I find myself missing the element of purpose and faith I had while in the Church. I don't miss the doctrine or even the culture of being in a ward, but I do miss those warm fuzzies I'd feel about being a daughter of God with a purpose and the "knowledge" that I could one day be reunited with my family and loved ones in the Celestial Kingdom. I liked believing that I had a Father in Heaven who knew and loved me.
Am I just crazy to feel this way? I can't go back, my belief in the LDS Church has been to irreparably shattered. But I miss those good feelings that would burn in my chest.

God loves unconditionally. You can find those warm fuzzies at practically any church or even in nature.

I don't miss the guilt for minor sins and for not doing the long list of chores LDS, Inc. imposed on you. I got a lot more cold pricklies than warm fuzzies, especially as an adolescent and adult.

The church was a lot nicer when I was a kid. Once I got to be an adult, it really sucked.

At this time in my life most of my warm fuzzies come from being around my grandkids and it has nothing to do with church. But they are all angels to me!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/20/2014 03:35AM by Tom Padley.

Warm fuzzies are everywhere you were taught to expect them in church, so you did. Warm fuzzies for me comes from the wonder of nature, reading a good book, or listening to great music.

Passive warm fuzzies are pointless. Would Jesus sit through sacrament meeting, mumbling hymns and playing with his iPhone?

Host a bbq at the park for the homeless. It's a helluva lot more Christlike than anything the cult does. Afterwards, you can kick back with a bottle of wine and a few spliffs, and enjoy the warm fuzzies that come from actively being a daughter of God and a sister of mankind.

Or you could volunteer or something.

+1000

I love this and agree 100%.

I personally still experience the warm fuzzies all the time! Laughing with my children, looking deep into DH's eyes, being particularly enlightened by art, philosophy, music, a great book, beautiful landscapes in nature...there are so many things in life that take my breathe away!

In AZ we have lots of opportunities to do water drives for the homeless and backpack drives for school kids. My family loves doing those things and giving back and being an active part of our community. I love being free from an organization that exists solely to serve itself.

When you leave the church, for most people their faith is the first thing to go. After that comes the repurcussions of leaving, the mental adjustment, and personal relationship changes. When you start to heal and move forward as a non-member, you start to get things you've lost back. But I think that a person's faith is most often the last thing to be restored. But it can return, stronger than it was before. Some people go the atheism route and never get their faith back. You misplaced it the first time. Don't do that again. Put your faith in good principles and in a higher power, not in to an earthly institution. You'll get there and feel whole once again. But that "I know...." crap, that's gone for good. You don't need it. It destroys faith in your personal struggle to become a better person. Remember, it's the journey and not the destination that matters. There are a lot of ways to connect to other people and to community (the warm fuzzies) that don't involve the church.

I get warm fuzzies from chick flicks...

You can get these warm fuzzies back if you join another church

Actually you've touched on one of the reasons that ex-Mos go through such a big anger stage.

The Church made us all these wonderful promises and it was all a lie. When you discover that it isn't true, these promises are ripped right out from under you.

And they heaped guilt on us when we couldn't be perfect, making us feel like we'd never measure up. And it was all a freakin' lie.

No wonder we're angry.

A friend of mine has been out of the church when he came out as gay 20 years now. He has been having financial troubles because his partner is sick and cannot work. Guess what his mother said to him? "Maybe if you went back to church then you would not suffer all these troubles."

Seriously? As if Mormons never have financial and health problems.

I said to him, "I don't think the solution to your financial issues is to give away 10% of your gross income and 1 day a week and magically hope that fixes your troubles".

So, after 20 years his mom still thinks that Mormonism is the magic elixir to fix his life problems.

Try service/philanthropy/volunteering.

Seriously, there are many, many different sources of the "warm fuzzies" as you call it and giving of yourself and your time is just one of them. Instead of sitting in a stuffy, boring church meeting, you could be finding your purpose and feeling terrific about yourself and other people simply by doing kindness.

The difference between mormonism and exmormonism is that it's now on you. You get to decide what makes you feel the warm fuzzies and then you go out there and create the situation you'll feel them in.

The only reason mormonism felt good to you is because you were told it would.

I second dogzilla's suggestion. Try volunteering somewhere. It's great for your self esteem. Pick something you are passionate about and find a matching non-profit to volunteer at. Love animals, then become a dog walker at the Humane Society. Watch PBS all the time. Your local station can usually use help during pledge drives. Is reading your passion? Learn to become a literacy tutor.

I used to volunteer a lot when I was younger and had more time. It made me feel so good to know I was helping out. You'll plenty of warm fuzzies out of it.

The "warm fuzzies " don't just occur in the LDS church. The Dalai Lama, Buddhist monks, the pope, all get the the fuzzies. Maybe you just need to dial a different number.

You miss these feelings but realize they were "explained" through Mormonism, but don't belong to them. It is completely natural you feel the way you do... and to attempt that on earth is a beautiful thing - something TBMs have a hard time grasping, since they are worried about tomorrow so much they can't live and feel today like it is all there is.

Those feelings can be reproduced or brought back. It may take community, further study, or going inside yourself and finding something that works [TMC always wanted to take me outside myself where I didn't belong] or use your imagination and heart to believe in what is possible outside of and in spite of the unrealistic BBC, its P.O.S., promises and guesses. Those warm fuzzies are stronger now and come when I help someone or am simply kind and so forth. We draw from that well deep within because life is infinite, deep and wide.

I experienced significantly more cognitive dissonance than warm fuzzies... that is, when it rose above the boredom. Or the guilt for failure to run the hamster wheel 110%.

Good feelings aka warm fuzzies, are in all of our lives. It's a normal part of life.

Warm fuzzies are part of my life. Never stopped.

They didn't feel very warm or fuzzy when I found out there was no sincerity behind them.

every Sunday morning watching "Sunday Morning" with Charles Osgood on CBS. There is invariably a feel good story on that show that brings a tear to my eye. I get my fix and don't even have to get out of bed.

You can replace them - it just takes time.

As an atheist I have more warm fuzzies and meaningful beliefs than I ever had before.

Not since I bought a "Snuggie".

Surprisingly, I don't miss the warm and fuzzy feeling.

When I no longer believed that the church was "true", I was disappointed and heartbroken. That went on for some time, however, now I feel comfort in living an authentic life. I don't have all of the answers, but for the answers I do have, I can clearly explain the rationale behind those answers.

I guess what I'm saying is that the warm/fuzzies are false because they were based upon a false premise. Unfortunate, but that's how it is I guess.

Do something nice and unexpected for someone else. You'll be surprised at how genuinely good you feel. And there will be a reason for it.