I've known about my attraction to women for a while, but it hasn't been until the last little bit that I have come to terms with how strong it really is.

I have just begun the dating process, but I have tried to keep it under raps as word will get out and eventually reach my family. I have always known the response will not be pretty, but I was just served another reminder of how much hatred my father has for homosexuals/bisexuals.

He recently wrote a scathing "article" on his blog about "the gays", completely unaware that his own daughter can be classified in that "filthy living" category. I am personally hurt by this and have no other outlet but to vent here.

I'd post a link to his blog, but he actively monitors the sources of traffic to his site-- and him reading this post would possibly be the most awkward way to come out ever.
So I'll just post the snippet of his latest blog post:

Update: Thanks to the suggestion of some of you guys I realized how easy it is to find this post here, so I deleted the text of the blog post.
I'll try and see if I can link to another hosting site with the text available.

Update: Ok. Text is posted to anonymous posting website. http://novni.com/letters/read/2236/homophobic-blog-post-of-lds-teotwaki-blogger



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 08/06/2014 09:42AM by iwenttothewoods.

I am so sorry. :( I was going to say that some parents have been known to come around when *their* child comes out, but your dad is so far gone that I don't know how much hope there is for that. Is there some way that you can put greater physical distance between you and your family?

Best wishes to you, and please know that you have our support.

Funny that you mention physical distance. My father is taking my family out of the country, so I guess that that is as good as it gets.

Could he please take the rest of the stupid cult with him?

What an awful position to be in. I'm sorry you've found yourself caught up in this situation.

I'll never be able to understand why some non-gays are so very threatened by same-ex attraction. How does it affect them at all? It doesn't.

Some straight men are afraid that gay men will treat them the same way they treat women. (Same goes for women too)

I don't know if this is helpful or not, but I've found that those who are generally the most vocal in opposition to things, like same sex attraction etc.. seem to be some of the most active participants. Think Ted Haggard... I wouldn't be surprised if your father has some latent self hatred related to some severely repressed homosexual tendencies. Sometimes we have to let go of people who are harmful in our lives (even family) in order to live a healthy and authentic life. I wish you well. :-)

I get so fucking tired of straight people making totally unsubstantiated claims that straight homophobic lunatics are "latently" gay.

I guess that by that "reasoning" most racists are latently Black?

HELLO!

If most homophobes were latently gay, it would mean a much higher percentage of gays than have ever been claim by any poll or study.

Can we please let this bullshit idea die!!

"If most homophobes were latently gay, it would mean a much higher percentage of gays than have ever been claim by any poll or study."

Huh? Why would repressed self-loathing homophobes admit to being gay?

I'm quite sure the churches are full of repressed homosexuals who are afraid of coming out. I've seen numerous posts on the subject on this very board, in fact.

Besides, Jesus himself was gay.

I'm saying that there are millions of homophobes. Many millions. If all homophobes were closet cases it would mean the percentage of gays (out and closeted) would be several times the accepted 3%.

And yes, imaginary Jesus was gay.

Ouch.

You have my complete empathy.

I dont know you or your father... you might want to talk with him, openly and frankly. This is the type of thing that can do serious harm to your relationship if left unchecked.

Ive shared this before, but I made a list for my Dad after he wrote me a letter telling me that I need to "change"

Its a little long.

List:

I never asked to be gay
I never wanted to be gay
Being gay is not a trial, it is not something to overcome
It is not something one changes, it is not something to be cured, it is not a disease, illness, or malady, it is not a psychological mutation
There is no therapy
It is not a “lifestyle” it is just life, just like for anyone else
Death won’t cure it
The only thing that needs to be cured is the automatic bias some people have
Living in celibacy is not an option
Living someone else’s life is not an option
I refuse to settle for less than I deserve
I refuse to believe things which are offensive and short sighted
I refuse to take someone else’s word who does not understand or try to understand another point of view
I don’t make choices lightly
I am not being selfish
I do not lack understanding of “the gospel”
I am not being shallow or “giving in to temptation”
No amount of repetition or temple ritualism will change these things
No one is misleading me, Satan is not tempting me to be gay or to love any man
I accept that the LDS church doesn’t understand me, I also accept that they are wrong in this regard
I don’t ask other people to change their beliefs
I don’t expect to be treated any differently
I desire a normal life, with a person I truly love
I desire a family of my own with a partner I truly love
That person will NOT be a female, and to suggest otherwise is a rejection of me as a person, it is dehumanizing to me and disrespectful
I plan on living an authentic life that I am proud of
I find this thought freeing and unimaginably gratifying
I don’t reach any of these conclusions lightly
Two hundred years ago I might have been executed for pursuing this course
One hundred years ago I might have been imprisoned
Fifty years ago I would have been manipulated into a reparative therapy program to make me “right”
Today the problem is on everyone else, it’s not my fault people cannot empathize with their fellows and by the same token it is not my problem to correct them, that is their responsibility, to let go of outdated and unfounded bias, to not allow their minds to be controlled by thought-stopping or groupthink tactics and phenomena
But most importantly, to just learn to accept that people are different that it is okay
I am the same person I have always been. I am not harming anyone, I am not a sexual deviant. I don’t need anyone’s pity, I dont need reform. I do need to feel comfortable in my own skin, to do this I need to take a course of action I believe is morally right, I intend on doing just that
This does not include the Temple, this has nothing to do with religion, this has everything to do with how I choose to live my life. I fully intend on seeking a meaningful relationship with a male, whether or not I find one is irrelevant
They can choose to take away my church membership or my reccomend or anything else. Those things are not eternal, they are not significant to me. Ritual is not important to me. Vain words hold no bearing to me.
It is important to me how I feel, who I am with and the choices I make, this is deeper
“No man chooses evil because it is evil; he only mistakes it for happiness, the good he seeks.”
However, evil and good are irrelevant. This is life, a false dichotomy does not change it
I would hope you do not view me as evil or rebellious
I would hope that if I manage to lead a meaningful life this would be of importance to you
I would hope that you might see past the surface of some issues and look for deeper meanings
I would hope to hold your respect, despite making choices contrary to what you personally believe to be right
I would hope that a potential husband of mine need not sense that he is a disappointment in this family
I would hope to not sense that you view me as defeated, weak, and astray
I would hope that future hardships in my life are not chalked up to my “lack of faith and obedience”
I would hope that if things don’t work out well for me in life to not have to deal with a sense of “I told you so” or “this would not have happened had you stayed ‘true’”
Finally, I would hope you understand that this list is not aimed to sting or judge, just to give you a glimpse of how I feel, a piece of my thoughts, and maybe some understanding
You may say that “other people have made it work” that there are “plenty of gay members being obedient” but my life is not their life. My choices are separate and distinct. What they do holds no bearing on what I do. Furthermore, there are many more gay church members who have tried… and failed miserably
I intend to not fail in accepting myself

After I gave this to him, he calmed down quite a bit.


Even if you dont give it to him, writing a letter can be very therapeutic for you. Just to help you process your thoughts even.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/05/2014 09:41PM by nonsequiter.

Wow. That is amazing. Thanks for sharing. It was put together beautifully.

I think I will use this one day... when I feel the time is right.

I have a friend whose son is gay. For several years most of her friends, myself included knew that her son was gay and she didn't. We had several arguments about gays where she said the kinds of things your dad wrote. I didn't feel that it was my place to out her son and as the years went by, I started to get a little upset with him because his mother was saying things that she would later regret. I'm sure that her homophobia kept him from being honest with her. Eventually he told her and the anti-gay rhetoric has stopped. But she was deeply hurt to be the last one to know. He and his partner stay at his brother's home when he comes to town, so I don't think everything is rosy, but he and his parents are getting along and they have his partner in their home, just not in their guest room.

The reason I'm telling this story is that I think you should consider being honest with your dad before he makes it any worse. Of course you are the only one who can gauge his reaction and whether you are prepared for any possible outcome. I am so sorry that you find yourself in this situation. Good luck.

You friend did everything possible to "Not Know" her son was gay.

Her homophobia rightly kept her son distant and untrusting of her.

She's lucky to be in his life At ALL.

So you got upset at the son because the homophobic bullsh!t his mother was saying, she would later regret?

Are you insane?

It is right and proper that a homophobic cow such as the Mom was the last to know.

No gay adult needs homophobic assholes in their lives. Especially if those homophobic assholes are relatives.

No, I'm not insane. I have known the man in question since he was a child and he is an outstanding man. I expected better of him. I expected him to tell his mother, with whom he was very close, before he told the children of all of her friends.

My friend is not a cow, she is a brainwashed Mormon. To my knowledge she never said anything unkind to her son. She is not one of those mothers who throw away their children because they don't exactly fit the Mormon mold. I think that she probably still has some biases to unlearn, but at least she is trying. I have no doubt that she will eventually get there. If her son had told her sooner, she might be there now.

Relationships have responsibilities on both sides. I for one am happy that this particular mother and son are still in each other's lives. They are both the better for it.

I am sorry that you've been treated so badly that anger is your default response. I'm sure that your anger is justified. I'm just happy that my friends son hasn't been taken to that place and I hope that iwentintothewoods doesn't have to go there either.

I'm sorry that you think that you're in a position to judge when, where, how, and to whom someone should come out of the closet.

When I called you insane, I guess that I was being kind.

The reality is much worse.

Its people like you who think that they are allies, but espouse hurtful positions, that are a huge problem.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/06/2014 12:50PM by sonoma.

1.6% of 7 BILLION people (population of the earth) is 112 MILLION people. I would guess that a person has a better chance of being gay than being a left-handed red-head.

baura Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> 1.6% of 7 BILLION people (population of the earth)
> is 112 MILLION people. I would guess that a
> person has a better chance of being gay than being
> a left-handed red-head.

Or Mormon, for that matter.

iwenttothewoods, I'm really sorry. My TBM mother has never really accepted my sister but at least she's stopped doing a lot of the hurtful things.

I'm sorry your Dad is a clueless knuckle dragger. Think of it as brain damage. Dealing with the thought of our kids being sexual at all is tough for a lot of parents. Having that sexuality be different from them is unthinkable for some. I just wanted mine to love and be loved. Parts and packaging are not as important as character and loyalty and what makes you uniquely you. My kid is a left handed gay red head with a high IQ... All children are ordinary miracles... I hope your parents figure out that they hit the 1 in 10 jackpot and have an extraordinary child. I'm sorry for the struggle my child had as a teen figuring out their orientation... But I am never sorry to be their mom. There is not a damn thing in the world wrong with being gay. Know that your dad sees Gay people as " other". When Gay becomes the face of his beautiful daughter, I have to believe that over time he will have a change of heart. Know that this mom is supports you!

I am extremely sorry. Coming out sounds dangerous at this point so do exercise caution; he might react even worse. My mother and I became more and more estranged after I came out and started dating. Some people are beaten, or kicked out of the house. However, like releve said, you're the only one who can gauge his reaction. Maybe trying to soften his views in general before coming out yourself will help.

I really feel for you. That is so far beyond garden variety bigotry. Such poison. Such obsession. That is not normal even for a TBM--well, maybe Packer and Oaks. Your father's words give me visions of people marching with torches. I mean, who even thinks about it that much?

I would never have come out to a father like that. The only reason I can think of to do so is as a slap in the face.

Sorry I am being so strong. It was hell for me to come out to my father--beyond traumatic, but nothing compared to what you would be facing.

I would second Summer's advice and put lots of distance between you. Lots.

There are other people in this world who will love you dearly--as it should be. Sometimes blood is just blood.

And he's wrong. We are popular with those who have open hearts. And, we are a force to be reckoned with, that is clear. And none of my friends in their sixties and seventies look like they are going to keel over anytime soon.

All the best to you. Don't bite off more than you can chew with him.

Yes. Thanks for the advice :)
I already don't speak with him often as he basically cut me off when I left for college after leaving the church.

I suppose I just read his blog to see what sort of things are rattling around in his head-- and maybe hoping he changes his views about things like this.
Obviously he hasn't.

Yeah, I don't plan on telling him because my little sisters still live with him and he already does everything in his power to cast me in a bad light. This wouldn't help matters.

Thanks again.

First of all, how many people are going to tell the CDC their sex lives? I would double that figure for out gays. I would then double that for the number of closet cases who are married, not out to themselves yet, or just plain scared.

Go on Grindr and see how many guys want gay sex but don't identify as gay. The number of gays who would tell the CDC of their sexual identity is about 1/4 of those who have had same-sex relations in the past year.

Besides, 2% of the US population is 6 million people. That is bigger than the state of Utah and bigger than the number of Mormons who attend church at least once a year in the US. So, if he thinks gays are too insignificant to care about, what about Mormons?

> First of all, how many people are going to tell
> the CDC their sex lives?

Very few. That's what formed the myth of heterosexual AIDS. New York City was one of the few cities to conduct detailed medical histories, including checks for colorectal problems and multiple interviews: The number of 'heterosexual' HIV infections in New York wasn't 1/10th the the rest of the nation!


> I would then double that for
> the number of closet cases who are married, not
> out to themselves yet, or just plain scared.

No need to guess. Study after study shows that about 3% are gay.


> Go on Grindr and see how many guys want gay sex
> but don't identify as gay.

As a healthcare professional, I'd strongly adivse against using Grindr. That app is responsible for more than a few HIV infections.

What is there to say about an app that makes even Paris Hilton nauseous at its disgusting excess?

"As a healthcare professional", I'd think that you would know that a cell phone app can't give a person HIV.

And who the fuck cares what Paris Hilton, or ANY OTHER straight person has to say about a gay meet-up app?

Gay sex is perfectly normal and healthy.

Who the fuck are you to judge the choices some gay men make about how they conduct their sex lives as "disgusting excess"?

Your hatred of the types gay sex that go beyond what YOU are comfortable with is your hang-up. It's as stupid as iwentintothewood's father's obscene lies. Just a different style.

Mind your own dick.

sonoma Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> "As a healthcare professional", I'd think that you
> would know that a cell phone app can't give a
> person HIV.

No more than the bathhouses spread HIV.

> Gay sex is perfectly normal and healthy.

Engaging in anonymous sodomy with strangers is not the norm nor healthy.

> Who the fuck are you to judge the choices some gay
> men make about how they conduct their sex lives as
> "disgusting excess"?

If having over 100 partners per year, cruising public bathrooms & bathhouses, and using apps to meet & sodomize strangers is not disgusting or excessive then then there is no such thing as bad behavior.

> Your hatred of the types gay sex that go beyond
> what YOU are comfortable with is your hang-up.
> It's as stupid as iwentintothewood's father's
> obscene lies. Just a different style.

If I hated gays then I'd encourage Grindr, bathhouses, & public restroom pick-ups: that would increase the suffering that hatred would seek.

> Mind your own dick.

Public health advice is not busy body behavior. When 2% of the population is infected with 90% of a fatal disease, giving advice to the 2% on how to avoid the disease is not minding other peoples' business.

You seem determined to excuse any behavior no matter how disgusting or unhealthy. Is that so you can appear tolerant or do you really want people to engage in high risk behavior?

As a big lez and a fan of sex, I agree with Steve Grand. I think gay and straight people alike should thoroughly enjoy sex, even with more than one partner if they like, and take some reasonable precautions and exercise some restraint to protect themselves and others. That's not being hater-y, it's being an adult. Dan Savage is definitely sex positive but agrees that just because gay men can have a lot of sex doesn't mean they should have as much as they can. It's like being at a buffet - enjoy, sample, but don't inhale the whole freaking thing or you're going to hurt afterwards.

@nonnymouse

If you can't see the homophobia dripping from this ass's post your blind.

I don't presume to tell lesbians how to have sex, or don't have sex.

Conversely, I certainly wouldn't take sex advice from lesbians like Dan Savage or you.

Steve Grand Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> sonoma Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > "As a healthcare professional", I'd think that
> you
> > would know that a cell phone app can't give a
> > person HIV.
>
> No more than the bathhouses spread HIV.

***nope, they don't spread HIV either. HIV is contracted by unprotected sex with someone who is HIV positive.
>
> > Gay sex is perfectly normal and healthy.
>
> Engaging in anonymous sodomy with strangers is not
> the norm nor healthy.

*** What the fuck do you know about sodomy with strangers? Millions have found it quite fun and perfectly safe if condoms are used. Sex hater.
>
> > Who the fuck are you to judge the choices some
> gay
> > men make about how they conduct their sex lives
> as
> > "disgusting excess"?
>
> If having over 100 partners per year, cruising
> public bathrooms & bathhouses, and using apps to
> meet & sodomize strangers is not disgusting or
> excessive then then there is no such thing as bad
> behavior.

*** So consensual sex is worse than...
Lying?
Rape?
Murder?
Stealing?
You're a moron.

>
> > Your hatred of the types gay sex that go beyond
> > what YOU are comfortable with is your hang-up.
> > It's as stupid as iwentintothewood's father's
> > obscene lies. Just a different style.
>
> If I hated gays then I'd encourage Grindr,
> bathhouses, & public restroom pick-ups: that would
> increase the suffering that hatred would seek.
>
***your constant derogatory use of the word sodomy in your invective shows your bigotry.
Sodomy is a beautiful and incredibly pleasurable thing. You might even find that straight couples have found the same thing. But you're so damn obnoxious and judgey...


> > Mind your own dick.
>
> Public health advice is not busy body behavior.
> When 2% of the population is infected with 90% of
> a fatal disease, giving advice to the 2% on how to
> avoid the disease is not minding other peoples'
> business.

Nice try liar.
The correct advice is to use condoms, not stop having sex.

>
> You seem determined to excuse any behavior no
> matter how disgusting or unhealthy. Is that so you
> can appear tolerant or do you really want people
> to engage in high risk behavior?

It's not high risk if you use condoms.
Sodomy is not disgusting you fucking prude.


To all the silent straights here,

If i ranted on about how disgusting Vaginal penetration and how disgusting and degenerate men who eat pu$$y are, you'd all be rightly having a conniption.

Thanks for this, sonoma.

I can't take seriously anybody who refers to gay sex as "sodomy," "filthy" or "disgusting" regardless of what job title they assign themselves.

HIV infection is more common in MSM than in other populations in the US, but perhaps it has more to do with a climate promoted by this "health care worker" that promotes shame and pushes people away from open conversations about safer sex and access to things like condoms or PrEP that reduce risk to almost zero.

So yes, mind your own dick, dude... and keep your heteronormativity to yourself while you're at it.

PS. Been to a bathhouse twice. Went with a guy I had a FWB arrangement with and it was supremely relaxing. Well lit, clean, alcohol- and drug-free, with rules that enforced safer-sex practices in all public areas, lots of good conversation... really nice.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/06/2014 12:11PM by Inverso.

To the OP: I am a lesbian. I am so sorry. Just so sorry. My own parents took a while before they came around about me 30 years ago, but they were never as vicious as what your father wrote. I think back to the summer I came out to myself emotionally (years before I actually had the nerve to be with a woman), when I was lonely and scared and so, so young, just learning about myself. My heart hurts for you. That's all I can say.

yikes that's pretty extreme! I can imagine how hurtful that must be to you.... but you don't owe him any explanations. Sounds like you don't communicate with him much anyway, I wouldn't bother formally coming out. Your love life is none of his business. I wish you all the freaking happiness and love in the world!

Have you considered the possibility that your father knows about you and wrote the article in his effort to deal with his denial of the truth?

You have or are coming to full acceptance of who you are. Life is what you make of it.

You might not make your dad happy, but it is his problem that he has to deal with. You can be honest with him if he is willing to listen. But you can't force him.

Don't make his problem your problem. Two greatest commandments, love God and love man. If you live like that, you'll be happy.

Thoughts and prayers for you, love BP


PS, most straights would be surprised by the number of their friends and associates, they think highly of, are gay.

A large percentage of those in the arts are gay. I think the gays are the ones that put color and beauty into our otherwise grey and boring life.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/06/2014 12:13AM by backphil.

Sorry you have to deal with this, very extreme. Stick to your authenticate self.

Finding his blob was easy. I posted the following in the comments section and got the message "Your comment will be visible after approval." So he's controlling what gets seen. Regardless, here's what I posted....

"The 2007 Pew Forum on Religion & Public Life survey, conducted by Princeton Survey Research Associates International (PSRAI), found 1.7% of the U.S. adult population self identified themselves as Mormon". So, ironically, the LDS church, who also "project that they are popular, in the mainstream, and a force to be reckoned with" is only slightly more populous than the LGBT population. So apparently the LDS church lies as well.

[Note to OP: I used an incognito window and visited directly from Google, not this site.]

One of my closest friends is a gay guy. We've been friends since I was in college. I'm a happily married straight female and he is a happily (and newly married) gay male in California. He will be 76 on his next birthday!

I talked to him within the last week, and he was telling me he's had a pacemaker installed, and about what a wonderful help his spouse (partner of 32 years) had been, helping him to get through it.

I said, "I guess we lucked out. We found us a couple of great guys, didn't we?" We both laughed and he said, "We sure did!"

When I first met him, I thought he was absolutely the sexiest guy I had ever met, and the smartest. When I realized he was gay, I really had to wrestle with some demons. I had always gotten the message that gays were bad. But he was my friend, and I KNEW he was not bad. He was a delightful person and fun to be around. He just wasn't dating material.

I had to decide, "Do I still value him as a friend, and am I willing to accept him on those terms?" This was back in the late 60's, and "Gay Pride" was still in the closet.

I decided that I valued his friendship - that was more important, so we have stayed in touch all these years. I can talk to him as openly as I can with my longtime best friend (female.)

When my current DH and I got married, he was a little upset that one of my best friends was not only a male, but a gay one. DH is a lifelong TBM, so both the friendship and my friend's sexual orientation were disturbing to him. But once he understood that both my friend and I are devoted to our spouses and we are simply longtime friends, he is completely OK with it now.

My gay friend is one of the few left who goes back that far in my life. Friends like that are getting scarcer all the time, so I treasure him all the more for that.

I am assuming your father is TBM. He has been taught to be racist and hateful towards those that are different. He is and has been brain washed by The Cult. I expect your father believes he is doing god's will by writing such filth. This is a classic example of not following Christ.

Your life is yours to live it the way that is best for you. I believe all people have some portion of being gay in them. Those that express such hatred towards one part of who we all are usually are having problems with that item in their own life. I feel so sorry for your father.

When I was TBM, I was a Racist. I was proud to be a racist. I used to say racist things. I believed God wanted our blood lines to be pure. I still am racist. I try not to be. I do not believe all the racist things I was taught by TSCC.

I hope your father can over come his hatred and live his daughter for who she is and not for what TSCC demands you to be.

Being racist to gays - I really never associated with gays. I did not really know any. In the past year or two I have meet a couple of really normal men that just happen to be gay. Knowing them has really changed the way I think and feel about gays. They are just like me except I like women and they like men. It is easy to hate someone you do not know.

I truly hope your father can someday overcome the brainwashing he has received from the cult. If there was a god, I would pray you have a wonderful life. We pick our friends not our family.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/06/2014 12:29AM by themaster.

I am SO sorry love. Please know that you are supported and appreciated for the honest and lovely person you are!

Absolutely terrible that you have to deal with your father's hatred towards gays. It's one of those unjustified hatreds I don't understand. It's laughable that he honestly believes gays want to "trap more people into their practices." Uh, right. That's one helluva conspiracy. They'd be living their lives like everyone else, if they didn't have to constantly defend themselves against opinionated people.

I hope that if you do choose to come out to your father, he'll come to terms and change his stance on the position. In a correct world, love for a child should trump his irrational hatred for gays.

Suggestion: You may or may not want to remove the quote in your post. It was really easy to find his blog from his quote (I didn't click it, just found it), but it was also super easy to find your post on Google. It was the first of only 3 search results. I'm not sure if he'd go to the length of back-checking to see what comes up in a search, but yours definitely does. It's up to you. Thought I'd mention, since privacy is a concern for you.

I was thinking the same as a couple othersosted above...what's your dad's hang up with this? And I suspected it's one of the same two things: either he's wrestling with this himself, and that's why it's on his mind, or he already has suspicions and its eating him up. Maybe both. Anyway, I'm sorry you're having to deal with it. Hope things improve.

It's not your responsibility to educate him; it's your responsibility to be true to yourself.

It hurts. It hurts. It hurts.

Sometimes they're not worth it. Nothing changes the fact that it hurts, and his post proves that that egg has been cracked. He can't take back those words or pretend he didn't mean them.

Will you be able to forget those words?

I took some time to find and read some of the posts that your father has posted on his blog. He is living in an imaginary world where he obsesses about world wars and genocide of entire countries. He is addicted to living in fear and he is fueling his own thinking with as much confirmation bias as he can feed his mind. It is not mentally healthy to see things that are not real, hear voices that are not there, and to plan out life based on the visions and voices of others who are also delusional. He is driven by something to keep up all this effort to keep on making his make-believe world exist in his mind. Perhaps he is bi-sexual, or has sexual fantasies of gay sex that help him in his life and it scares the shit out of him so he feels he must react in a hard line type of way. He could entertain fantasies of lesbian sex or feel curiosity about women's sexuality that leads to his wanting to watch lesbian porn. It may be that it is something that he participates in already that helps his sexual fantasies and stimulates his sexuality and need for creativity in his sexual life. This would be hard for a sexually immature or sexually repressed individual living in mormonism to deal with about themselves and it could manifest itself in feigned hatred of gays.

Good luck with him. I would keep my distance.