I bailed on the church and my entire family left as well, This we did almost twenty years ago. I don't live in the Mormon stronghold of the Inter-mountain West and none of my relatives are members of the church. Our departure was understated and no one ran after us. They suspected we were leaving because our activity diminished over time until one day we were no longer there. Still after thirty years in the corporation it was a tough transition to a normal way of living. Plus there was the anger, the pain and the feeling of betrayal. I know we have gone through the various stages of recovery and we are now in a good place.

When I left I did not seek out others for support. I put on blinders and just got on with my life. That was really a poor decision of mine because I never really dealt with the mental and spiritual issues and the void left in leaving the church. I was angry at God blaming Him for allowing this to take place, you know the lie! My wife and I came to believe God does not exist. How could He allow such a deceitful organization to have existed for so long? So for another thirteen years I drifted. I was very angry and I would deny God's reality at every opportunity. I finally realized my anger was really with myself and I have made my peace with God. I do believe He lives. I joined a Christian church and am content.

Since coming to this site I never realized how good I had it. My heart aches for the many people I read of here who are in pain and suffering. My heart brakes for those who feel trapped in the church because of family and friends. People who wish to be free but are unable to leave because the chains forged by the church over generations are so very strong. The ties of family can be so very complicated and there is the fear of the unknown, the unthinkable, life without Mormonism. It could be so very lonely for such a person. To be truly free though I believe the bonds must be broken. You have to leave and perhaps be an instrument in freeing others from the LDS clutches. I pray that those who are in this tough place are able to resolve their dilemma and find peace.

I'm glad you're in a place that's working for you.

I would mention that your atheist phase isn't what I experience. I'm not angry at God... How could I be when I doubt he's there?

We each take our own path, but when that path involves Mormonism, heartache and pain seen to be multiplied.