Posted by:
justrob
(
)
Date: October 28, 2012 01:38PM
I'd treat it like Santa Claus.
So last year I talked to my then 3yo daughter about Santa.
I said, "You've heard about Santa right? See TV shows with him?"
DD: "Yes"
Me: "Well, just like most things on TV, Santa is pretend. He is a fun story to talk about, but he isn't real."
DD: "Ok"
Me: "But, some parents tell their kids that Santa is real. I don't think that is a good thing to do, but I'm not the boss of them or their kids. So, when you talk about Santa, or hear someone talking about Santa, don't tell them that he is pretend, because you might make them sad. So we know he's just pretend, but it isn't our job to tell other people that they are wrong. Ok?"
She agreed, understood, and complied. This year I asked her to tell me about Santa, and she told me everything I told her the year before (including that we shouldn't tell other people that they are wrong, because we aren't the boss of them, but that we should let their parents be in charge).
Your daughter is 9, which means she will already intuitively understand making people sad, or being offensive.
So just explain to her the truth. TSCC is a church, & they like to build nice buildings, just like Catholics do. Having big fancy buildings gives them a sense of validation & fulfilment. It also makes the members of their church feel like they are part of a cool/fancy club that's growing and makes nice things. But, TSCC also takes 10% of all the money of all their members in order to build those fancy buildings. I think that is wrong, but the members choose to be part of that church, so they choose to let the church take their money. Their church is also founded on a series of misinformation culminating in the Book of Mormon which is their scripture which is basically a bunch of religious books cut & pasted into 1 book along with a bunch of silly stories.
BUT- the members of that church REALLY believe that the Book of Mormon is true/important/of-god, and they also believe that building their expensive buildings is important. We don't want to be offensive and tell them that what they are doing is silly/wrong (even though it is), but instead we just want to get along with them. If they ask us, we can tell them what we think (but tactfully, we need to not try to sound offensive). But, it isn't our job to tell them that they are wrong.
I wanted you to know, DD, that TSCC is a misguided organization, but that's because you are my daughter and I do have a responsibility to tell you the truth... but as far as your friend and her family go, her parents are adults and we aren't in charge of them. And as long as your friend lives with her parents, they really are in charge of her. So we need to respect their right to choose incorrectly.
...I really think your DD is old enough to handle the truth (it really is less complicated than we make it: they are wrong, but don't tell them that, because they will just think you are being mean).