I am the shelf has collapsed stage where in my mind if I am not Mormon then I am athiest. This is a scary stage for me.
I am still excited about being a husband, father, grandfather and the best one I can possibly be...and that is what my life is...and I am thinking when it is over that love will be gone, but I won't know it. So I grasp every loving family moment I can right now...it is all I have, nothing else matters. I am stunned though that I am in a state of mind that the end is the end. I am bewildered with thoughts.

False Doctrine Wrote:
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> I am bewildered with thoughts.

It gets better if you start learning more and more in my opinion.

Mormonism is like a straight and narrow road which if you leave can make one crazy trying to fit those concepts to an open road.

Enjoy the ride with more room to pass.

Thanks...funny you put it that way because that is part of my bewilderment...the highway is so busy! I am trying to slow down and make smart passing moves though.

Of course you are stunned and scared and bewildered. But you are also focused on what is really important: the love we can enjoy in the here and now. It is the most precious thing that we have.

Think of life as that once-in-a-lifetime vacation trip to someplace you always wanted to go, half-way around the world: Paris, Athens, Rome, South Sea islands. When you finally do take that vacation, are you going to mourn and complain the whole time because it is going to end, and you know you will never be able to return? I hope not. You would simply enjoy it while there, and treasure the memories afterward.

Those who believe in an afterlife generally do not think that one of the wonderful things they will enjoy in heaven is the memories of some vacation trip they took during their mortal life. It will be something they can forget.

So, whether there is an afterlife, and you forget your wonderful vacation, or whether there is no afterlife, and you cannot remember it because you no longer exist, it ends up the same.

Moral: enjoy your wonderful trip through life.

Thoughtful insight. Thanks for sharing.

FD:

You seem to be an honest seeker of truth, trying to do the right thing, not just for yourself but for your children and extended family. That alone speaks volumes to me about your good character. Don't be too hard on yourself just for wanting greater knowledge and understanding (even if the quest took you in an uncomfortable direction).

Thanks. One thing about me is I am truly family first, even in my tbm days...callings were turned down or accepted only with the understanding that I won't be at every meeting (PEC, Ward Council, and on and on). Even survived in a Bishopric with that agenda. My wife has always been the same way...so I don't have that demon (TBM wife) to have to deal with thru all of this.

This is normal. It also happened to me and literally caught me off guard because my shelf fell below the floor (belief in God). It kind of makes sense though, because we are indoctrinated that the LDS church is the one and only true church... so when we find out otherwise, we are left with very little.

The way I deal with this is just to realize that we're all in this together. No matter what happens next after we die (or nothing), you are going where all of your ancestors have already gone. So eat, drink, and be merry - really! Enjoy life and savor the experiences you have.

Best wishes to you...

During these recent weeks I have visited ancestors final resting places, including my parents. As I walked up and down their aisle I saw headstone after headstone with the engraving of "Together Forever". Being out in the Midwest, they were definitely not all LDS. Even saw some with the crucifix with the together forever emblem so definitely not LDS. My perspective at that moment was "yes, you are together forever, side by side in the ground".

My father has been dead 14 years, and I see his face in the mirror every morning when I get up, I hear his voice in my voice. When I work with my employees I hear my grandfather telling me how to treat other people and how other people like to be treated. I lke to work with wood, and I see my grandfather's carpenter's hands shaping what I am working on. I hear my Grandfather's laugh from my son who just turned 21. The molecules in your DNA will serve as a template for complimentary DNA for generations and generations. The time you spend with your children will be remembered. One generation turns into another and cycles on ... enjoy your ride on the wave and make the most of it.

Right on man... good perspective.

I can relate with your fondness for your grandfather. My grandchildren are my world. I think I am building memories in them...we have a lot of good times anyway...and none of it involves singing primary songs...Thank goodness they are being drilled with those brainwash seeds.

Isn't it a surprise to find out that atheists are not dark hairy creatures that live under the stairs and eat children.

I dare say your love for your family is enhanced because you are finding its purest form unencumbered by whatever religion has heaped on.

Your post brought such a smile to my face. You have a very lucky family.

I always admired atheists because of their cultural morals. I never understood their motivation to be good people. Now I do.