I have been out of the church for about 4 years now. I didn't have a lot of family ties so it was much easier for me to leave than for most others. There was a very close LDS friend I had that I wanted to share my discoveries with as soon as I felt certain the church was false, manipulative, etc. But no matter what questions I posed or evidence I presented, she would not admit that the church is not perfect in every way. Her family is about as involved as you can be.

I feel personally harmed by the church and could not reconcile maintaining a friendship with someone who denied the source of much pain in my life, so we have been out of touch for a few years now. However, I heard that she is back from a mission and already engaged. I guess my question is, is there any reason to think someone like this will ever change? I still have this tiny hope that this person, who is super intelligent but whose entire life revolves around the church, will someday realize it's all a lie. I think the church has hurt her and her family in ways they don't/won't see. I feel sad that she may be hurting without realizing why, and that she may never understand the pain all this has caused me.

Probably any attempt you make will be written off now that you've fallen under satan's grasp (her opinion). My experience, the harder you push and try to demonstrate (with fact) the falsehood of the church, the harder she digs in and relies on her "feelings" from God confirming "the truth".

Good luck though.

Thank you, that makes sense. That's how it was when we last talked. She "just knew" somehow that everything I said was wrong. She feels bad for me for losing sight of the "truth," and I guess I feel bad for her for not being able to see the truth. It seems we're at an impasse, and it sounds like it's going to be permanent.

Better to be happy or surprised if someone does happen to leave and never, never, never, continually hold out hope. Sometimes miracles do happen but that isn't an everyday happening.

I will just have to figure out how to let this go and if there's good news one day I will be overjoyed. It never fails to astound me how strong the hold is on people.

For some people it's a fixed, unshakeable delusion. They've bought into it so much that nothing short of God coming down and telling them in person that it's all a fabrication will change their minds. Even then, they'd think God was really Satan. Their knee-jerk reactions are all drilled into them like catechisms. My TBM wife will never listen to me no matter what. Anything I say about the church is met with a force field stronger than anything in Star Trek. My advice is to be superficial friends and avoid talking about church stuff. For some people there is no light on the horizon.