I wasn't a public apologist, but I practiced extensive mental gymnastics in order to keep believing what I wanted to believe. It wasn't until I gave myself PERMISSION to honestly consider that the Church may not be true that it all came crashing down.
Apologists haven't given themselves that permission yet.
But the notoriety (being published in Meridian Magazine :) ), and glad-handing, and well-wishing of their tribe helps a lot.