I refuse to write any kind of letter or send any kind of letter to any and all LDS offices. I refuse to do anything the LDS church thinks they can require me to do.

I no longer attend their functions, I have not attended or joined in with their local groups in any of the last 4 places I have lived. I no longer consider myself LDS and have not for several years.

Just because this stupid group thinks they can track me down and make a note that I must attend the group they select does not make me a member of their stupid group. I refuse to accept their requirement to be part of their forced attendance locations.

When LDS people show up at my door telling me who my leader (bishop) is and when the meetings are and where, I tell them, "have you ever seen me at your meetings"? I am not a member of your group, you are not my home teacher, bishop, insert whatever title they give themselves and you cannot pray in my home.

If my wife feels sorry for the missionaries and invites them in for a drink, I am nice to them but they are not allowed to read me anything from their book of myths or pray to their god of lies and fraud.

Mormons have no power or control over me and they simply do not know what to do. Every once in awhile one of them will suggest that I can resign and I say "why the fuck would I do anything you tell me to do?". The word fuck sends them into the land of being stupid and they leave.

Why would I do anything these misguided souls think they can require of me?

Agreed.

Especially as one who was baptized and confirmed as a child, and without being given an actual choice about it.

I second the motion.

I jumped through their hoop because I truly do not want to be approached. They have no excuse to contact me. DH doesn't want his parents to be distressed so the church folks may contact us because of this. In our old area we were getting frequent missionary attempts and we emailed the bishop with a "no contact" request. He told us there was no such thing and DH needed to resign. He said the gospel was true, but invited DH to resign at least five times. Lovely. They need to make resigning a lot less bother than it is now and drop that ridiculous fake waiting period. Note to all--you don't need your member number. Your name and birthday are sufficient.

In an ideal world, that's how it would be. However some people (many people) need to write that letter to get Mormons off of their backs.

I sat in a meeting at work a few months ago. My colleagues were seated with me. My assistant principal stated that in order for us to get what we wanted, we needed to fill out one additional form. It was the end of the school year and every person present, including myself, was sick of filling out forms. One coworker stated, "I already have tons of documentation! I shouldn't have to fill out yet another form!" Inwardly, I agreed with her.

I filled out the form. It took maybe five minutes. I got what I wanted. My coworkers did not. They spent more time grousing about how they didn't get what they wanted then it would have taken to fill out the form.

So it's really up to you. Add up the time and mental energy that you use to chew people out. It's that versus writing the letter. Sometimes people choose to do the expedient thing and move on.

There is no need for black and white, rigid, only one way thinking anymore.

We adapt our choices to our lives without some some kind of litmus test.

I wrote a letter back in 2002 to remove my membership from the LDS Church as this was how I took my power back and owned it.
It was what I determined I needed to do to remove their power from my life.
And it worked!

How a person wants to deal with the LDS Church (if a member or at some time a believer) depends on what your specific situation dictates is the best choice.

There is no manual. We do it our way!

This is the EXACT reason why I have NOT resigned.
I will make anyone from the LDS church MISERABLY REGRET contacting me.

If they want to keep bashing their own skulls on my door in wonderment of why I do not respond to their bullying..LET them waste their time and have my door in their face.

The latest contacts in the past year: The two Pen*shood Members that showed up at my door of my apartment after 9pm. I answered the door in my short shorts and tank top without a bra. I told them it was very rude to show up unannounced, uninvited and unwanted and closed the door.

There was the "Visiting Teacher" who sent me a TEXT! to let me know she hoped it was ok to "drop something off". I told her adamantly, "NO, it was not ok and do not contact me again please and thank you.".

She replied back, "You will have to resign from the Church to do that".

My response, "I am asking YOU and all others in the Church to respect my boundaries and privacy. Asking is enough."

I had a sign on my door once that said "No soliciting" and had to explain the big word to Missionaries that did not understand the word. I rephrased my sign to "No proselyzing" and a few still did not get it.

My sign was changed to. "Do not ask me for money, donations, your petition, or offer me church invites or your business services. Thanks!"

Someone complained to me how Anti-social that appeared. I let them know that I never made friends from some stranger at my door. I am not worried by "Missed opportunities" of people seeking to take advantage of ME.

RMM

Or, if you really want to get their attention, your sign could read:

"NO F***ING MORMONS BEYOND THIS POINT"

I refuse to resign for a different reason - I do not want my siblings re-baptizing me after my death. I know that they would not respect my wishes not to do so, so I won't give them the chance. On the other hand, I have been out for so long and so far away that Mormons never get in touch with me. If they ever do, I will remember the advice to use the word "fuck" very freely. I think I would enjoy that.

So, you end up a member of record either way. WTF does THAT do for ya??

First, to each his/her own.

Personally, I find the whole thing silly at best. Family and local folks suggest I resign. For me, what it boils down to is to write a note to Salt Lake giving the locals permission to not visit me. It's the locals that are caught in the middle; I've told them this issue is between them and their corporate church. I don't care about their obligation to visit me.

I walked away about 6 years ago and have not resigned.I Have not had any contact in 4 years. I've moved across the US twice in that time. I do not use the post office change of address forms. I contact those that need to know and leave it at that.

I've been in the same place for two years now. hope they don't find me.

Resignation is our legal right guaranteed by the courts. Yes, there were courts cases where judges said that people had the right to resign from their churches instead of being excommunicated. Because of resignation, we can legally disavow & disengage from the cult. The cult does not want any of us to be afforded the luxury of resignation. They still want it like the old days, where you had to be exed in order to leave. And the cult is so screwed up, they don't even call it "resignation", but "name removal". That's their screwed up term to act like we have to jump through their hoops. We don't.

My, my. So much tough talk to justify staying a member of LDS Inc.

A resignation letter is not a hoop the church makes you jump through. It is a requirement of the courts, and it is how you force LDS Inc to jump through a hoop. And it is a hoop they are not very fond of.

The fact that you were a child when you became a member is of no relevance either. You weren't of legal age to sign a contract, but your parents could sign one on your behalf, which is what they did. You don't get to disavow your Social Security account when you turn 18, because your parents signed you up for it as a child.

If you had no say in joining LDS Inc as a child, once you turn 18, you have the complete say as to whether you remain a member. Refusing to resign is choosing to remain a member. It is your call, and you may have perfectly good reasons for staying a member, but at least call it what it is.

Just walking away does not make you 'not a member' any more than walking away from a bad marriage makes you 'not married'.

You can pretend that the church took you off the books, but you really have no idea what records they keep on you nor what those records say.

I am or am not a member of a church according to what I say, not them.

There was no legal contract when I "joined".

If they count me as a member, that is one of the more innocuous false claims made by this stupid cult.

If they count me as a member, they count you too. Prove me wrong.

I think resignation is fine, and folks who want to should do it.

However it isn't a necessary step to leaving the cult.

Did you resign from the Boy Scouts?

Did you resign from your fraternity?

Did you resign from junior college?

Did you resign from that theater troop you joined thirty years ago?

Did you resign from neighborhood watch when you moved?

Did you resign from Safeway Grocery Stores (you had a member card after all), when you started shopping at Wholefoods?

Did you resign from the Rotery Club when you stopped going twenty years ago?

Did you resign from your high school chess club?

You probably get the point.

They can legally treat you like a member and you would have no grounds for a harassment claim. To legally qualify as harassment, the behavior has to be unwanted. Staying a member tells them you want to be treated as a member. No legal grounds for harassment charges.

see I was a member of a cult. I wanted to stop the stalking and so far it has worked.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/27/2014 07:13PM by mav.

but I finally did resign just to draw a line in the sand for my TBM daughter. I actually felt relief, which is something I had not expected. I'm glad I did it now, but I think it is a personal decision.

BUT it didn't change anything. It probably made it worse. I've had more missionary visits than I ever have before. The Mormons still bother me. I got a birthday card from the RS. I don't even know them and they were more than a bit early.

And my daughter hasn't given up on me not being a bitter old exmormon and forgiving the lds church. She just doesn't get it. I'm "over" the lds church. Just because I've gotten over it, doesn't mean I believe.

You don't have a bishop or home teachers or any other local church affiliations or officials.

Refusing to relinquish your "name" may not mean anything to you now.

I chose to have my name "removed" like a malignant mole because I didn't want any descendants to ever think I was a Mormon all my life.

I almost chose excommunication because I don't believe them when they say you are removed. Incidentally, just because you resign doesn't mean they don't ratchet up the hunt for your children.

Make sure you insist that your children be removed as well or they will be stalked all their long lives.


Kathleen Waters

I keep my name on the books for a few reasons. First, they have to keep seeing my name on the roster and wonder why I'm not attending.

Second, I like having visits from church members. I'm not sure why people are so scared of them. Plus I live in the country and don't get many visitors.

Some years ago the missionaries started visiting and asked if they could help, so I showed them a pile of wood that needed split. I handed them the splitting maul, and told them I needed to go to town. That pair never came back.

A year or so later another set of missionaries stopped by. After the usual chit-chat, they ended up asking why I didn't come to church, and I started telling them why I didn't enjoy it, and how I would rather be working on my farm, and how I thought this is what heaven should be like. I told them I really feel the Spirit when I am digging in the dirt. I went on and on about how boring it is to sit in endless meetings and hear the same stuff over and over.

Pretty hard to argue with that. No need for back and forth argument over doctrine.

Anyway, never saw them again, or anyone else for that matter. Seems like it has been 4 or 5 years. I'm guessing they don't want anyone to hear that a guy can be happier without the church. I'm probably listed as a threat, which seems to accomplish all that people want from resigning.

Anyway, it is getting pretty lonesome around here.

I resigned and it gives me great pleasure to say "hell no" when I'm asked if I'm a member. Living in Utah that question gets asked A LOT (even though it shouldn't), and when traveling it almost always becomes a topic of conversation when they find out I'm from Utah. Gawd it feels good to not be a part of it.

The only power Mormons have over you is what you give them. Membership has no meaning if you don't believe. Resignation is a symbolic act for some, but whether you are on their records or not is pretty silly.

If they bug you, tell them to go away. If they persist, call the police.

You don't need to play their games to leave. You just stop going and stop taking their calls.

Sadly, by remaining a member you do give them something. You LEGALLY give them permission to contact you by any way they normally contact members.

Call the police? Sure, but be prepared to explain why you are objecting to being treated like a member while you are a member.

If you tell someone to leave your property and they refuse,they are trespassing. It does not matter if you are members of the same church, same tennis club, same basketball team or same family.

The police will tell people who have no right to be on your property to leave. You can also get restraining orders against individuals who harass you. They could be co-workers, family members, the father/mother of your child. etc.

Being officially the member of the same church as someone else does not give them permission to trespass on your property after you have told them to leave.

And you have to inform them not to send any one over.

My point is, you can not accuse them of harassment.

Membership has no legal meaning. If you tell them "no contact", then they should not be contacting you. If they visit your house, they are trespassing.

You owe them nothing and they give you nothing, so membership is no more significant than a sticker club in a treehouse.

Why be a member if you do not want to be treated like a member? Membership, in and of itself, may not have the type of standing you are talking about, but it does indicate a willingness to be associated with the place offering a membership.

The issue then comes about in regards to harassment, it has to be unwanted, something hard to prove when you are a member of the organization you claim to be being harassed by, especially if they are doing what they do to other members.

Yes, you can do things to protect yourself even as a member, but being a member takes away many automatic safeguards.

The issue is similar to the federal do not call list. Bet you did not know that if you do business with any company they are exempt from the Federal Do Not Call list because you expressed interest in doing business with the company. Yes, you can then specifically tell the company you don't want to be called, but the automatic protection of the do not call list is gone for 18 months after doing any sort of business with the company.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 07/27/2014 10:10PM by MJ.

You are giving them permission to treat you as a member.

Just saying.

My formerly TBM but now questioning DH was teetering on the brink when a belligerent missionary asked him, "If you aren't going to honor your priesthood commitments, why don't you just resign?" (DH has been inactive since I resigned.)

DH said, "That's enough. Good day, gentlemen," and escorted them to the door.

Indeed, why not resign? I did, years ago.

But DH told me, with tears in his eyes, "It's no longer the church I was born into. I loved and served that church all my life. What has happened to it, that it has become so manipulative and dictatorial?"

He could leave what the church has become without a second thought - but is held back by love of - and loyalty to - the church as it used to be. They are, after all, the same organization. And that's the conundrum.

You joined.

Not caring, does not make you un-join.

You will continue to turn up like a bad penny.

You will always be discussed. Your address will be given to leaders, home teachers and missionaries.

You sound like those people that don't believe the IRS has authority so they don't file taxes...year later, in prison they learn that it WAS worth the hassle to fill out a form.

I joined willingly as a convert and got a piece of paper.( A baptismal certificate.) I resigned willingly as a non-believer and recieved another piece of paper which effectively reversed the first piece of paper. For me, it was about closure.