So I work with this guy who I thought was "Peter Priesthood". I have worked with him going on two years now and I never knew anything other than he was a mormon and I thought a good little mormon boy to boot.

The other day he comes to my cubicle and started asking me questions about why I left and did I have my name removed or just go inactive. I told him my story and he told me that neither he or his wife believe. He left his mish after 3 weeks in the MTC and his dad had a literal nervous break down. So he and his wife are closet disbelievers because of family pressure.

I was very happy to know that he isn't a TBM because I like him and I have a new found respect for him.

They are lurking everywhere and nobody really knows how many like him are out there. That gives me hope!!!

Most TBMs I know in my ward think i am one too. Only a select few know of my disbelief.

You know. .. It would be freaking sad and hilarious at the same time to think that there are more NOMs in the pews than TBMs.

Same with me. I spent a few years going to church when I didn't believe, but I hid it very well, everybody thought I was a full believer, even my non-mormon friends.

It always makes me think though, if people were so sure I was a TBM when I wasn't, how many other people who I'm "sure" are TBM aren't really?

On the other hand, it's a bit horrifying that OP's friend's dad had a nervous breakdown because his son left his mission early. This is the sort of thing that keeps people going to church when they don't believe. I feel so sorry for the guy. If his dad reacts like that to him leaving his mission early, how is he going to react if he left the church altogether.

The church leaders really, really need to get the point across to the members that leaving the mission early is not a bad thing.

People at Church are pretty much aware of my doubts because my wife has expressed her "concern" to too many people. She is the Young Womens president and last Sunday after Sunday School her two counselors caught up to me outside the church as I was walking to my car to leave and said they needed to ask me some questions. They then asked what I knew about polyandry and BoM translation. I gave them the most pro-mormon spin I could which still wasn't too great but I don't want to be the person that people blame for them leaving the church. What I thought was very interesting is that these two sisters who are pillars of the ward are having doubts. They kept asking me "Why are we just now hearing about this stuff".

"Why are we just now hearing about this stuff"?

Answer:

Because the church leadership decided it was a great idea to lie about and hide this information as much as possible. The internet has made it impossible for them to do this any longer. THAT is why you're just now hearing about it. If you go online, you will learn of a mountain of other issues they have done exactly the same thing with.

Sounds like a good opportunity to advertise Mormon Think.

one non-mormon co-worker knows of my disbelief. my ward, family & friends have no clue that i even have any doubts. i hold a stake calling & current recommend. it sure would be awesome to somehow find other non-believing fakers in my area. ah well, i will be out before too long, just have to do it at the right moment

I feel so sad for those of you who stay in the church when you know it to be false. You don't want to be a disappointment to your family and friends but have you ever thought that you might be their savior in the end. You might cause them to open theirs hearts to the truth.

If closet doubters would come out of the closet and let it be
known that, although they attend and are "faithful" in their
callings and duties, that they do not believe the claims, it
would unleash a firestorm in the Church.

The Church manuals are designed to avoid any difficult
questions. If those who were accepted as "one of us" were able
to bring up difficult questions and argue them, it would force
everyone to face how difficult it is to support Mormonism
intellectually.

The Church knows this and insists that doubters, although told
they are welcome, are required to keep their thoughts and
feelings to themselves.

I was told to keep quiet (which I did not agree to). It gave the impression of a cover-up.