I know that the church is hurting your marriage, but I've got to protect the interests of the church...
You're not interested in getting married because you masturbate. When you stop having sex with yourself, you'll be motivated to get married so you can have sex...
Just tell me if this represents a full tithe!...Just pull out your checkbook and write me a check for ward budget!...
I don't know why you keep masturbating, it's not like it's a pleasurable experience...WTF!!! I couldn't make that up if I tried!
When my wife was unable to get pregnant our bishop suggested that we go to a dirty movie to get her in the mood. What an bizarre thing to say, and he was a descendant of Hyrum Smith. It wasn't her mood, it was her messed up reproductive system.
Later on another bishop said my depression could be cured by reading the scriptures. Prozac worked a lot better. Scriptures just made me more depressed.
Just a sampling of many dumb things bishops have said.
Heh heh, SORRY I know this is all really serious stuff and TOTAL abuse of any sort of power, but you have to admit it is HILARIOUS. And to think we bought it!!
When I announced to my bishop that I was giving up my calling as I knew the church was not true, he replied that in the next life my wife would be taken from me and given to another man. Long after that, I realized that he probably lusted for her himself.
I would never follow a bishop, even down a dead end road in the dark. They are supposed to care about the sheep, yet they have not even been trained as a/ the shepherd.
Some of the worst guidance in the world comes from a bishop. It they could think for themselves, maybe it would be possible. If they could think, it might be possible. If they would simply take a breath and listen to themselves, the "guidance" and "counseling" might be wholly different. If they meditated (listened to the silence, the SSV, the spirit), they might have a chance at understanding, compassion, leadership.
Boy the arrogance, the thoughtless, the dark oaths and paths.
I have two friends who were advised to leave their husbands. One because he was a non-member and she wouldn't be able to fulfil the things she came here to do.
The other was a friend who was in a 5-year unconsummated marriage. Of course that wouldn't produce any Mormon children.
(It finally came out that he was gay. In her Mormon naive state, her logic told her that he couldn't possibly be gay, because then why would he have married her?)
That sounds EXACTLY like what happened to a very close gay friend of mine (years ago) in So Cal. He married because the church told him to, but the marriage was unconsummated the whole time. He told me he thought sex (the hetero kind) was so disgusting that he couldn't bring himself to even try with his wife.
Her bishop told her to leave him. But I don't think she ever did. Eventually he died of AIDS. I'd lost contact with them since I was focused on trying to make my own hetero marriage work. One of my strongest regrets is not being able to be any kind of support to my friend during his hour of need. I didn't find out he was even sick until after he was gone. :(
I've had some really awful advice from bishops. One of the most ridiculous (and not harmful): "If you want help from the church, you have to sell your washer and dryer first." Whaat?!
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/01/2014 01:26PM by NewPerspective.
Advice to me from my Bishop. My eternal companion did eventually get pregnant accidentally. She couldn't get herself to an abortion doctor fast enough. The thought of being a mother horrified her.
Stray Mutt Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > It's what one can expect from a bunch of amateur > advice givers.
This^^^^^
How many people have been seriously harmed because of the contrived credibility given to these clowns?
When homosexual persons are authoritatively counseled to marry and have children with heterosexual persons, there is going to be a lot of damage to a lot of people.
It astonishes me what silly minor things Mormons will run to their bishop for guidance about.
Once I was telling a friend about relatively small personal problem. She advised me to consult the bishop.
Hmmmm........why would I do that? First, I'm not mormon. Second, he's a computer programmer IRL. Why would I talk to him about anything other than my computer?
Mormons brag about their unpaid clergy. But I think unpaid equals untrained and unprofessional. Certainly they are unqualified to help anyone through any major life difficulty.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/01/2014 01:56PM by caedmon.
Apparently I wasn't clever enough for the universities I wanted to go to. He made some suggestions for my university admissions statement/mini-essay. For some reason now unknown to me, I gave him a draft to read.
Thankfully my teacher laughed at the 'improvements'.
The surprise now is not that he gave bad advice, but that I was so willing to let this person have so much control.