I've been rehashing the pro's and cons of informing believing TBM's of what we know to be false.

Yes, yes, in the nicest most loving manner possible, of course. I usually am a fairly nice person I think.

Arguments for helping them out of the cult:

Are they truly happy? Statistics tell us otherwise.
Every parent agrees that a child eventually needs to find out the truth about Santa so why not the truth about the Mormon church?
Is it truly not harmful to look on silently as they struggle to pay bills after giving 10 percent to the scam? ...
Or pay $400/month to send their sons and daughters away for two years to teach others' the same bullshit?
Or silently watch as they use their retirement savings to go on senior missions to continue promoting the bullshit instead of spending time with their children and grandkids?


I need some more arguments for not helping them out. I can only come up with:

You want them to let you believe what you want to believe, so give their "beliefs" the same consideration.

(This would mean that I'd be an accomplice in the crime though wouldn't it?)

OK, here is my two main arguments for keeping my mouth shut but the biggest reason is really mean:

1) A very small percentage of people who are Mormon I respect too much to question their life choices. They are grown @ss adults and smart, nice ones at that and I will leave them alone because for the most part, they are respectful of my choice to leave.

2) The rest are lying, manipulative, clueless, sometimes evil jerks who I wouldn't associate with on any level, now that I see them for what they really are - see them without their Mormon masks. They DESERVE to be in a cult and leaving them to be Satan's playthings serves them RIGHT. Being a nasty TBM is a crime with it's own punishment built right in because Mormonism is a happiness, authenticity sacrifice of your life. You give up so much unnecessarily to be an obedient slave and all you get in return is a warped view of the world. Leaving them Mormon is my way of getting even. Although if they change their mind and wanted to leave the church, and came to me for help, I would help them escape. I told you it's mean but I'm not totally evil. :)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/12/2012 09:55AM by CA girl.

We are only sharing our findings with those who ask. The rest don't want to know anyway and it would be a waste of breath.

This is our mindset too and we've shared with a few other people who have also been on the fence about the church. Oh and that one person who is TBM and wanted to argue, so she kept saying "Tell me EXACTLY why you no longer believe, I want concrete reasons!" She got an e-mail full of all the sordid details and never responded LOL.

I'm torn on this one. I find myself in the same dilemma. I've agreed for the time being to not open my mouth to any TBM about my choice to leave the church and reasoning, unless they come to me asking.

However, it was thanks to a friend that posted on facebook her resignation and some of her reasoning that got me to start thinking, and questioning.

So, by keeping silent, I know for a fact that there are many people out there that would miss out on learning and accepting the truth for what it is. Not everyone would accept it, and some people who won't accept it right now will accept it in a year or 5 years, whatever. They may not find out about it until someone gives them a little shove first. I know that was the case with me.

Yes, I had a great deal of cog dis as a TBM with respect to many beliefs, but I figured these were things we weren't supposed to understand.

When it comes to helping someone find their way out, it has to be from someone trusted, and it has to be when they are mentally prepared to start searching and questioning.

Every exmo represents one liberated ferret.

and boy, they are MUCH happier.

Got the same prob with my married firdns who converted. I know from RFM and Mormonthink so many things they don't. I've shared them, they've either disbelieved, have not wanted to look or discuss, and then I am in danger of becoming the bad guy (well, girl) who is crazy, out to destroy their happiness or their faith, or simply misinformed.

Not being Mo myself, maybe puts me at a disadvantage because the Mos they associate with are armed to the teeth with faith promoting, Mo propaganda that seems to be working very well on them.

If I could just get them to look into it, I think they'd make the choice to leave, but how do you get people who do not want to know, to see? Taking that first step is the longest and hardest, but once they did it, I know they'd take another and another away from the church at a pretty fast clip.

So frustrating. So sad.

I come here everyday to see if there is one chink in the Mo armor that I can use to help them. I am not annoying. I never bring it up myself, I just want to be ready with the rightest most perfect thing to say when there's a good segueway into it with her (I see her as the way in with them both).

So I have been able to pull 12 people out of the church in approximately 3 months, and these were people who were very dedicated to the church. Here is what I found. If you compare the church today with the church before Hinkley, it has changed very much. People don't like the direction the church is going, and if you bring up how the church used to be, I don't think that you will find a TBM who will disagree. This means that a majority of them are holding onto a hope or a past experience.

Next I learned about where JS got his ideas for the Book of Mormon and other things he created. These things just happened to be the common thinking of the time. So when I talk to TBMs and I find that they want more from the church, I encourage them to start learning about the legend of Quetzacoatl or metal plates taught be Josephus as a mechanism that Jews wrote history. I encourage them that by learning these things they will strengthen their testimony, and in turn bring people to Christ. Well in researching these things, they start learning the truth of Joseph Smith and how everything does not add up. What makes this so sweet is that the church teaches these theories, so it is an okay thing for people to read about.

The only reason that I would not tell a TBM the truth is that everybody needs something to believe it. This belief can help people live better and more fulfilling lives, and there are people who are social outcasts which find great value in the morg. These people, as stated above, do not need reality or truth. These people find great joy in the reality built by Josephs Myth.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/12/2012 11:00AM by smith.

If you labor all your days, and save but one soul from the TSCC, then how great shall be your joy as the two of you sit at the bar ordering drinks.

I debate back and forth about this all the time. On the one hand, I expect the TBMs in my life to respect me and my right to my opinions about religion without getting on my case about it, and so they deserve the same from me.

But on the other, how I wish some ex-mo had shown me the light earlier! One of the biggest reasons I stayed in as long as I did was that I honestly didn't realize that other people didn't believe TSCC was true. I assumed that people who left still believed it, deep down, because I was brainwashed to believe that the church was an absolute. If someone had just sat me down and said, "No, honestly, I don't buy any of it. It's complete bullsh!t," I would have had a much easier time letting go of the need to believe.

I think you should leave people alone. Just live your life. If they ask questions, ask them honestly.

Do not try to pressure or persuade them out. It will not work and will only trigger their defenses. Just be open and honest. If they want to leave, they know where to find you.

I like to respect other people's choices in general. I do think there are some people that are happy with their choice and are good people. I know some very sweet Mormons and I have no desire to shatter their happy world. If approached I have no problem discussing it. I don't want anyone to re-activate me, so I won't try to get them to leave either.

Now for a choice few I might be willing to get into a playful debate because I like the exercise of mind and I like being able to give the impression of a smart, confident woman who is VERY happy and successful outside the church. For those that poke too much I have it in my head I will give them a disclaimer: If you really want to talk about this, I have a few things I could tell you that would shatter your faith. Do you want to proceed?