the same. I have seen teens come 2000 miles (Great Lakes to CA) on a bus to stay with family in my valley town with siblings when parents lost job. They were welcomed.

Google 'Family Promise'. Wising you well.

Call 2-1-1

Look for secondary jobs as either Apartment Resident Managers or Storage Unit managers. The quarters might be cramped for awhile, but you can save a buttload of money by living free, a small stipend to boot and it doesn't take your entire day. You can still work full-time elsewhere.

Just a thought.