You know how the Book of Abraham Facsimile 2 shows "God on His throne," sporting an erection. Some people insist that it is the Egyptian God Min who is always portrayed with an erection. Joseph Smith knew better, of course. But if God really is Mormon God (and he must be, because I just know it--I just know it), He'd have to have a constant erection, of course, because He'd be in the constant state humping his many, many, many heavenly mothers. You'd hardly have a moment to relax enough to go take pee between sessions. Truly, He is a better man than I... Than most of us, I dare say.

Anyway, THAT must be why God is on his throne with an erection. You know, should any non-believers ever ask.

Remember, to God, a thousand year span is considered one day. So his orgasms go on for hours, and foreplay for weeks. There's plenty of time left to throw a spiritual ball to his spiritually firstborn, and get those plans for the new platypus over to Grandpa God's office for committee approval. (I'm not trying to be of a dirty mind, either. Except on that platypus bit.)

:)

I'm not all that impressed with Elohim's virility.

He may have spawned bazillion spirit babies.... but he only had ONE mortal child.

I have TWO, and I'm GAY!

I need a like button...lol

Papken: I'm still laughing.

Gawd is Gay, too.

He NEVER talks about his WIFEY.

It's very distracting. I want to say, "ok dad put that away before you poke someone in the eye".

Plus god's a deadbeat dad. Anybody here get a visit lately? Maybe a bit of money to help out now and then?

Not literally, of course!

Polygamy was the true Priesthood, and the same priesthood held by God. Therefore it only makes sense that the great key-words would represented thusly. Eternal sex.

“The only men who become Gods, even the Sons of God, are those who enter into polygamy.”

- Prophet Brigham Young, Journal of Discourses, v. 11, p. 269

How do we know that's his erected state? Could it be his flaccid unit? The relaxed state? Perhaps we are looking at his unit with our mortal eyes and not our celestial eyes and if we use the latter we would see his unit if erected would be off the page and onto the second scroll.

I mean if and when I become a god, or as the Mormons
now say, like god.... I would expect to have a 20 foot erection!

And does anyone have a conversion chart for gods time? How will I know if an erection lasting more than 4 hours (28 weeks in gods time)needs medical attention?

20 foot erection? Sweet! Can I be first in line? And 2nd and 3rd...

jong1064 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> 20 foot erection? Sweet! Can I be first in line?
> And 2nd and 3rd...


ONLY if you have a 20 foot vagina

A 20 foot vagina?

Like the duggar mom?

LOL. She has to have something magical down there, the way those babies keep popping out.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/26/2013 08:47AM by ariel22.

ETERNAL INCREASE means ETERNAL INTERCOURSE!

Well, Joseph smith's key says elohim is on his throne giving the sign of the priesthood. We all know the sign of the priesthood is an erect penis. So it must be his erect state.

engorged with spiritual fluid? That ain't no kosher dill. D'oh!

The picture in the facsimile is so tiny. I looked real closely but couldn't tell if Gawd was circumcised or not. I believe like others, that as a resurrected being he must have got his foreskin back.

Too bad the BOA facsimile is probably too dirty for the "Mr Diety" show.

I guess that's why god doesn't have time for his creations if he's always having eternal sex. So, how do all those folks who swear god helped them find their car keys reconcile it?

Why of course - Celestialis!

I thought an erection over 4 hours demanded medical attention!

I'm thinking that someone should post a link to a picture of this.

http://nathanrichardson.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/Abraham-facsimile-21.png

Scene 3

Just go with it. Think of a rock solid erection. Whether you want to sport one, or you want one to be stuck in to you, just enjoy it. Life is too short to deny ourselves.

Judgement Day would be interesting if god were sitting there on his throne like that with that thing in the way.

That being like an elephant in the room would be an understatement.