What sort of disclaimers do you think should be included with the BoM? I'll start.

"All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental."

"Altough the book includes no such foolishness, in some instances, belief in this book may result in irrational desires to don robes, veils, and baker's hats, make secret oaths, give secret handshakes, and pantomime one's own death. If these desires persist, please consult a physician."

"All the smiting in this book is done by trained professionals. Do not attempt to replicate these at home."

Hah!

"We reserve the right to perpetuate racist stereotypes of America's indigenous peoples. It is our right to do so because it is our religious beliefs. We reserve the right to use American Indians as our mascot to represent how America can fail if we don't worship god. At least we don't picket funerals, we only proxy baptize Holocaust victims."

This book is considered to be the cornerstone of Mormonism.
If you find anything in this book that has to do with mormonism, will you please let the rest of the members know what that may be?

No animals were hurt during the creation of this work, but some of their names and identities may have been altered to protect the innocence of Mormon readers. Horses might not be 4legged critters, God only knows what cureloms....

WARNING: Brain and soul anomalies may result from perusal of this publication. Known complications include a churning in the chest.

Jo&Co accepts no liability for any degree of brain damage caused by use of this product.

May cause drowsiness. Do not read or listen to this book while driving.

Do not operate heavy machinery?

Digital Version available for seer stone.

> Digital Version available for seer stone.

I hope they fix the brightness issue with Seer Stone version 2.0 so I can use it in daylight. It's getting annoying having to bury my face in a hat all the time.

Seriously funny. This whole thread is hysterical though.

Harmful - Not For Human Consumption

"for erections lasting longer than four hours, please seek medical attention"

If you will read, pray with real intent, you will become delusional to think you have actually have had a spiritual experience, but lo and behold it will only be gas. Give yourself an enema.

Objects in this book are faker than they appear.

"If death occurs, discontinue product use."

"On second thought, if death occurs, send your teens to the Temple font for further instructions..."

This is a true story. The events to this book took place somewhere, we can't agree upon in 600bc. At the request of the survivors, the names have been changed. Out of respect for the dead, the rest has been told exactly as it happened.

WARNING: Chloroform in print. MT

Warning:Do not think while reading this book. May cause dizziness, cognitive dissonance, and structural collapse of mental shelving.

Do not try to follow the instructions for building submarines.

"If you disapprove of what you read from this book, please wait...we'll change it to meet your needs."

Our apologies to women, it seems that the book(s) containing their achievements and contributins to the great society was/were lost. But we have Relief society and GBH's wife says "she's Happy!"

Do not eat. Not a toy. Read at your own risk. Use only in a well-ventilated area. Do not store on shelving – may cause collapse. May contain nuts.

In case of accidental comprehension, seek professional assistance or contact a poison control center immediately.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/22/2014 10:18AM by frogdogs.

The Book of Mormon is yours today FREE!!!!


*Disclaimer*
While the book is in fact free, you will be forced to pay 10% of your income for the rest of your life.
In some cases this book has caused guilt, confusion and seperation of families.

"This is the most correct book on earth...inspired and translated by the power of God, except for the 8000 changes we have made in it so far..."

"And if there are any faults, they are the faults of men, for men did write this book, and not God. But behold, we know no fault, for we have our heads planted firmly up our asses."

"The veracity of this book has been verified by a professional team who, rather unfortunately, quit after the first word of 1 Nephi 1:1. Before resigning, they certified that the word "I" exists in the English language.

"In the view of the publisher, this should be sufficient evidence for the reader."

"I liked it so much, I bought the company!"- Big 15

Warning: This book cannot overpower any skepticism. You will only "know" that it is true if you first "believe" that it is true.

We retain all rights to any action figures fashioned after the manner of the characters described which includes, costumes, animals and/or weapons .

Any views or opinions presented in this book are solely those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of the *church*.


*company* edited to *church*



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/23/2014 04:06PM by mostcorrectedbook.

Dispose of properly.