Date: September 13, 2017 10:06AM
Here's to Deenie the Dreaded Single Adult! I miss her!
There was an older singles ward in Monument Park, but it was eradicated about 20 years ago, because of too much promiscuity. I never went to it, but I heard a lot of stories. Since then, there has been a moratorium on older single LDS wards in SLC.
Older single people are not supposed to exist. While they are temporarily spouse-less, they can sit on the back row in their home wards, alone. Everyone else sits with their family. They are allowed to go on "service missions." For example, a widow in our ward went on a mission to be the housekeeper for a wealthy couple in our ward who were the mission presidents. An single man in our ward went on several missions, where he did construction work on temples. Not as high prestige as mission presidents or couples missionaries.
I think the reason there are more men than women in the Mormon singles, is that the men don't stay single very long (5 months average), and most of the women stay single forever. So, there's a huge backlog of women, waiting to be siphoned out. Wealthy widows with money and houses were the first to be married off. (Unfortunately, most of these ended in divorce, with the women losing their houses--I'm not kidding!)
A lot of the men were single because they had been "incarcerated" for several years. The State would allow prisoners to attend the LDS dances--let them out on some sort of pass. Some men were gay, and enjoyed the socializing, and were really good friends to everyone. Some were "confirmed singles", and I was in that group. I was afraid to say that I was never getting married again.
I was forced to be co-chairman of the regional singles in SLC, as one of my church callings. After 4 years, I quit, telling the GA in charge, to his face, that "It isn't God's work." I saw too many predators after people's money, or sex, or both. We knew who the polygamists were, and they would keep showing up at the dances, looking for more wives--no matter how many times they were kicked out. Part of our job was to monitor the classrooms and parking lot, and break up the sex that was going on there. I refused to do that!
I wasn't really a leader. Even my co-chairman, who was a priesthood holder, wasn't a leader. We answered to the higher-up married priesthood leader. We wanted to involve the singles in something worthwhile and uplifting, such as volunteer work, community projects, and joining in with other church's projects. Not. We wanted outdoor activities like hiking, bicycling, skiing, snow shoeing, picnics, but there was "too much liability." The married priesthood holder said no to cultural activities, because of the expense. My co-hairman and I did some of these things privately, and also had parties of our own, and the emphasis was on having a good time, good food, entertainment, games, music, and not on just dancing and hooking up (and the failure to hook up). People of all ages showed up.