From the time I was a child through adulthood I felt unworthy because I did not measure up to the standards of the church. I carried around guilt and shame. Also, because it was too difficult to confess to priesthood leaders, I lied in almost every interview. This produced more feelings of guilt and shame. Anytime I participated in an ordinance, in the back of my mind I felt that it wasn't going to work because I was unworthy.

Nobody seemed to notice.

After discovering that the church was a lie, all of my guilt, shame and unworthiness was washed away. They created it and I was stupid enough to feed it.

Can one ever measure up? Why do people allow themselves to be measured?

"Be Ye Therefore Perfect"
It's designed to keep you permanently in guilt and shame.

and, I would add to what sonoma said, it is designed to keep you needing the church to gain your salvation.

And so it goes, a vicious circle that goes round and round and round. You truly feel that you are on that rat wheel.

presleynfactsrock Wrote:
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> And so it goes, a vicious circle that goes round
> and round and round. You truly feel that you are
> on that rat wheel.

Yep. No more running on that wheel for me. I'm so glad that I got off of it.

"Ye are saved after all that ye can do"?

And absolutely NO-ONE does all they can do. Hence, under moism, all are lost. The math is obvious.

I thought I was the only one who thought that! DH told me at one time I misinterpreted the gospel. Ha! At least we're both on the same page now.

I see my sister and her husband, both TBMs, in this situation. They are angry, hostile, frightened. They are now in their 70s, served a disastrous foreign mission a few years ago, nearly bankrupting themselves, and only one of their four adult children stayed in the church. They are sad, broke, stuck in a depressed part of the US (couldn't afford to move back to their affluent area), and laboring for the church. I'm brokenhearted for them.

Having been recently bounced out of my home (nov 2013) for having apostate views.....i still struggle with shame, guilt and depression. It's been 8 months after a 30 year gig in the church and marriage. Now it's all over. I'm content in having left the church but still struggle to get some off the brainwashing/conditioning out of my thought process.

I am now wondering if Mark 11:23-25 actually is true. I'm struggling with my faith and find it no surprise that so many...over 40% I believe, become atheists. Having wondered where God is in all of the deception, i find no peace.