First of all, my heart hurts for the family.

I'm posting this as an example of how the LDS church creates an environment that can make a tragedy potentially even more painful.

The bishop and stake president each gave blessings promising full recovery.

A child who was not quite 3 was found while drowning. Here is the sequence of events posted by the child's mother:





"ODS got baptized today. We were having a party after, and my DS2 drowned. We don't know if he is going to make it. Please keep him in your prayers.
-------------------------
It happened at our home. There were a bunch of kids swimming and adults watching. My mom was watching my kids while I was inside prepping food. He was showing her how he could jump into the jacuzzi, and she turned her head to watch ODS swim across the pool, and when she looked back, she couldn't see DS2. Someone said he came inside, so she came in and asked, but I had been right by the back door, and he hadn't. I looked out the window and saw him floating in the jacuzzi. Our friend who was a paramedic and MIL who was a pediatric nurse did CPR until the ambulance got there and the paramedics took over.

We went to the hospital just about a mile away, and they were able to get him somewhat stable, and then we went by helicopter to Children's. Right after we got here, he crashed. They told me they didn't think he would make it, but my stake president was here (our bishop happened to be at our house as well as a temple recorder who is friends with DH and the SP, and the SP is the recorder for the temple right by Children's), and as they were giving him CPR, the SP gave him a blessing. As soon as he finished, they got a pulse on DS. The doctor still isn't very optimistic. She said he could still go either way for a couple days.

He is unconscious, but they had to give him some medicine to paralyze him because he was twitching, and they didn't want him to use his energy moving. He was taking some breaths on his own, but he can't with the paralyzing medicine. His heart was working OK, but it started slowing down last night, so they had to put him back on the medicine to help his heart beat. They are getting a CT scan right now to check to see if there is any swelling on his brain, and then they are going to do an EEG to see if his body twitching is from seizures or muscle spasms.
-----------------------------------------------------
Last night, our wonderful Bishop gave *name* a very powerful blessing. He said that *name* would make a complete recovery!

*name* also received another miraculous blessing on Sunday night from our Stake President. We had just arrived at Children's hospital via helicopter, and *name* crashed as we were racing down the hall to the PICU unit. They started CPR, and pulled me away from him. Our wonderful Stake President met us at Children's. He said a powerful prayer and cried with me as we waited for them to let me see my baby. When they let me back, they were still doing CPR, and the doctor pulled me aside and said we were losing him. The Stake President put his hands on *name*'s toes, and gave him a blessing that he would recover. Almost as soon as he said amen, they got a pulse on *name*! It was truly a miracle!

And here is where I, personally, could use your help. I am a logical person. I look at facts and statistics. Right now, those aren't looking very good. I KNOW that my faith can perform miracles, but I'm having a difficult time BELIEVING, if that makes any sense. If you could include me in some of your prayers, I could use some as well. Also, if it isn't too personal to share on a public site, could you share with me how you learned to move from knowledge to belief. I need some encouragement.
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Dear family, friends, and everyone who has been praying for *name*. We want to thank you so much for all your prayers and words of encouragement. It is with a very heavy heart that we tell you that *name* returned to Heaven around 1:30 this morning. He passed peacefully, in the arms of his Daddy and Mommy. He is greatly missed by his family, but we know He is here with us, in spirit.

Once again, we are so very grateful for the overwhelming love and support that you have shown in these past few days. We’d like to continue to see the yellow balloons flying in his honor."



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 06/05/2013 09:08PM by Susan I/S.

You missed removing his name once. Quick edit! My heart hurts for them.

Sad, just sad.

Phoenix, I actually posted this yesterday.

http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,914471,914475#msg-914475

You local? Message me if you want...

Sorry about that. I'm not really in the loop right now.

No worries. It got buried by new topics pretty quick. I was mostly just wondering if you were from around here. That family is in my stake, used to be in my ward.

This makes me sick & angry that kids who don't know how to swim we're even near the pool, & it seems to me like the adults weren't even really watching. >:(

Don't even get me started on their cult bs thinking.

Another lesson in how drowning doesn't look like we think it does. http://mynorthwest.com/11/2289955/Drowning-doesnt-look-like-drowning

Small children should not be near a pool without 1:1 full-time supervision. :-( Very sad indeed.

That's some good info, thank you.

This is so very sad :( I have a son the same age and just the other day we had to refuse an invite for a birthday party (for a three yr old!) at a public pool. My kids can't swim yet and all it takes is a moment...
I hope he hit his head and was unconscious, the panic and horror of drowning, I would never want a little one to experience that..

I f*cking hate the concept of faith healing. It's absolute poison. This will either drive his mother out of the morg or bury her deeper. Oh the things people will say to her...

Ok, gotta go cry now...

I'm a former lifeguard and swimming teacher. As much as I love pools, my opinion is that having a home pool and very young, nonswimming kids is a recipe for disaster. I would never do it myself.

Trying to guard a public pool with lots of very young children is nightmarish. The kids move so quickly and parents get complacent. They think that lifeguards can see everything that happens. The guards sure try to, but parents need to keep their eyes glued on their kids as well.

BTW, as part of my training I was told that people who come back from near-drowning say that it is not the horrible experience that you would imagine. The initial struggle is the worst part. Then they report feeling mainly foolish for having gotten in that position.

Heaps of survivor's guilt all around including the poor kid whose baptism they were celebrating. I hope this family gets to truly grieve this devastating loss rather than feel like they have to put on the happy, shiny he's-with-HF-so-we're-not-sad face that seems to be revered by so many Mormons.

I hate the false hope of priesthood blessings and, when they fail, the offloading of the guilt for the failure on the already-grieving loved ones. He was such a cute little guy. My heart hurts for his family.

Related to absolutely nothing, but I think this is the same stake that had the molester-Bishop make the news in the last few days.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/06/2013 12:10AM by Surrender Dorothy.

ragingphoenix Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

> *name* also received another miraculous blessing
> on Sunday night from our Stake President. We had
> just arrived at Children's hospital via
> helicopter, and *name* crashed as we were racing
> down the hall to the PICU unit. They started CPR,
> and pulled me away from him. Our wonderful Stake
> President met us at Children's. He said a powerful
> prayer and cried with me as we waited for them to
> let me see my baby. When they let me back, they
> were still doing CPR, and the doctor pulled me
> aside and said we were losing him. The Stake
> President put his hands on *name*'s toes, and gave
> him a blessing that he would recover. Almost as
> soon as he said amen, they got a pulse on *name*!
> It was truly a miracle!

At a time like this logic goes out the window. If it were
"truly a miracle!" that means that God was toying with their
emotions giving the child a pulse just to give them false hope
so he could yank the rug out later.

The phenomenon of confirmation bias works overtime in
religions like Mormonism. Something, anything is held up as a
"miracle" that can't be doubted. But tons and tons of reality
are dismissed with "but I have a testimony," or "I have had
too many experiences."



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/06/2013 12:15AM by baura.

I've been following this story since Saturday when it first happened. I was so angry when I read the bishop promised the boy would fully recover, how would he know? The mom completely believed him. Such a heartbreaking story. They'll probably say he recovered in heaven or something.

Having had a child in a similar position, I can tell you out right, you will put your faith in damn near anything...anything that might, maybe even a little bit, tip the odds your way, no matter how ludicrous it seems to you afterwards, you will hope against all logic and reason, that it might help. If people volunteered to crawl on broken glass, you'd let them, and you'd hope that by some absurdity of the world, it might work.

Because in that moment, when you know they're slipping away, and you're standing there, watching everyone hurry around, grabbing machines, bags of fluids and syringes and huddling, and shouting and counting and trying to listen and monitor everything...every molecule of your being is willing them to just take a breath!

I know that a lot of you guys are feeling that praying for recovery is bad, and if you're willing to forego medical treatment and pray instead, I agree. But she did get her child medical care, and she did what every mother in her position does. She hopes.

I agree and feel there is nothing wrong with prayer,but the people who gave the blessing blessing promised the boy would recover.they had no way to be sure and should not have said that. If he had said something conditional like "Thy will be done" there wouldn't have been a problem.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/06/2013 04:08AM by bona dea.

I agree. Even doctors don't guarantee anything. They do their best but know that it's not always enough.

I'm so sorry that you've had to experience this nightmare with your own child.

Nothing fails like prayer. Baura mentioned confirmation bias, and that's exactly what happens. Remember the successes. Forget the failures.

The original post says there was a swimming pool and a jacuzzi. Who jumps into a jacuzzi?

Many swimming pools have a smaller attached hot tub with water/air jets like a jacuzzi, and people sometimes call them jacuzzis. These hot tubs generally have a buit in bench seat around the perimeter, and this seat is often shallow enough that small children can stand on it. The center, where adults put their feet, is deep enough to be over a small child's head.
Here's an example: http://i650.photobucket.com/albums/uu223/jogja07_photo/SwimmingPoolsDesigns.jpg

As long as a small child is under constant suprevision, he can play quite happily in there standing on the seat. But if the adult is distracted, as this grandmother was by the older child in the main pool, the small child can fall into the center and drown.

My uncle's pool and my in-laws' pool both had this sort of hot tub attached to the main pool. We allowed our children to play in there, but an adult was always in the hot tub with them.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/06/2013 12:42PM by mysid.

I hate to say it, but this will be spun that the blessing allowed him to "fully recover" because now he's "fully recovered" with god, or some other BS rationalization. No one deserves to have their child yanked away like this, and that's one reason religion was invented...

I gotta admit it takes balls to give a flat lined kid a blessing. On the other hand, it didn't work. I think I'd be sick for a couple of weeks at church if I were the bishop. Maybe people will forget about it.

Didn't somebody say President Kimball tried raising somebody from the dead and it didn't work? Kept trying an trying...

On the human level, I somehow wish for peace to be with the family, somehow, someway. It would be so hard. I can't even imagine, because I've never been there.

The mother will now probably blame herself for not having enough faith..

What a tragedy..
What horrible, horrendous grief..

Many years ago a co-worker had his toddler son die in the family swimming pool. The pool was enclosed by a high chain-link fence, but apparently the gate had been left open. The unwatched child walked into the pool enclosure, fell in and drowned. That made me think that having a swimming pool at home when you have young children is a *BAD* idea. If you do have a pool, it should have a high fence and the gate should always be chained and locked shut.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/06/2013 04:14PM by saviorself.

One other thing I think should be done besides having a high fence and locked gate around a pool is that no child should be let in the backyard without an adult, even with a fence and gate. With children, I do think adults have to pay attention and actually watch them around pools.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/06/2013 03:22PM by adoylelb.

This story is so sad. We have an inground pool and have a rule for ANYONE that goes in our backyard. If you haven't had swim lesson and don't know how to swim you MUST wear a life vest. Even if your not going in the pool. It only takes a moment for a little one to slip in, even if they just have their feet in the water by the step or walking near the water they can slip in without a sound. No life vest, you don't go in the backyard. Period.

What a great rule! I love it.

Wow, what a nightmare. So horrible, I hope they can find some peace somewhere, even if it has to come from religion.

Tragic

but he died in spite of their false beliefs. When we questioned why the blessing did not come to pass, we were told that our son died because we lacked faith. That devastated us.

My heart goes out to the family mentioned in the first post of this thread. Been there, done that.

Redwing Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> but he died in spite of their false beliefs. When
> we questioned why the blessing did not come to
> pass, we were told that our son died because we
> lacked faith. That devastated us.
>


That is HORRIBLE!
I am so, SO sorry!
What a horrible, terrible thing to have to go through.

When I was a TBM and gave blessings that didn't work, I would at least say that it was ultimately God's will and not mine. To put the blame on the suffering family is about the most despicable thing you can do to someone! I'm so sorry that happened to you. Some people who pretend to be "men of God" are just heartless.