I've been dreading this conversation for months/years/decades, but I finally felt the time was right. I asked my wife to simply listen to me without interuption. Then I proceeded to express my inner beliefs and personal thoughts concerning the life energy within DNA that brought about evolution. I also told her I didn't believe in anything JS did and that as a consequence I don't believe anything about the LDS Church (or any organized religion). My personal and heartfelt "testimony" was received much better that I thought. She's always had the opinion that her beliefs and mine are the same. We've been married 44 years. Her main disagreement is that she believes the priesthood and fullness of the gospel was restored by JS. However, she differs from the strict view of TBMs in that she agrees with many of my scientific viewpoints that run counter to established LDS teachings.

When I finished I told her I was very hesitant to have this conversation. Her response was to say, "I love you because of you, not because your beliefs are the same as mine. I love you no matter what. If I stopped loving you because of that I'd be hypocritical as a true believer in Christ." But then she said she does feel bad that we don't believe the same things.

A tremendous weight has been lifted and I actually think our relationship will be even better because I won't have the stress of wondering what her reaction will be - something I've worried about for decades. Our relationship as companions, lovers, best friends and soulmates was further solidified tonight. An undefined barrier between us (which I created) has been eliminated. If it were possible I'd nominate her for sainthood.

Thanks for listening to my story, which I am writing at 3am because of the emotional drain I'm feeling. Luckily, I am retired and don't have to wake up early. My personal tie to the LDS Church is gone. I'm not even going to bother jumping through the clerical hoop of resignation. I'm done!!!!!!

Good morning. Lovely story. I'm happy your wife ended up being on nearly the same page with you. What a relief! You can rest easy. Maybe go out to dinner to celebrate your wonderful marriage :).

Concerning her feeling bad about not sharing the exact same beliefs, I think she'll feel better with time. Her response showed great care, resolution, and love--she'll be okay. I think talking about it more will help.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/23/2014 06:07AM by demoneca.

Congratulations to both you and your wife Tom!

I admire how both of you handled the conversation. And, I agree with demoneca--it calls for a celebratory night out. :-)

What a loving response you got! You are a very lucky man. Best wishes to you as you move forward.

It must be so wonderful to find out that you got the real deal when you found your wife. But I'm sure you already knew and that's why you could finally tell her. So happy for you.

Giver her a big hug! Let her know that she is far more to you than the church or her beliefs in the church.

Lucky man.

Lovely, and thanks for sharing. Wishing you both much additional joy in your future years together.

That is awesome! You are a lucky man.

Congrats!! Enjoy living life authentically!

Find ways to reward her just for letting you be you.

You are an extremely fortunate man!

Thank you all for your positive and affirming responses. This site is an incredible support system!!!!

Good for you, buddy. Sending you best wishes!

Looks like you can't call her a TBM anymore, since her beliefs take a back seat to her love for you. Everyone knows that a TRUE Believing Mormon would threaten divorce.