My nephew, who lives in another country, went on a mission a few years ago (it must have been around 4 or 5 yrs ago)

Because of distance, we aren't really close but my wife and I have always sent basic greeting cards on holidays and birthdays to all our nephews and nieces.

A year into my nephew's mission, he wrote me, thanking me for the birthday card I sent but he also asked why I and my kids no longer go to church?

I responded saying I disagree with some of the church's tenets, and can let him know specifically what they are but was not sure he really wanted to hear them and also I think his parents would be very upset with me if I specifically told him. To which he replied, "I want to know. I won't tell them (his parents)..."

Per his request, I sent him a list of questions (I decided instead of saying "I believe this, I don't believe that..." a list of the questions I had asked myself, which pointed to direct problems within Mormonism would be best way to approach it.) After he got it, he wrote back saying: "I'm sorry, I really can't answer your questions right now. I'm too busy" (As a missionary??? to answer church related questions?) It's possible the mission office also saw the letter and told him what to say in response. Who knows - he was working in the Mission Office at the time.

And guess what else? He told his parents, even though he said he wouldn't (I think because he was very upset that they had always told him positive things about the church) and they (his parents) really hated me after that for quite some time, and are no doubt still leery of me. Although last time I saw them, a year ago, they acted like nothing had happened. So luckily they aren't holding a grudge. I think they don't care because their son/my nephew finished his mission, married in the Temple and has a good job - and they are likely thinking all of those things are enough evidence for him to believe that I was wrong and they are right.

I have heard from this nephew's siblings that he tends to be among the most brainwashed in the family - a yes-man and total mirror image of his father.

this story... about how Mormons Can't Function beyond what they're indoctrinated to do/'think'/communicate ... Is all too common, it's rapidly approaching the point where they're not even worth repeating..

Still Sad, tho.

What a nut - missionaries are supposed to "resolved concerns" that's what they do. For him to respond that way and most of all to through you under the bus to your family is ridiculous.

Elder John Jones
c/o XXXX Mission Headquarters
123 Street Name
City, State, Zip

???

If all mail must go through the mission office then there is no reason why they can't open and read the mail before passing it on the the missionary. Maybe that is what happened in your case.

Another possible answer is your nephew's companion is snoopy and read the letter and reported it to the Mission President.

NEVER believe a mormon when they tell you "this is just between you and me." Their allegiance is to the organization --- NOT to you, to themselves, or to the truth.

Your just saying that because they covenant in the temple that EVERYTHING the have and are is to be sacrificed and consecrated to the church...

Ha ha, very funny - and at the same time, fairly tragic. Chances are his letter was intercepted but it's also likely, based on this nephew's behavior, that he's a total serious TBM and one who would never question it.

My point in posting this is to discuss the concept of not being able to converse with missionaries when they're in their 2 year prison sentence/indoctrination bootcamp. I don't see how it's possible to talk to them while they're on missions, as they are so heavily controlled, so it seems like the only time to reach them is before they head to the MTC.

Talking to them after, you have only a chance of them being willing to listen, since most will be marriage and kids-bound. The time to bend their ear is just prior to missions, isn't it?

Time to send your nephew a big gulp of Truth...

You could start with Joe's pedophilia and The Nine Virgins; er, I mean, The Nine Versions of The First Vison...

Maybe toss in a bit of the ol' Book of Abraham fraud...

BY

At least when I was a missionary my mail was private. We were encouraged to have people send our letter via the mission office because we were always getting transferred around and there was no guarantee you would get your letter otherwise. However most of us just had regular writers - e.g. family send them straight to our address.

I think the issue is more that the level of brainwashing that occurs when you are a missionary is so extreme that the missionary is incapable of communicating with you normally.

jpt Wrote:
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> NEVER believe a mormon when they tell you "this is
> just between you and me." Their allegiance is to
> the organization --- NOT to you, to themselves,
> or to the truth.

Absolutely true. Whatever you tell the active missionary, you can be sure that s/he shares it with at least the companion and then the MP. There is no such thing as confidentiality with them. Companions read each other's mail ALL THE TIME. A lot of time they even share personal mail with other misshies. You tell one sister/elder something unique one time, and all the rest of the missionaries that ever turn up at your place know it... So never tell any active missionary anything that you wouldn't want repeated to anyone not in the room. Never write anything in your mail/email/text to them that you wouldn't want them to repeat to others. Wait until they've been released, at least.

+1, it's a cult, don't be surprised when it acts like a cult

EXMODAD mission policy has changed dramatically since the 70s when I went. I had my mail sent direct, including my $ support. Companions then did NOT stick their noses in other's mail unless invited to share. Take your act as planting a seed. My kids thought I was ultra-uber TBM, but all the while I was digging to the bottom of the doctrine & history. That was before the web. When I graduated HS my grpa invited me to live with him & attend college. Had he been in my life just a wee bit more than annually & VietNam had not scared me into a mission I would have taken him up. It is one of my biggest regrets. Just do what you can to keep the door open between you. When he does crack you'll be his safety net. My grpa is the only family member when they died I cried uncotrollably for the loss. Just be that guy for him if possible.