What the heck is wrong with these people? I emailed in my resignation early in the summer. They lost it. I emailed another in August. They've sat on it for a month. I explicitly demanded no contact other than a written confirmation letting me know it had been fully processed.

Today at work (I'm a professor) I get this email from a fellow professor.


Hi Professor [ME],

I am currently serving as the Bishop for the XXX Ward. I recently received your request for name removal and would like to help move that process along. One of the final steps is for us to meet briefly to discuss. I promise, I have no intention of meeting with the intent to dissuade you; I'm new to serving as Bishop and I'm curious about the process and would like to ask you a few questions so I can understand how to better assist with the process in the future.

If you are unwilling to meet, I understand. If you are able to meet, would you have time on Wednesday or Friday of this week? I'm open all day/either day.

Best Regards,

Curtis (Bishop Nicholls)
Curtis M. Nicholls, Ph.D.
Assistant Professor of Accounting
School of Management



First off, he contacted from his professional email address to my professional email address (which I had not distributed). Total no-no. Secondly, he disregarded my specific instructions not to contact me. Thirdly, he lied, a meeting is not the next step, it isn't required.

I realize I should be happy that they are at least processing my request but the total lack of boundaries continues to shock me. The way he tries to blend the personal with the professional is disturbing. As a bishop I'd like to tell him to take a long walk off a short dock. As a fellow professor, I need to remain more cordial. This is exactly what he is trying to take advantage of, isn't it?

Dabners

Emailing from his work account is unprofessional. He admitted he's new to the Bishop job so maybe you can give him a little instruction. Email him from your personal email account to his personal email account (attaching his original email to you) and let him know you'd prefer to keep personal emails out of your work domain.

Second, you could let him know he can process the paperwork without a meeting. I specifically asked that we not be contacted when I sent my family's resignation letter and, of course, that request was disregarded and the bishop contacted my husband. He just told him to please process the paperwork.

Just my two cents worth.

However you respond, cc the school.

Tell him there's no reason to meet and to please process **the resignation** without further delay.

I you want, you could add that you prefer to use your work email for professional issues.

And if you said resignation in your letter you are already out. They have acknowledged receipt and that is all it takes.

Hey Curtis,
I don't understand the hold up. I resigned. You received it. Anything else is just you processing your paperwork. I know you are new so maybe you should read that part of the CHI again.

See you around campus,
Dabners

Doesn't matter what it is. Mormons have NO boundaries. Period.

It really is amazing to what extent Mormons are indoctrinated to believe that if they are doing the Lord's work there are no normal boundaries. It is quite alright to abuse this and abuse that, to manipulate here and manipulate there, and to bend this rule and that rule when you are attempting to save a soul.

I have seen so many twists and turns in this area it makes me have migraines. I find with myself that once in a while I just want to fall for it because I do not want to believe that people can act this way over and over again.

But they can, and they do.

I'm still really torqued off. I find playing his professional position against his religious affiliation against each other to be particularly obnoxious.

I'm vacillating between taking the meeting and telling him what I think of his religion and his approach, sending a note to HR asking that he be reprimanded for violating my request not to be contacted, or a VERY terse note asking that he respect my original request.

Dabs

He is a person not an institution. He says he is new so you might want to cut him some slack.

Send it from your home email and tell him how it is inappropriate that he contacted you despite you saying that you didn't want contact and that it is doubly bad that he contacted you at work from his work account. But you understand he is new and that he will no doubt be processing quite a few resignations as the members discover more information such as is listed at http://cesletter.com

Also that the best advice you can give him is to read this so he is prepared for his position and what he will face.

Also let him know if the issues with the truthfulness of the church ever become too much to face and he needs to talk to someone non judgmental outside the gossip world of the church about these things you are there for him.

Given that the guy is new, I think I would just say, "No need for a meeting. Just process my paperwork. Thank you."

This is probably the best way to handle it. He should not have contacted you via your professional email, but in the interest of collegiality, I would let it slide this one time.

Mixing business with pleasure is one way of doing things: unprofessional, improper and wrong channel. The church always messes up and most, if not all, bishops too - this one yes, in the way he contacted you. He should-and may- have known better.

I wouldn't answer [work related] at all. If he contacts me another way (you agree with), maybe I'd answer or respond.

You are out! Even if he can not reach you, he will, eventually, have to process "his end" and then you should get the lazy letter.