It's been 4 months since we went from fully TBM 100% attenders to completely inactive. Although our lack of attendance is surely well known, we are suprised at how few people know what's going on until they ask whereupon we tell them. And it still seems to be taking a long time to work through the grapevine. It got me thinking... Maybe apostasy creates an anomoly in the grapevine. Maybe because gossip which involves TSCC as being "false" can't possibly be accurate. It has to be something else like sinning, being offended, or being lazy. Or perhaps we need to be minimized or hidden to avoid getting others to leave. Thoughts?

exodus Wrote:
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.. Maybe apostasy creates an anomoly in the grapevine.
> Maybe because gossip which involves TSCC as being
> "false" can't possibly be accurate. It has to be
> something else like sinning, being offended, or
> being lazy. Or perhaps we need to be minimized or
> hidden to avoid getting others to leave. Thoughts?

I think you're right. It probably scares them because you and your wife aren't conforming to the stereotype of an apostate. It also shows how fragile those testimonies are. It would seem that "knowing" doesn't mean much of anything when it comes to a mormon's testimony.

Also, congrats to you and your wife on your 4th month of freedom! :-)

That could be the case because we look and act like the same people we always have been (among other things, not angry). This doesn't seem to follow TSCC's definition of an apostate. We just cheerfully mention why we don't attend in general terms and then carry on :)

Thanks for the congratulations. Although it is painful socially, we are so relieved that we can live authentically and not have to rationalize the irrational.

If only you'd give them something juicy to work with! I'm sure I could have just walked away without anyone noticing, except my former friend asked the second counselor to come talk sense into me. He asked something about what was going on. I think he expected to smooth my feathers over some tiny offense. I told him I couldn't believe in a God who would change skin color as a blessing or a curse. He said, "Well Sister Dorothy, you've been listening to the devil." I became Voldemort.

I think you're right...the grapevine gets snipped right off for apostates. Gossip needs sin, offence, drama. Facts and logic--terrifying.

What's disturbing is that I've heard when people ask about us, others have said "they're going through something right now". This bothers me for these reasons:

1. It's not something that *we* are going through. The church history is f'd up. It's the problem of TSCC, not me.

2. When you say "something" it allows a TBM to fill in the blank with a juicy sin, offense, or act of laziness which is not the case.

3. There is no "right now". We're out, period. I mean, how do I unlearn and/or become "ok" with multiple fundamental problems?