I graduated from BYU in April and I want to know how I should go about things. I already received my diploma in the mail and sent my transcripts to my employer and future graduate school.
But what do I do about my old ward clerk pestering me about transferring my records? He has e-mailed and texted me asking what my new ward is, but I don't want missionaries coming over to my apartment to reactivate me. I live in Boston now and I don't even know what my ward would be called because I don't plan on attending.
Could anything bad or annoying happen to me if I just told the guy to keep my records because I am inactive?
I'm in the same situation and I just resigned. If your transcripts have already posted and you have your diploma, there's nothing to worry about. Tell him what you want, they can't do anything to you now.
It might speed things up if you transfer your records first and then resign. You will almost certainly have to deal with a couple annoying visits from ward and/or stake leaders from your new ward and/or stake, but once they see that your mind is made up, they'll be forced to process your request and that'll most likely be the end of it.
Or you could just send your resignation back to your old ward, and let them figure out how to deal with it. But they'll probably just forward it to your new ward/stake anyway.
Or you could just send your resignation directly to the Morg HQ, but they will just forward it to your new ward/stake.
Whatever you do, make sure you do send a copy of your resignation directly to the Morg HQ, so whatever local leaders can't simply ignore it.
Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 06/15/2013 01:38PM by nickname.
From my personal experience, it's easy to resign when the bishop and SP don't know you, have nothing vested in you, have no social connections. You're just a name that showed up on their records and many local leaders would just as soon clear the dead wood from their roster.
Also, from personal experience, you could just go inactive and wait a couple of decades before anyone cares enough to come harass you.
I would wait on the byu thing. I have heard that it is smart to wait it out. Just drop communication with the guy. Don't reply. I think it's best that way. I am no expert in this area. I would just be careful.
I would request your resignation with a ward in Boston. Not by people you know in Utah. For the time being I would keep them unaware as to what is going on. You do not want to be bit in the butt.
I only say this, because you do not want to take any chances on your Newley acquired degree from BYU.
I agree. You don't want them coming up with some retroactive withdrawal of your degree because you "falsified" yourself.
The less info they have, the better.
It will be good for you to start telling Mormons you are "struggling with your testimony" and would appreciate some space, if they don't mind. And no, you don't want to discuss it, meet with anyone, don't want home teachers, you want privacy.
It is none of their business what you believe and they have been known to try to hurt people.
I always say they have the rifle but you have the bullets. DON'T GIVE THEM ANY.
It is strengthening for you to draw your own borders directly.
If you have Mormon relatives, you can expect Mormon Corp. to track you down through them. It happened to me after I finished my studies at BYU and went inactive. The corporation pestered all my Mormon relatives for contact information and then sent missionaries to my door to reactivate me.
I live in boston, and while I am still technically a member and I have active family members, I have never been bothered by the members or missionaries. I think they have such a high rate of inactives out here.
After I graduated from the BY, I faded away. I didn't go to church, I didn't respond to anything from LDS Inc., in any way, shape or form. I don't care what my status is, whether or not I have records at a local ward or not, I just don't have anything to do with them. When they come a'callin', I deny, deny, deny anything and everything, including my name, my history, my membership, my status. I. KNOW. NOTHING about NOTHING church-related. Thankyooverymuch.
Get a UPS box. Use this as your forwarding address. It will get him off your back. When the new ward sends the mishies out to your address of record, they will end up at a UPS store, not your home!
You may want to get a new phone number and email address. Those items are listed on your records. If you get rid of the old ones, then TSCC won't have any way to contact you.
As long as your family doesn't give out your new contact info, TSCC won't have an easy way to find you.
Change phone number? Have all your mail directed to a po box, which thanks to homeland security, is not even allowed with certain types of records?
Instead of trying to pretend you are Julian Assange, just email a resignation. You will likely never hear from a ward clerk again, and if you do, "I have resigned" should dispatch him in short order.
People complain about the hoops they have to jump through to resign. Seems pretty simple to me, compared to the hoops they jump through to avoid resigning.
Just sayin'.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/15/2013 06:31PM by Brother Of Jerry.
I understand your point. However, some of us who live away from our TBM relatives can have some success taking this route. When I moved, I got a UPS box. I gave everyone, including ward clerk and family, that address. No one has been to my door. However, I did get emails and I got one phone call from confused missionaries who showed up at the UPS store. I told them I lived in another ward, and haven't heard from them since. I changed the email address and put the generic wireless service answer on my voicemail.
If I don't resign, my TBM parents will still see my name on their records at tithing settlement. For now, I think it's best for me to just appear inactive. Thought OP might have similar success if not ready to resign for family reasons.
Congratulations on your graduation. You also have a job lined up, which is great in this economy.
As for the church, just walk out the door. Blow off the clerk. It's none of his damned business where you move. They will try to find you, but at least you will get a respite.
Do not give them your new address. Unless you want the EQP faking a friendship in the name of home teaching, just vanish.
Now is a great time to drop the church. You are starting your life anew in a new city. Go out and enjoy!
One word of advice: keep paying tithing. Take 10% of your gross pay and put it into your 401k plan, especially if you company matches. If they don't have a 401k, set up your own IRA. Keep paying tithing to your retirement and you will have a lot of money when you are old. Tithing is a great principle, just use it to your own advantage.
I know this is long, but you asked, and this guy is a front runner in experiencing LDS Inc abuse via BYU and the ultimate authority on how underhanded BYU and LDS Inc can really be in these instances.
Everybody here who is a BYU grad who has resigned, raise your hand.
OK, how many of those with their hands up think BYU would refuse to send a transcript if they wrote and asked for one?
How many have been refused when requesting a transcript because they resigned? Not "I know someone who knows someone..." First hand experience.
Thought so.
If you get booted out of BYU, your transcript may be in limbo for a while, while they decide which of your last credits will go on the transcript, but after that, you request them to send a transcript, and they do it.
Life is hard enough without inventing stuff to worry about.
As soon as you can, take your name off the church records. My mother, who hasn't been to church in over 60 years is still getting hassled by the missionaries. She never requested to have her name taken off the Morg records.
I also moved from Utah to Boston after graduation. I didn't resign, but I just moved to a place where no one knew me and just disappeared from Mormonism. People would find out that I was from Utah and ask me if I was a Mormon and I would just say no. Eight years later, missionaries showed up at my door. I was shocked to see them! They said,"Hello sister" I said, "I'm not your sister! You must have the wrong address!" Then I promptly resigned. I would wait I little bit longer to resign, just to make sure that your degree is safe. Ignore that clerk who is trying to forward your records. If anyone shows up at your door, you don't live there, they have the wrong address.
If he's emailing you and texting you, send him an email back, with something polite, but firm and straight to the point. Say simply "Hi. Thanks for your concern, but I don't want to give you my address."
I've been in a similar situation. When I bump into them in the town centre, mormons will ask me where I live, and I simply say "Sorry, I don't want to tell you", and then carry on the conversation as if nothing happened.
I've found they don't question you further. I think being so direct shocks them silent, since they expect a passive-aggressive answer.
The church doesn't know my address, so it's worked for me.