How terrible...

http://imgur.com/gallery/Ksg2e

That letter reads a lot like a hand-written letter young Ziller got from his parental units once upon a time before word-processing machines were invented.

It's apparently not a hoax. If you look down in the comments there's a link to a thread on another website where the owner posted it.

It happened 3 years ago when the OP was 19 years old and in his first year of college. His parents called his college bishop to ask how he was doing in the ward and the bishop told them he'd never met the OP. That's when the parents decided that the OP was Satan's minion and too toxic to be in their lives or the lives of the other precious children in the family.

You'll have to do a bit of digging, but you should be able to find the original story from the guy.

Oh, one more tidbit from the OP. His dad worked for the COB and didn't want any of God's money to go to his son of Satan.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/27/2014 04:50PM by Devoted Exmo.

I'm feeling sick...
Thank you for providing the background insight, DE!!

You're welcome. The good news is, three years later, they're on speaking terms and are trying to respect the OP's religious differences and have realized they made a mistake with that ridiculous contract.

That's very good to hear.

I've had a similar experience myself. My own parents had a similar initial reaction (they didn't make me sign a contract, but they did send me emails and text messages to that effect, and they made similar threats and even some that were worse) when they heard I was leaving their faith, and an even bigger one when I went for the Hare Krishnas. They took it a step further and even made false reports to the police that my Hare Krishna friends and mentors were sexual predators (of course nothing happened to them, because they weren't and there is absolutely no evidence that they ever were, but there was an actual police detective investigation on that at first) just to get back at them for allegedly 'taking me away' to their faith.

It took YEARS for them to even attempt to understand my beliefs (they had loads of misconceptions - some of them were self-created, others were typical pop culture myths) or to tolerate them. But eventually things started to improve between us, gradually, in baby steps. Our relationship is far from perfect, but things are substantially better now.

Improvement really can happen, even when anti-faith-leaver parents take things to the extreme at first. But it may take time.

Wow, way to love your kid unconditionally!

"And I am thankful, love is spoken here..."

"There is beauty all around, when there's love at home . . ."

Pure fuckin' evil, those parents. I know in my heart that I was loved unconditionally by my dear Dad & Mom, regardless of my attendance or not, at church. And I would tell it right to the face of these rotten SOB's, that my parents were better people than them!!!

Ron Burr

"In the name of Jesus Christ, amen". No love or sincerity closing that letter out. Well at least that should make it easy for this poor guy... just cut them off now and start over again on your own. Sad.

Sure sounds familiar in a familial way.

Yeah, kind of a "the beatings will continue until morale improves," isn't it? Sadly, too familiar for too many people.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/27/2014 07:14PM by Devoted Exmo.

Believe or else you are excommunicated from our family. You cannot even be trusted around your own siblings.

Even if it were a hoax, the fact that it's plausible is damning enough.

Wow. Forget about the church's rotten history and present day operations. A church who churns out people who would write a letter like that to their own child is reason enough to disassociate yourself from it.

Ok first I am going to say please don't flame me. And the letter was absolutely harsh, mean, and cruel, a perfect example of conditional love. The writer clearly made several assumptions with absolutely no evidence, and the assumptions are outrageous.
But (please be gentle) I do wonder about the back story. Was the dad paying for college? room and board? did the student lie to his parents? or simple say nothing and they assumed he was going? Lots of my friends recognized that parents were only paying if you were a good little mormon, and they went to church and pretended so they had tuition paid. One of my friends told me that In some ways church was a paying job. It paid for school, books, food, and a place to be.
I took a different route. At 18 I told my parents, I told them accept me or don't your choice. I paid for my college, my room, my board. I didn't lie either directly or by omission. I lived in low income apartments, worked for minimum wage, still owe student debt, but it was all on me. I made my choices and I lived them. I was an adult.

I didn't want to live by their rules so I made my own life.

I also wondered about some back story. Mormons do leap to the conclusion that once anyone leaves, they move straight into debauchery, so it's unknown that this kid actually did anything wrong other than not go to church. What I wonder about is if he did bring alcohol or coffee into the house, come home drunk, speak ill of Mormonism to everyone, especially his little sister, get mixed up in drugs, behave badly when home, belligerent, cuss, and basically go against any household rules. Did anything prompt this godawful letter? I'd say typically when someone types something like this up, it would be because of repeated bad behavior. With Mormons, who knows?

Apparently, the big "lie" was that he didn't tell them he didn't believe -- he told them he did.

I agree with you 100%. People need to stop being afraid, pretending, or just avoiding letting people know they are exmormon athiest etc. I'm not advocating being an outspoken jerk who is on a crusade to destroy people's faith just be honest. If everyone would just come out and be true it wouldn't be as hard for everyone. Also I don't understand why people want to waste their one life they get pretending to be someone or believe something because they are afraid of what others will think. I gladly cut anyone out of my life who won't accept that I am an athiest.

It sounds harsh but if your family and friends won't accept you it will only hold you back, make you miserable, and make your life less successful and enjoyable. I found a new family with my inlaws (who are absolutely wonderful) and my real friends don't give a shit I'm athiest. I cut my parents out of my life for a long time and when they realized the mistake they make they apologized and regret what they did. I sti talk to them as much or do things with them as much but I appreciate the change of heart they had.

I plead with any non-believer to come out of the Mormon closet and be honest with who you are and what you believe. Rip the bandaid off because in the long run you will have a more fulfilling life and a much happier and successful one.

The really sad thing was how many other posters reported that they, too, were tossed out at 18 without health insurance or help setting up schooling, jobs, or apartments. They got lectures instead of letters, but similar treatment.

He said the "lying" referred to him not previously saying he had a testimony when he was younger. But I thought the advice was, "- testimony is found in the bearing of it." Guess not at that house.

It is just heartwrenching.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/27/2014 08:26PM by vh65.

Hey...did my mom write that letter? It is totally something she would do (and has done similarly over different things with some of my siblings). It's amazing to see the similarities between Mormon parents. It's just disgusting that any parent could treat their own child that way!!

That letter is awful. A lot of it sounds like something my FIL would say. The sad part is, a lot of the assumptions and generalizations hinted at in the letter are, I'm pretty sure, what a lot of TBMs think about ex-mos.

The tone of that letter reminds me of the book Suddenly Strangers, by Brad and Chris Morin, two brothers who were raised LDS and decided to leave the church. I quoted these reactions from their family members in my review.

"I am going to be honest with you. I don't ever want to talk to you again. I don't want to see you again. I don't want any letters or e-mail from you. If you write a letter for the family newsletter, I will not send it out. I don't want you coming to visit on the nineteenth. I still love you, but I don't ever want to see you again."

"Just heard from Chris, and respectfully speaking, of course, I'm not so sure you didn't exert some influence there... I think you need to allow people to make their own decisions without your influence... Choices about religion lead to divorce, bad family feelings, and really crappy family reunions, otherwise known as dysfunctional families. People who leave the church end up with huge chips and a need to convert others to their new found philosophy. (137)"

"The thing that scares me most is your current beliefs. Those beliefs have the capability to destroy me and my family, and anyone who subscribes to those beliefs... You must not say anything to my wife or children about Joseph Smith or any prophet of the church, or any church leader or any church writings, or any church history... We read scriptures in our house. We say prayers in our house. If you visit us you will observe at least one of those maybe both. If we visit your houses we expect to be able to give thanks for the food and to read scriptures even if in our bedroom... If you cannot make this promise to me or if you make this promise to me and break it, my family will not associate (Face to face) with yours... Is this drastic? You bet it is. I have everything I have ever wanted, to loose [lose], if I am deceived. (139)"

"...if it isn't true, I don't want to know it" (149)"

My full review of the Morins' book is posted here. http://theovereducatedhousewife.blogspot.de/2014/07/my-review-of-suddenly-strangers.html

I grew up Presbyterian and while there are some branches of that denomination that are more devout than others, I can't imagine getting a letter/contract like this for leaving the church and never heard of anyone being cast out in this way. It's sickening.

hi knotheadusc - i just read on your travelling blog that you live in k., now? that's funny, my yoga group meets there every friday etc. etc.

http://yogapat.info/page4.html

We are only here until Monday, then we're moving to Jettingen.

Ah, schade - c'est dommage - too bad ;-)

Hey Someone, the person who posted that letter on another forum removed the images. He doesn't want this getting back to his family. It was three years ago and they are now on much better terms. I think he'd appreciate if you removed the image and didn't share it anymore.