A solid, lifelong member family with 3 kids abruptly quit the church and resigned, in the last year.

I still attend, because my wife still wants to believe, but we now pay zero tithing.

My SIL singles ward has a total of 4 active men. Yes, 4.

The church is hurting. People are finding out the truth. And just because someone has their butt in a pew does not mean they believe and/or are contributing financially.

The church knows this. Go back and listen to pres Monsons GC talk. I'll sum it up for you. "Obey obey obey obedience pay tithing obey obedience obey obedience."

E

Just heard that 22 people have left in a ward in England in justa few months,wow.

Interesting. Are you able to say which stake or broadly which region?

Yes, are you able to give clues as to where? I am just being nosey!

Obedience for the sake of appearances is not enough to retain membership. Obedience for obedience's sake is not a good reason to obey. We haven't set foot in one of their churches for several years now, but even before we discovered the truth we were getting burned out. The talks were all about Christ as exemplar of perfect obedience, follow the Prophet and every leader in the church, salvation and hope is found by keeping the eyes and hands on the temple, which is afforded all who willingly obey.

How many ways can you reword that same message and keep it relevant? And if that is the whole and sum of the gospel, how long can fulfilling every possible assignment bring spiritual enlightenment before it is just another job? The last of the straws for a few people we know is that the most recent BS-hop is the kind who acts just like a supervisor. Most are anyway, but this person has practically no ministerial or pastoral qualities, and is quick to yank temple recommends for not following his poor counsel.

For the older folks in the modern church, the only reason to stay is fear. Fear of losing eternal families, fear of being judged as mocking God and societal reasons. For the Youth with no message except prepare for the temple and mission, there isn't any reason at all to stay except to meet friends and to please parents, unless you live in the morridor, and then you see those same friends every day anyway.

The only way that I can see to stop the drain is to install somebody like Uchdorf who unlike the others, seems to at least know how to talk like he knows what the Gospel of Jesus Christ sounds like. When the church actually starts providing what spiritual people seek, instead of seeking what spiritual people provide, it might just see some real growth.

If there are 10 families doing all the heavy lifting in a ward (and there are wards that don't have that many), and they lose, on average, one family every 5 years, in about 15 years the ward will need to be reorganized/combined with other wards.

Even losing one TBM family every 10 years would be a huge loss rate. You don't need a family dropping out every couple of months for a ward to be in serious trouble. Considering how long it takes to build up a ward, having it fall apart in 15 or 20 years is a very fast rate of change for an organization. Bad change.

That is what I was thinking. If the same 10 families run your ward (and usually it is the same 10 families in any ward, any time) and then there are misc other families, singles that also attend, losing one of the big 10 would have much more of an impact than someone who doesn't tithe, doesn't hold an important calling (nursery music leader, for example) and isn't seen at all the activities. It's probably more about WHO is leaving than how many are leaving and if the foundation is crumbling, that is a huge problem.

When we left, I had just gotten out of the Primary presidency and DH was a Scout leader. We had two kids who went to all their activities, primary parties, weekly YM's and scouts, etc. I wouldn't say we were one of the big 10 but we were probably right up there - always at church, always at the activities, always willing to help out, always supporting eagle scout projects and always available to substitute. We'd been in the ward 4-5 years with no sign of discontent and to ward watchers, it probably seemed sudden, although I was questioning and studying for a good 6 months before I said anything. I wanted to be sure. Then, we attended for another 6 months before we started tapering off. We slid off the radar pretty fast though, once we'd decided the church was bunk. I'm just glad I got my now teens out before the brainwashing began because they are both pretty stubborn.

Even if the foundational families aren't leaving they are aging out. They will eventually be unable to do the heavy lifting. They will retire and no longer have jobs that support a huge tithing. And then they will die or move to another state to be near children when they retire. And the newer, upcoming families in that category are more mobile and have less children. The world is changing, not just LDS, Inc.

P.S. Of course we all know that Mormons don't die until they are 110 and I'm not sure they die (on record) even then. : )

I haven't heard of anyone leaving my husband's ward. My husband's family are converts of the magical Mormon side, meaning they have strong emotional connections and think they feel and see and experience things of the spirit. They are Mormon wannabes; not the ones with pedigree or generational prominence. But these threads have encouraged me in this way: none of my husband's siblings' children (my nieces and nephews) give two wits about the church. They will not carry it forward. They go because they have to. This means when they grow up, their kids won't be connected to it. And it will die out. This makes me feel good. I won't see the final outcome for years to come but I glory in its ultimate defeat within my family.
P.S. I wish there was a way for us to be able to tell each other's wards. We could find out if any of us attend the same one or have left. I don't see how anonymity could be maintained but it would sure open some of our eyes to see how widespread it is.



Edited 5 time(s). Last edit at 04/29/2013 01:46PM by snuckafoodberry.

My tbm extended family

Ten total with spouses

six out...

the stone is rolling forth into the mud in the heart of Mo valley

I'm guessing, but the ward I used to be in has probably lost about
$100,000 dollars in tithing money from the families that have left in the last two years.

It's not being replaced by new move ins because the housing market is flat, and this is an area of predominantly retired people. People aren't moving in like they did in the past.

When we drive by on Sunday the parking lot is about 1/3 full. It used to be about 3/4 full. It looks very empty compared to how it looked 5 years ago.

They've taken a huge tithing hit. Not that it matters, they didn't get that money anyway.

I've heard through the grapevine that they're having huge problems getting the church cleaned. The retirees either don't want, or can't physically do it. The few younger families don't want to spend their family time cleaning. They're already doing everything else to hold the ward together. They're getting burnt out. There are zero single people in the ward. This isn't a place where single people live. There are very few teenagers, maybe 8 or 9 of them.

It will be interesting to see where this ward will be in the next few years. They could consolidate back to where they were about 20 years ago.

There are approximately 800 members in the ward. I would say they are down to about 100 to 125 active right now. The month we left there had been zero home teaching done. People that live here just want to go fishing or walk on the beach.

all it takes is a simple google search like "why do people leave the mormon church?"

I am one of nine kids in my family. Three in six out. Of the three one is very, very TBM, one will stay in cause wife is very TBM, the last one seems to be luke warm and wife is having questions. I think a matter of time until they are out.