I mean, a war in Heaven sounds really awesome, with lots of angels battling it out with demons, with flaming swords, until you realize they all have eternal life, and none could die, plus no bodies to inflict damage on, so it would be just a bunch of people standing around taunting each other. Really lame, when you get down to it, and hardly what I would term a war.

With Nerf nukes.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jUbqbpBX1Us

How funny! Never thought of this.

When I was a kid, I didn't understand this, either. So, if no one can be killed or injured, and assuming they didn't take prisoners, how did 1/3 of the hosts of heaven even think they had a chance against the other 2/3? And how did they count a victory in a battle? The other side just got tired out first? Another example of stupid mormon doctrine.

Now, now, that's a loose threat unraveling from your faith--don't pull on it or before you know it--poof!

Along those same lines, I also wondered why Jesus dying was a "sacrifice" for all mankind, since he knew he couldn't die and he was only away on a trip to "hell" which if you are Mormon, is America.

Anagrammy

With black holes and supernovas. How do you think all that matter became disorganized?

forbiddencokedrinker Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> ...it would be just a
> bunch of people standing around taunting each
> other.

Or just sticking their tongues out at each other.

Of course it would mean that the rudest and biggest jerks would be among the elite, which certainly explains a lot about Mormons.

Of course, if this were true, the biggest enclave of mormonism would be in France.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9V7zbWNznbs

My favorite theory is that it's all a hoax. By that theory, most of it becomes more and more unclear as science and logic and reason advances, and you uestion it. The exceptions are authority and sin.

BTW, can it still be called 'heaven' if a war was fought there? Heaven is not all that great if it is not immune to religious wars either.

I was valliant at it because I was born white and reasonably blessed in Zion. But I was not as valiant as others in my family who had strong tesimonies and spiritual experiences more willingness to keep questions in check. I was an embarrassment to my parents because I asked too many questions and was bald until I was two years old which. I should have been MORE valiant to be born with more tact and hair.

You were good at taunting people, but you just were not on the drive them out of heaven to go live in outer darkness forever level of taunting. No wonder Mormons are so insufferable, they had to be the kind of people, who would make you make that kind of choice.

minus the ball.

My kids fight wars everyday to save mankind :)

Everyone knows that Xbox360 is the one true game system.

in the war in heaven? How come no one was a private or maybe a first lieutenant? Was there a great Navy in the "War in Heaven"?

Whiskey_Tango Wrote:
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> Was there a
> great Navy in the "War in Heaven"?


It was all an air war.

There was a navy, but we don't talk about it, as they were quickly sunk, and this is why Satan still rules the seas. It was rather embarressing, having to swim back to shore, but all the sailors were punished by God, by being made to be born in Canada.

Huh?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/04/2012 10:48AM by canadianfriend.

It's why you poor people have to suffer through your eleven months of winter, and constant Moose attacks.

Remember the stories about the person who has down syndrome being the one to bind Satan's left arm?

Wait, how did I miss that faith promoting myth?

So Satan is a "Leftie" and ONLY those with Down's Syndrome can hold him down?

Do other dissabilities also come with special powers?

Can't believe I never heard that.

Maybe they inflicted you to bad soul music. Or maybe they made you think of naked women or men, which was frustrating, because you didn't have equipment yet. Kinda like being in a titty bar...

They just shunned each other. Jesus was apparently a black belt in shunning and Satan only got to brown.

+1! ROFL!

"The lard tells us not to dwell on these things, dear."

But seriously, maybe it was like the Titans movie DW and I just saw a couple of weeks ago. Maybe god was like Liam Neeson tied to a couple of stone pillars.

Reenactment of one of the fierce battles in heaven.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lfPcdGnIK6c

Maybe it was a video game war. "Immortal Kombat"

As a kid I thought the only way a war in heaven would make sense is if the moment we "died" in heaven we were born on earth. It explained why younger generations were more "valiant" than older. We were better fighters than our ancestors. Of course that also meant my kids probably kicked my ass in heaven. My grandkids will probably be Delta Force assassins.

Wow the mental gymnastics started early for me.

It was a Jedi mind trick type of war. They were all standing in front of each other waving a hand in front of each others faces and telling each other what to think. "Believe in Jesus you will."

What a hilarious bunch of stupidity mormonism is. A war in heaven. Why would we want to go to heaven then?

It's in the middle of the Apocalypse, in our future.

Regardless of how it goes down, or whether you believe it, it's not a historic event, yet.

It was already happening in the preexistence with the war in heaven with good and bad coexisting. Also apparently, in the preexistence we already existed, so why is it called "preexistence"?

The more you think about these thing the less they make sense.

Am I the only one?...who sees it this way?

There are sometimes "wars" in my living room (let's stretch it and call it "Heaven"). I have little boys, and lots of them. I'm a single EARTHLY parent (mom).

When the wars start, I intervene, give directions, like, "Work it out!" "Use your words!" or "If you can't solve this together...I will." [That one usually works fast.]

So, Heavenly Father stood there and allowed the war! Hmmmmm, and what about all the Heavenly Mothers? This is my point! They just stood back and allowed it to happen---in THEIR LIVING ROOM??!! NOT LIKELY.

If you have ever seen me in my minivan with all of my (real flesh and blood) children, late for an appointment, literally tossing into the back seats endless McDoubles (with Cheese) napkins and drinks, while stopping a bloody nose, older boy from kicking brothers, and trying with no result to understand why youngest is deathly afraid of McDonald's pickles -- so, he's screaming...you will have proof positive that our "Heavenly Parents" did not stand by and let this happen...after all, we are made in their image, right?

Do any of you let a WAR happen between your children in your homes?