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Posted by: Makurosu ( )
Date: December 05, 2012 01:20PM
Mormon Noir

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uwvVhXItl1w

It's a dark night in the city that keeps no secrets. (They're sacred.) But on the tenth floor of the Moroni building, H. VarDell Crandall, Elder's Quorum President, has the kind of secret that reveals the thin veil between a man and his passions.

As Crandall drained the last of his grape Shasta, the door opened and she walked into his life again. Sweet Molly Moffat, the Beehive advisor -- and she had a bee in her bonnet and her scriptures in her hand. "Why'd ya do it, Vardy?" she buzzed with fury.

"Do what?" Crandall intoned, not looking up from the Ensign. It was the Conference issue.

"Why'd ya change my home teachers? You know Brother Kimball is a mechanic." Her hair glistened with Aqua Net in the moonlight.

Crandall put the magazine down and stood up, his keys jingling against his consecrated oil vial. "He's no good for ya, darlin'."

Molly's expression turned to hurt. "No good for me? But he was going to change my spark plugs."

Crandall seized her around the waist and looked into her eyes. "I'll change your spark plugs, sweetheart. I'm your new home teacher." and kissed her.

It's a cold December night in the city on a hill, but on the tenth floor of the Moroni building, the spirit of God like a fire is burning.

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Posted by: schweizerkind ( )
Date: December 05, 2012 01:32PM
Nice parody. (n/t)


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Posted by: xyz ( )
Date: December 05, 2012 01:34PM
ROTFLMFAO!

"Hold to the rod, Molly - the Iron Rod!"

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Posted by: quebec ( )
Date: December 05, 2012 01:35PM
Good one. (n/t)


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Posted by: Once More ( )
Date: December 05, 2012 01:38PM
Re: Mormon Noir

The grape Shasta and the aqua net are fine touches.

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Posted by: Makurosu ( )
Date: December 05, 2012 07:37PM
Re: Mormon Noir

I was wondering if anyone would pick up on the Aqua Net. :)

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Posted by: munchybotaz ( )
Date: December 05, 2012 02:06PM
Someone should write a book. (n/t)


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Posted by: xyz ( )
Date: December 05, 2012 02:28PM
Re: Someone should write a book.

Absolutely - the ExMo Raymond Chandler!

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Posted by: Aurora borealis ( )
Date: January 06, 2013 12:12AM
Re: Someone should write a book.

wattpad.com? Anyone?
It's a place where you can read and write stories online, someone on there is probably in need of a plot....

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Posted by: GNPE ( )
Date: December 05, 2012 03:08PM
Re: Mormon Noir

I WISH MY WRITERS could do that well with my plots!

(thanks; I'm gonna use this as an example Next Time my contract comes up for Renewal!)

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Posted by: candlelight ( )
Date: December 05, 2012 05:22PM
Re: Mormon Noir

As a long time PHC fan, kudos on the excellent post! Still grinning...

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Posted by: Makurosu ( )
Date: December 05, 2012 07:38PM
Re: Mormon Noir

Thanks, I love Prairie Home Companion too. Garrison Keillor is an American treasure.

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Posted by: spaghetti oh ( )
Date: December 05, 2012 07:50PM
Re: Mormon Noir

I'll never think of spark plugs in quite the same way ever again.

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Posted by: Makurosu ( )
Date: December 05, 2012 08:04PM
Re: Mormon Noir

You can't get any spark without spark plugs. ;)

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Posted by: Susan I/S ( )
Date: January 06, 2013 02:35AM
Silly Boy :) (n/t)


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Posted by: toto ( )
Date: January 06, 2013 09:00AM
Re: Mormon Noir

Thanks for commenting on this thread, Susan I/S, since I missed it the first time. Favorite touches: listening to the music while reading the story; "It was the conference issue"; and "keys jingling against his consecrated oil vial".

My son asked me about spark plugs yesterday. I'm glad I hadn't read this "episode" first because I would've had a different image in my mind while giving my explanation.

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Posted by: Laban's Head ( )
Date: January 06, 2013 10:59AM
Re: Mormon Noir

Loved it!! Aqua Net in the moonlight -- my favorite!!

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Posted by: twojedis ( )
Date: January 06, 2013 11:18AM
Re: Mormon Noir

I love "noir" films! You almost gave me a laughing injury.

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