A young, new pastor at my church asked me why exmos talked about LD$ inc being so brutal. I have him the first secret handshake and then said, "Rather than reveal the first token of the Aaronic Priesthood I would suffer my life to be taken." I then made the penalty by slashing my throat.

He said, "Holy sh*t!"

I said, "Exactly!"

Right after I decided to leave, I told my (atheist) boyfriend. He had wondered why I had been withdrawn for days after I came back from my endowment, but I didn't want to talk about it and he didn't push it.

He could not believe his ears! I felt so embarrassed telling him I actually participated but he didn't judge me. At times, I still judge me for not being like "um, no" when that green apron appeared out of the pouch.

I wish I had been one to walk out of that ridiculousness. Instead I soldiered on, dazed and confused. I remember the car ride home, both of us sitting there, staring blankly.

It was near impossible to leave, though. Both our parents were there, as well as some ward members, I think. Leaving wasn't an option that crossed my mind.

I didn't say anything about the temple until we were out, now I've told our kids about. I esp went into detail telling my oldest child. I'm sooo glad they don't have to go through that BS.

It just absolutely felt dreamlike from the time that stupid apron appeared. I felt numb, though I did nearly laugh when the baker hats appeared. I couldn't believe it. I felt detached from everything, which was probably good.

In the celestial room, I just wanted to go "what the f--k was that?" to everyone. They were all acting so normal! Of course, I didn't say anything.

No wonder they ask you if you want to leave at the start, when you have no idea what is about to happen to you!

"Wasn't that the most spiritual experience you've ever had?"

I was atheist for sure right away. My shelf collapsed.

It would seem you were strong enough to have walked out, but you also probably have graciousness and were impacted by the social consequences not only for yourself, but your hosts and sponsors.

The Mormon temple process isn't an accident, it has been polished over time.

The abuse of Trust is horrific and part of the reason why the Mormon Church and most Mormons are not worthy of trust. Thry are worthy of contempt though.

A friend of mine ran out of her endowment! With her mom and her ward there. Her mom was concerned about her and followed her out the session so did a female temple worker. My friend told them that it was too much for her and that she needed to be alone to take all that in. So my friend took her scriptures and went to her car and drove into the forest to pray. She prayed there in her car and read scriptures and returned to the temple. She didn't go back into a session but went to the temple cafeteria where her mom was waiting for her and they ate something together.
The next day she went through the temple and got her endowment. Now looking back how did the veil workers do it? Every day the name of the day changes in the temple. Did she get a new new name or did they let her go through with the new name from yesterday. So after runner out the first time now she really loves it and she says she learns so much from it every time.

Last year on this ex Mormon board there was a temple name shout out and it felt good posting mine out loud Deborah hmm like everyone else that day.

None of us could have been prepared for what happened. The most I knew about the temple was garments and white clothes. The fact that everyone in the room, including my best friend, was making the gestures turned the ceremony into a mob event with mob mentality. Given the circumstances, no one could have said, "Ah, excuse me, what in God's name did I just do?" Or, " Hold your horses, I refuse yo disembowel myself! Just let me get the fuck out of here!" Sort of reminds me of the Third Reich rally at Nuremburg.

I've never encountered anyone in my exmo life that wanted to know.

Not even for money?
;)

You can buy anything in this world for money.

I tell anyone who wants to know, and at every opportunity about the death threats (or suicide pact if you want to look at it that way) that were a part of the pre-1990 mormon temple ceremony. That ceremony is what confirmed to me more than anything, that I had been a member of a cult as opposed to a valid religion. Tell that story every chance you get. That ceremony is so wicked that today's youth who are TBM will not believe it ever happened. If not for the internet, the Mormon cult would still be inflicting that god awful ceremony on today's young adults.

I don't remember the first time but I remember it felt weird to shed those last traces of guilt.

I have found telling about the temple can really liven up a cocktail party. You hear a lot of , "NO Way! That's bat shit crazy. You didn't really do that did you?" So glad I went through when we were still slitting our throats and gutting ourselves.

about the time my exmo therapist told me about this board. And I talked A LOT. My TBM daughter (she was anti at the time) knows everything about it and knows my super secret name and her father's. Of course, you can't really "get it" unless you experience it. Somehow she is a TBM now.

When my sister got married (17 months older than I), they left for the SL temple at about 4;30 a.m. They didn't get back to Brigham City until about 5 p.m. (wedding breakfast, too). I saw the look on her face and I decided I would NEVER do my endowment the same day as my wedding and never a live session. I did get to experience a live session at Idaho Falls some years after I married.

In the last year or so before my dad died, he told me "We were there ALL DAY and it was SO BIZARRE." He didn't serve a mission, so they did the endowment and marriage at the SL temple, too, on their wedding day.

I can't imagine doing the endowment on my wedding day. We were in the temple maybe an hour the day we got married. It would have ruined my wedding to have done all of on the day I got married.

There was no flexibility at the temple where I was married. It all had to be done on the same day if you were female. No exceptions. All three ordinances, wedding breakfast, and reception.

I was too tired to comprehend the blood oaths or care. My exhaustion wiped out most memories of my wedding day.

When my wife and I went through it was 1968. There was no film; it was live. I had an idea of what was about to happen but not all. My wife had no idea at all.She was totally ignorant of what was going to happen. She didn't even know about garments because she was the only member in her family. I was such a TBM at the time that I swallowed it all and felt lucky to be one of the fortunate few. We were two who were chosen if we but followed the law. We went to St. George and then went to SLC. When we got to SLC it was a Saturday and they were doing priesthood sessions. We didn't go through the temple there on that day and my wife told me just the other day that she was so very glad not to have been able to go through the endowment again for another because she was totally freaked out by our own. We had all the signs and tokens. Later after some study I read about the Danites and I thought surely God would have these men to carry out retribution upon those who dishonored their temple vows. Boy was I misguided! I have told a few about the temple and they are amazed. Ain't Satan a wonder how he works amongst us humans!

Now my husband will bring it up at parties and people think it is a hoot.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/22/2014 06:18PM by Susan I/S.

Anytime someone asks me.

I don't usually get a chance to talk about what goes on in the temple, but I have had several frank discussions with my children about what the endowment ceremony is, what happens at a temple wedding, and about how washings and anointings require people to get undressed. I want them to be aware of and educated about what happens inside of Mormon temples. I think they need to know where I come from and why I consider Mormonism a danger to them.

It's not a topic that comes up very often in regular life, though. I would happily tell anyone about it, if they asked. No reason to keep it a secret anymore. In fact, there are plenty of reasons not to. ;)

One of the first things I did after telling my wife that I no longer believed in TSCC was to tell her my super secret (oops, I meant sacred) new name.

It's Noah.

I sold my tokens with the accompanying name and sign for a beer. I was at a party and never had been with that crowd. They thought I was a nark cuz of some of the other stuff that was going on... Anyway, to lighten the mood I asked them if they would bless the beer and the goods. I said the prayer and it was hillarious! Then everyone else started praying and blessing the beer and the other goods. We drank our beer and played beer pong.

I live on the East Coast near NYC, so every time the Book of Mormon musical comes up, I talk about it. People always have a thousand questions and I'm happy to discuss my crazy life as a Mormon and warn people to stay away!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/23/2014 12:36AM by lexaprosavedme.

I was just thinking this the other day, but I came to the conclusion that I wouldn't do that out of respect for those people who I know and love that are inside the church still.

No one ever asked me because unlike Utah mormons , the rest of

the world could care less about the Mormon church because they

think its a creepy crazy religion. Anywho..... I couldn't wait

to blab the secrets so I did at every opertunity... people gasped.

I enjoyed it.

The first time I revealed part of the ceremony was at my "love council". I used my temple name without telling them when I quoted Stephen in my defense.