Serious question, as i'm getting a divorce where I was cheated on and been seeing a LDS lady (who also went through a almost identical horrible divorce). I'm catholic and went to Catholic schools my whole life and found this site doing some google searches. I don't know squat about the mormon church other than a hilarious southpark episode and reading Under the Banner of Heaven and admittedly what i've read is pretty weird. She is beautifull, very smart, genuinly nice and I really feel a connection. Only odd thing is evben though very well educated (BYU grad with honors then got married) she seems naive and childlike about the world I live in and I dont mean just religion im talking things in her socioeconomic sphere like going to nice restaurants, what's Neiman Marcus, etc. She's also in charge of some women's group at whatever her local church so i'd imagine she's pretty serious and the whole I want you to come check out my church talk has already been proposed. Maybe this question is better directed to a non athiest, but my Catholic Church has some pretty weird stuff too and you can start with the fact they believe the Pope is basically like St. Peter who gets orders from God and can tell everyone what to do and we can go on from there. My point is if a woman makes you happy who cares what kind of crazy nonsense her religion believes, what difference does it really make? If it's that important to her I don't see the problem, I mean I don't believe any of this stuff I read but im not taking my or her church's word for anything. My kids are older but my ex would have a say over what they do so. She has four little kids, but her kids are her kids right? I just don't get what's so bad that as an adult you can't deal with it any differently than any other church. If do admit that if I decide to think about it and they want me to meet some 18 year old missionary, i'm certainly not going to believe the stuff some little kid tells but on the other hand i'm not going to waste my time arguing with a kid whose a young religious zealot no matter the religion. I've gotten along just fine being a Catholic pretending to believe all that stuff starting when they speerated the boys from the girls in religion classes and told us not to masturbate. I just nodded my head like oh yeah but I didn't believe it, not for a second. How can this be any different? You people tell me

I think religion has a huge impact on a relationship. Huge. I used to think it didn't matter, until DH decided to go back to his roots and be an active Mormon again.

I'm not active, I don't believe a word of it and it creates major discord.

I guess if she doesn't really believe it and just goes for show, that could work.

the ferret will be a read deal breaker.

Oh, that and the fact that wood floats.

Not the same thing at all! The Catholic Church has some pretty messed-up history, but doesn't take over your life like the Mormon Church does. Your lady will expect you to join her church or probably won't marry you. If she does marry you, you'll be number two behind her church commitments. She'll also be paying 10 percent of her income to the Mormon Church and spending hours and hours each week doing church-related "service".

well, that does suck but 10% to any church would be a lot cheaper than my crazy ex wife even including the cost for the new wife and her kids. Would have to be six kids or more to cost as much as my ex alone

She probably won't marry you unless you convert and take her to the temple. If she does marry you she will spend time trying to persuade you to believe like she does. If you don't then she probably in the end will not be happy with the relationship.
It isn't the same as Catholicism. You can be a Catholic and live in the real world. In the world of Mormonism the world is perceived as Satan's domain and everything is looked at from that perspective.

The part about not going to nice restaurants: she probably didn't date much before she married the first time and if she did, probably not anyone worldly who knows how to wine and dine. The women are raised to be child like and sweet, and accepting of male "authority". However, they have other ways to manipulate when necessary.



Edited 4 time(s). Last edit at 06/17/2013 12:04PM by snuckafoodberry.

"I just don't get what's so bad that as an adult you can't deal with it any differently than any other church."

The Mormon Church is definitely NOT like any other church. That is not to say it can't work. But you have a WHOLE lot of learning to do my friend because you do need to go into it with eyes open so that you can make an informed decision. The naiveite is just the tip of the iceberg. Just as a small example, Mormons do not watch rated R movies. PG-13 movies are not strictly forbidden, but PG-13 topics are off limits so that you don't offend the spirit. Any swearing is strictly prohibited.

As another small example of what your in for, if she is a true committed Mormon, she will NEVER let up on trying to convert you. And I mean NEVER.

Short answer: your "live and let live" attitude is not going to be acceptable to her in the long-run. :-(

How much do you know about cult-like organizations?

Don't take this the wrong way...and this is from someone that still attends every Sunday.

Run, don't walk, run away. Seriously.

Explain to her that you are not interested AT ALL in her cult. If she wants to be a member fine, but she isn't paying tithing on your money, you aren't converting, and you aren't attending meetings. She can if she wants to because you love her and respect her choices, but that she must respect your choices as well. That is equitable, but I bet she won't see it that way, and that is a red flag.

If she loves YOU she will still hang around and respect those boundaries. But Mormons have a VERY difficult time with boundaries (they rarely acknowledge them). Just my $.02. I wish you the best, and hope that I am wrong.

It depends a lot on both of you. I was dating a Mormon girl, but when I left Mormonism, she decided she loved the church more than she loved me, so she left.

Mormons believe their church is the one and only true church, all other religions may have pieces of truth here and there, but their's is perfect. They also think their temple rituals, secret handshakes, and magic underwear (no joke, look it up!) control the one and only access to heaven (the "Celestial Kingdom," to be specific; Mormon heaven is a bit complicated).

If you don't convert, give up a ton of stuff you probably enjoy (coffee, alcohol, masturbation, etc), accept the Book of Mormon and other texts (including the blatantly fraudulent Book of Abraham) as scripture, and pay 10% of your income to her church, then she can't have the Mormon dream of being married in the temple for all eternity. She will believe that your marriage is for this life only, and will end as soon as either of you die. So you can expect ever-increasing pressure on you to convert and start paying.

Furthermore, her church will tell her that you are not a "worthy priesthood holder" which every woman and child need to have one in their home. Basically, her church will continually pound home the message that you're not good enough for her, unless you're a Mormon.

I would recommend doing a lot of research for yourself, and talking to her about what you learn.
Mormon side:
http://Mormon.org
http://Fairlds.org

Anti-Mormon side:
http://Mormonthink.com
http://home.teleport.com/~packham/



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/17/2013 12:37PM by nickname.

If you marry a mormon, you don't just marry the person, you marry their church.

Don't be surprised when she starts trying to convert you. Her church tells her to do that and how to do it...bit by bit, here a little, there a little...slowly pulling you in.

I'm not saying it can't work...just don't expect it to be easy or smooth.

It's not a matter of choosing to believe the crazy nonsense she believes. That part is easy. You want to believe god is really an alien living on a planet in the star system kolob? Go right ahead. No big deal.

The problem is having the church police every aspect of your life for the rest of your life.

Your girlfriend will want you to get married to her in the temple. That means:

1. You'll have to be baptized in her church
2. You'll have to pay a minimum of 10% of your gross income to the church for the rest of your life
3. You'll have to agree not to consume alcohol. ever.
4. You'll have to agree to teach your children that they are being watched by invisible people at all times, even in the bathroom, and that those people can read their minds and influence their thoughts
5. You'll have to agree to let other men tell you how to dress, how to speak, what to think, what to read, what movies to watch, and what you'll spend your money on
6. You'll be giving money to an organization that is, at its core, a pyramid scheme designed to resemble a church. Your money flows to the top and you will never get to know how it's spent because the "church" is not required to disclose its finances
7. You'll have to agree to have periodic closed-door meetings with another man in which he will ask you if you masturbate, view pornography, have thoughts about other women, if you and your wife are coloring inside the lines so to speak, and a lot of other invasive questions
8. You'll have to agree to provide your personal tax returns to another, supposedly "inspired" man, who will reconcile your gross income vs. what you've actually paid the church in tithing. If you come up short, you'll be required to settle the difference or lose your temple recommend which is the litmus test for whether one is a good mormon or a bad mormon. That's right, your level of faith depends on HOW MUCH MONEY YOU PAY the church. Sound fishy yet?
9. You'll have to surrender your critical thinking skills and pretend a global flood wiped out all human civilization except a drunk named Noah and his family, and please don't pay attention to the uninterrupted Egyptian dynasties that didn't seem to be phased at all by this so-called deluge
10. You'll have to agree to believe that you, your wife, and your children are inherently broken, that there's nothing you can do about it, that you need someone else to fix you, that that someone isn't jesus, but instead is the church which will give you a laundry list of DOs and DON'Ts that you can never hope to accomplish, and thus you'll always feel not good enough about yourself

If that all sounds pretty good to you I'd go ahead and continue dating this woman. If not, you may as well cut the cord. She will not marry you if you don't convert. You heard it here..

There are 3, and only 3 types of people on earth according to mormons:

1 - Mormons
2 - people who have never heard the gospel and are just waiting to hear it so they can join up and put the misery of living without "the gospel" behind them.
3 - the "tyranny of evil men". These are:
* people who have heard the gosple but have rejected it because they love sin, are of the devil or have a hard heart.
* Ex-mormons, people who leave the church (these are always sinners and weak people). Also known as apostates.
* People who want to destroy the momron church, also known as anti-mormons

Now, right now you are in group 2. She will keep thinking you are in this group for as long as she can but at some point, if you haven't moved to group one she will consign you to group 3. It is almost impossible for a true believing mormon to honestly respect or unconditionally love someone in group 3. This is what you are up against.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/17/2013 12:24PM by jesuswantsme4asucker.

OK, you have to put an asterik by what you read here about Mormons. It's technically going to be "true". You know, all the tib-bits of weird Mormon history, weird Mormon practices, etc. But people in Mormonism practice it like people in many other religions...some really go whole hog and some just show up occasionally. Sounds like you're sweetie is pretty religious, but that can change. We all change. Thing is this, everybody here couldn't go along with the Mormon bull-sh#$ and being lied to about many aspects of Mormon history, so we're all pretty jaded, at least at times (myself included). So you're getting one side of the deal here. There is a third side that is real hard to find and it is people who never were Mormons, haven't been hurt by them and know a few, they'd tell you that Mormons can be "nice", very good family people, etc. Which is all true. Some Mormons can be real weenies also.

If you love her, just spend time talking to her about religion and how you will approach it. It could work out. In our last ward we had a Catholic Dad and a Mormon Mom who were previously divorced and appear to be happily married.

Peace.

The Mormon church is nothing like the Catholic church (I am a nevermo who was raised in the Catholic faith.) If you want to make a comparison, the Jehovah's Witnesses might be a closer match.

The LDS church is a highly demanding, highly controlling organization. It's their way or the highway. The church will want huge chunks of your time and money. You will constantly have church people knocking on your door. The church will invade every aspect of your life.

Think long and hard before you commit to this woman.

Another thing you need to realize is that unlike Catholicism and most other religions, in Mormonism the church becomes their identity and everything they do is viewed through that lens; social circles, financial concepts, sex life, etc. They believe that all of that falls under their purview through their ecclesiastical leadership.

Mormons have much more in common with Scientologists and Jehovah's Witnesses than they do with the Catholic church you are familiar with.

If you really want to know more about how the church operates especially on a psychological level got to Amazon and get the e-book "Standing for Something More - The Excommunication of Lyndon Lamborn" it is an easy read and while half the chapters are about his specific story the other half are about how the LDS church programs people to believe in their version of God.

Ask her if she married her first husband in the temple. If she did, then she is still married to him in the eyes of the church.

If you have sex with her before you two get married she can get excommunicated for it.

You need to be up-front and discuss all aspects of your religious differences, what she expects of you, etc. BEFORE getting into this any deeper!

It is just possible that she's able to set the differences aside. This would be an exception. Most Mormons are deeply inculcated into the system. They see the world much differently than the rest of us, and Mormonism is very tribal.

I would let her know NOW that you don't believe any of it, and if you don't plan on joining the Mormon church, tell her it will never happen.

Now if that's the case, you'll feel excluded from much of her life, probably. Mormonism takes a great chunk of a person's time. I married a TBM woman with four little kids. I helped where I could and love them as my own, but there's a wall between them and me. I've always been sort of an outsider. I was also Mormon, but very inactive and unbelieving. I have gone through this relationship being the guy who will always have something wrong with him no matter how good he is to the family.
To them, I am a temporary steward.. a man who takes care of them for a brief time during this earthly life. To them, their biological father, who left them and treated their mother poorly will be there for she and them in the eternities, I, who supported and nurtured them and cared for their mother, will be relegated to the telestial kingdom alone while they go on to be gods without me.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/17/2013 12:44PM by rationalguy.

You are just getting out of one marriage, don't take on a woman with four kids.
Especially not a Mormon,there is no living in peace with a cult.

"In the Catholic church everyone says the pope is infallible but nobody believes it; and in the Mormon church everybody says the prophet is fallible but nobody believes it."

Mormonism a fundamentalist religion at heart and members for the most part don't just go through the motions of their religion. It informs every part of who they are— what they eat, what movies they see, music they listen to, what they wear, how many earrings they can have, what clothes they wear, what they spend a good part of their time doing...and who they can/should date and marry.

When the Prophet speaks LDS really think it comes from God and they rarely question but usually assume that they need to change to meet the commandment.

Don't make the mistake of thinking Mormonism is like a lot of other religions where people pick and choose how much they want the faith to affect their life. It is a cradle to grave lifestyle that is not easily shaken and as has been mentioned is not big on live and let live. If the woman yer dating is TBM as you say and at all devout she 1) is looking for marriage as an end goal 2) will not have sex without marriage and 3) will not marry you til you convert or will be expecting to convert soon afterwards. Also as has been mentioned it is highly likely that her belief and Church will come before you and yer relationship.

Just so you know.

What no one has told you this directly so far is that if she is a TBM, she has a huge set of expectations about this life and the afterlife that she is not willing to sacrifice in order to have a good marriage in this life with someone who will not lockstep into her program.

1. in the temple, you will be anointed to become a god. I her eyes you will be one heartbeat away from being a god. And a polygamous god at that, in charge of populating your own little slice of some galaxy.

2. if she has been to the temple, she has been anointed to become a goddess. Endless breeding for her. Somehow she thinks that is the coolest possibility "life" affords. She has to have her god in order to become a goddess. This life is training for that godhood.

3a. to get to the temple, you will have to take loyalty oaths to a bunch of ancient dudes who think they are mouthpieces for god. Many of the Sunday meetings you will have to attend will be mere parrotings of their very boring conference talks.

3b. if you are a practicing Catholic, you may have some acquaintance with this guy named Jesus and his mother Mary. Mormons have Jesus in their name, but he is very very seldom mentioned in their meetings. Jesus as redeemer is not represented in the temple ceremony, but you do learn what the Mormons think the gang signs for getting into heaven are. "Where did Jesus go?" is a question many Catholics who convert to mormonism ask.

4. you will have to pay 10% of your income in order to reach that divine anointing. You will have to give up certain foods. Some guy can call you or your children into his office and ask invasive questions about sexual practices.

5. you will enter into a "community" that expects a degree of conformity that no Catholic community I am aware of expects. They take attendance, and they assign people to talk to you, and if you are not attending their meetings, they will bring cookies to your house and tell you how much they miss you.

6. if you decide that you don't want to do this program for the rest of your life, whether you are a good man or not will not matter to this woman--she will drop you and look for a man who can get her into the highest level of the celestial breeding afterlife. If you will read this board, you will see how many families have been split when one spouse declares a change in beliefs.

7. as nice as she may be, as nice as you may be, you will never be more important to her as a person as you will be her gateway to the highest heaven. You will be both yourself and a role, and when push comes to shove, the role is often more important than the person.

8. Mormonism is not "just another church." It may have that veneer, but it does not have that content. It boldly states that it is the exclusive true restored church, the Only One. Mormons look at other humans as unbaptized Mormons. The temple is about performing proxy rituals to bring dead people into the blessings of Mormonism. The ones they don't get in this lifetime through conversion or baptism of the dead they will get in the millennium, this magical 1000 years during which satan will be bound and the undone work of the true lord can be done unfettered. That does not mean righting the wrongs of history, my friend, that means baptizing every speck of humanity into this bizarre thing that calls itself a church.

9. Because of their elite knowledge and "responsibility" to humankind, Mormons think they are extra special. They play their exclusivity and exceptionalism into arenas of life that are unimaginable to less delusional people.

10. if you are a heterosexual male, some 44% of the population is a potential dating pool. Her potential dating pool is less than 1% of the population, if she is looking for a ready-made priesthood of gawd holder, which you are Not. Even if you like her for who she is, you are deficient in her eyes unless you convert and start drinking the Kool-Aid.

Good luck, man. I would look for a deeper spot in the dating pool if it were me, but your mileage will vary. Mormonism doesn't vary much.

I'm an ex-mormon married to a Catholic (40 years). When we first started dating we discussed what religion our kids (should we get married and have some) would be brought up in. Well, I was a non-believer and inactive by then (early 20's) and she was a believer but and. Well, we had 2 kids and didn't take them to any church services but instilled Christian values in them. I leaned more toward the "be honest and true" end of the spectrum and my wife injected a bit of Catholic values into their upbringing. They turned out just fine. This probably won't work when one partner is a true believer in any religion and the other isn't. Not that it can't be made to work....just that it will take a-lot of work and a willingness to compromise from both sides. Good luck. Maybe you can lead by example and steer her away from the cult.

Ron Burr

Since you're still separated and going through the divorce, if you'd like a long-term relationship with this woman, please ask yourself the following questions:

1. Am I jumping into this new relationship too soon?
2. What do we have in common besides former spouses who cheated on us?
3. Can she handle it if I don't want to go to church?
4. Can I handle it if she starts pressuring me about changing to her religion?
5. Is sex the driving force in my attraction to her?
6. How will we help our kids live in a blended family, especially one that has different church expectations?
7. Do we want more kids? How will they be raised?
8. How financially stable/independent/responsible is she?
9. Do I need a little time to myself before jumping into another relationship?

I've been in your shoes and wished I'd asked myself these questions. Number 5 was the highest on my list during my separation and after divorce. The man I dated and then lived with was Mormon (I was Lutheran growing up, joined the Mormon faith but left after a little more than a decade of activity). 1 1/2 years into our relationship, he said something to the effect of: "It's time to go back to the church." Even though he wasn't attending Mormon services, never preached anything to me, he believed throughout our time together that he could sway me to returning to the Mormon faith. I felt blindsided and broke up with him. I could've saved a lot of time, energy, and money that I gave to the relationship if I'd honestly answered those other eight questions first. After living in a terrible marriage for too many years, I just wanted an ideal relationship but it actually turned out to be unhealthy and negative in many ways.

My suggestion? Don't try to make her fit to your ideal, and also see if she's trying to fit you to hers. Having lived the life of a Lutheran (but my mom was Catholic), and then converting to Mormonism for over a decade, and then leaving the Mormon faith, I can tell you from first-hand experience, Mormons are NOTHING like Catholics in their devotion or beliefs. Others have given you links to sites to verify the differences I've alluded to; you should check them out. And honestly answer the questions I wished I'd asked myself when I was separated and going through a divorce.

Thanks for coming here, asking questions, and good luck!

She will lead by example. The only good example option for her to marry in the temple. No sex outside of marriage and no alcohol.

Going to the temple means you have to be a member and pay tithing for a full year to qualify. You will also be required to say you believe it to be true. And go to tithing settlement at the end of the year to confirmed you have paid an honest tithe (10% of income).

So much "faking it" is hard to sustain.

Well, if you like the racism still in their scriptures, the rampant sexism in both the scriptures and culture, and the rigid gender roles that allow for nothing at all non-straight and leads true believers to fight against equality...
Well yeah, then I could see why you think there's no problem.

That and the whole mythology system is such a blatant ripoff and con, and it was only cobbled together a couple hundred years ago so it's very easy to prove it's a massive hoax pulled off for love of money and riches.

Have fun living with misery!

My second wife was an inactive Mormon, drank alcohol & we were sexually active before we got married.
She wasn't the least bit religious and promised my lack of belief and/or interest in Mormonism,
I'm an inactive Mormon, wouldn't be an issue for her.
However, her immediate family were strong LDS and unbeknownst to me were secretly working on her,
during our marriage, to come back to an active status in the Mormon church.
Eventually, she started taking the temple preparation classes,
started going to the temple and all the other LDS meetings.

It was at this point her LDS family started treating me with distain and enmity.
When they realized I wasn't going to follow her and become an active full-fledged Mormon,
they persuaded her to divorce me.

The fact that she wants you to check out her church is a "dead give away" that what she really wants
is an active Mormon male priesthood holder to marry. If you don't become one,
you can be relatively sure your gal's family, if they're strong LDS, will be working on her,
most likely in secret, to drop you and find an Mormon priesthood holder to marry.
You'll just be a fill-in until that eventuality.

Run away. Run away fast.

First of all, you're confusing a cult with a church. That naiveté is actually a sign of the mind control in the Mormon Cult.

Don't believe me? Then go ahead and have an HONEST discussion of your religious beliefs.

Or maybe you could ask her just ONE difficult question about Mormonism, like why did the founder Joseph Smith enter into illegal polygamous marriages with children as young as 14 years old as well as the wives of other men? Watch her go CuCoo!

Just promise to come back and give us the details when this whole thing blows up. I'm guessing that we'll hear from you well before aug.1st.

The issue with Mormonism is how extreme the religion is.

For example in the temple they make extreme promises without knowing ahead of time. They include:

1) Die for the church
2) Give EVERYTHING you own to the church
3) Women obey their husbands - husbands obey God
4) Never speak evil of church leaders

The level of control, mind control and indoctrination is at a much higher level than most other churches. The church is all consuming and is the first priority in life - you will always be second fiddle. Their entire social life is centered around the local ward - if she is heavily involved 10+ hours a week is not unusual.

The naivety you are seeing is an indicator of that.

In addition you will ALWAYS be a project to convert. Even if your girlfriend/wife amazingly gets past that everyone else will look at you that way including her family, friends, and ward.

I agree with you the Mormon religion isn't necessarily any crazier than the Catholic religion as far as weird beliefs the big difference is how all-encompassing the Mormon religion is - how much it impacts thought patterns and everything in life.

I don't think it is impossible for a mixed faith marriage to work even with Mormonism, but be warned you don't understand how deep the influence on her runs.

wanted to date outside of her faith because her husband was pretty much steered to her and approved by her family (she as a female went on a mission which I have read isn't required so if that's true i'm assuming her family is really into it and so is she). She told me she told her Bishop (at first I though she just said Bishop and so I though that must be her dad or brother's name so I took his conerns very seriously if I had know what she meant I probably would have laughed). She said all Mormon guys are very strict and she was sheltered so much (she is kind of embarrased at not knowing a lot of the things and places people at our socio-economic level do) and had not been around and she wanted someone worldly who is exposed to lots of social circles and people who would not keep her from the world and would also be a lot nicer to her and not so controlling. She also said she told her Bishop during a long conversation and he agreed she could do that as long as she obeyed the rules yadayada and he was a man of charchter but he does want her to run me by him down the road if we keep seeing each other so he can check me out. That's when I caught on and said "who is Bishop again?". When she told me I said "well, checking me out isnt that hard I own my own business and am very well known and respected in the community why don't you just look me up." So I asked her why that was so important and she said she's the head of the local "relief society", which she described as a "woman's club" and that position means she has to be carefull. I said why not wuite and she said it's a "calling" and you can't just quit. I said OK, I mean I don't know what the means. The only callings I get aren't to join clubs.

Maybe i'm wrong, perhaps she wants a guy outside this circle of true believers figuring she can convert me so she'll have whatever the church gives her yet she'll be with someone who will cut loose and do more fun things and have a seperate social circle that isn't stiffling all the time. She specifically mentioned she doesn't want a guy like her husband and all her friends mormon husbands who expect them to organize a huge coupon cutting and cooking extravaganza to save pennies when they are well off and all social events are at bowling allys or cost saving places like Olive Garden, etc.. She was very pleased when I said I don't even eat at chain restaurants and don't plan to ever do so unless it's a gathering of other friends or families who want to go there.

The fact she's running to the bishop over issues should be raising red flags for you. I dated an uber-TBM years ago before I really knew much about Mormonism, and this running to the bishop was very odd, but I wasn't making a connection on how bad it is. She sees this bishop as having a direct line to God and will go to him over EVERYTHING, including any necking or sexual activity. This bishop, as well as everyone else, will really put the pressure on her to get you converted. You will be treated like dirt if you don't.

First of all, OP, it makes for easier reading if you break up the paragraphs a little bit.

Mixed religions can work in relationships, but with Mormonism, notsomuch. What you're saying seems perfectly reasonable. Your children are mostly grown and will be raised in whatever religion you and your ex have chosen and MollyMo will do the same with her children. You will both go about your merry ways in that regard.

Mormonism doesn't do that. You will be expected to convert and be sealed to her in the temple. And just so you know, if she went through the temple with her prior husband, she is still "married" to that man, sealed to him, and that situation will remain until you convert and can be sealed to her and take over that priesthoodly role.

You will be blamed for every bad thing that occurs in your life because:
1. You don't have the priesthood.
2. You don't pay tithing.
3. You are not sealed to her.
4. You aren't living "the gospel."
5. There is no priesthood in the home.
6. You are not paying tithing.

Her family will put enormous pressure on her to get you converted or for her to find a "worthy" man who can take her to the temple. She may become resentful towards you because you will not convert and be sealed to her, which is essentially her only way to heaven. Her family will paint you as a bad person for not accepting "the gospel." If you are not aware of this, all good people become Mormon. If you don't convert, there is something wrong with you, you are influenced by Satan, and you will be a bad influence on your girlfriend, trying to pull her away from "the one true church" and break her testimony. You will be seen as the enemy.

Her church friends will look on her with pitty that her man is not Mormon, does not attend church with her, and has not taken her to the temple. Those meetings (church services) are awful, have you been to one yet? Open mic day (testimony meeting) is the worst!

Don't expect much with this relationship. If you're not Mormon, the chances of this relationship failing are very high. Given the fact you probably won't be raising children together, there's a better hope of survival, but if you do have children with her, you need to be prepared that those children will be raised Mormon. There will be serious problems if you refuse to do so and there will be serious problems with the children not being sealed to you. Until you convert and go through endowments, those children will be sealed to her ex-husband (assuming she was sealed to him) by default.

Do you see the problems here? It's not just two people believing in different kooky things and going about their merry way, Mormonism is the end-all, be-all. They dictate what kind of underwear you wear for god's sake. They eat, sleep, and breathe it. You don't marry a woman, you marry her church.

She may seem open-minded and willing to work with your differences, but that won't last long.

Toto gives some very sound advice in addition to what others have posted. Pay attention!

I have a feeling you haven't known this woman very long. I had a position n the Mormon Regional Single Adults, and I have known many Mormon women who were on the prowl for men with money.

First of all, all Mormons are trained sales people. The more converts they can recruit, the higher their status in the cult. You are dealing with a professional saleswoman, who has the little-girl demeanor that Mormon women are trained to have. Mormons learn to be master manipulators. Beware.

Unmarried Mormons work very fast. The average in our singles group was a dating period of 5 months. No engagements. Straight to the temple. Most of these marriages fail, because both partners have been faking-it to impress each other. Already, you are seeing that your woman friend is not as classy and well-schooled as she pretends to be. This it just the tip of the iceberg.

I know a lot of successful marriages of mixed religions, but if one of the religions is the Mormonism, these marriages are very unhappy, and usually break up. Don't be so glib about money. Your time and money would be better spent on your adult children, who are starting out in life, than spent on LDS. Inc, and their malls, real estate holdings (the tax-free prime lots their temples, churches, and parking lots are sitting on), doing janitorial and grounds-keeping work to maintain those properties, spending time helping only other Mormons do their busywork that does nothing to help the poor. No matter how much money you spend on her and on her cult, you will never be good enough. You will be unhappy.

Your woman friend is already putting a wedge between you and your ex-wife and your own children. It shows in what you wrote. Please don't let this happen. There are plenty of lovely, genuine non-cult women who would be kind, and embrace your whole family, no matter what religion they are.

There is a simple way to "test" your woman friend: tell her you want an engagement of at least a year! She will whine and manipulate and accuse you of not loving her. She will use sex to make you want to hurry things along. I probably don't have to tell you about Mormons and sexual pressure.

If her family is Mormon and you are not, they will not only disapprove of you, they will try to get her to break up with you to marry a Mormon in the temple. Mormon parents believe that they will lose their family in the hereafter, unless everyone is married in the temple.

Investigate more of their silly beliefs. You need to know what you are getting into!

The Mormon church is a full-fledged CULT. Read Hussein's essays on cults, and Mormonism fits every category. Give one of the normal, decent women out there a chance. Find a woman with fewer children. Trust me, you will end up paying for them, too.

Joy Wrote:
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> The Mormon church is a full-fledged CULT. Read
> Hussein's essays on cults, and Mormonism fits
> every category.

Gentle correction: It is Steve HASSAN. He is an expert on cults...has lectured at the Exmormon Conference...and at least some of his extensive writings are on Mormonism. Pay particular attention to his BITE model of cults.

www.f r e e d o m o f m i n d.com (Take out the spaces between the letters.)

Ask yourself if you want to spend the rest of your life with a woman who will almost NEVER (and I mean NEVER) take these off, day or night:

http://m o r m o n c u r t a i n .com/topic_garments_section1.html (take out the spaces in the domain name).

When the foreplay is finished she won't have to wear them for a bit, but the second you're done they're going right back on. She thinks it's a covenant she made with god.

Oh, and she'll wear a (1-piece) swimsuit for random dudes at the pool when she takes the kids swimming because god says that's ok. But when she's home with you relaxing and watching TV? Never. The garments are staying on.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/17/2013 02:35PM by jackjoseph.

Dating a true believing Mormon Wrote:
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> very well educated (BYU grad with honors then got married)

At BYU some programs are pretty good, and some are a joke.

Anyway, it seems to me that you still have to learn a lot about Mormonism.

Mormonism has nothing to do with Catholicism (I'm not Catholic). You said you are Catholic, yet you are criticizing some aspects of the Catholic church. Well, this would not be possible with the Mormon church. Just saying.

Before marrying the Mormon church (yes, you will marry the church, not your spouse), keep reading and studying.

Good luck.
You'll need it.