I have been an occasional contributor here for almost two decades, although, I rarely start a thread. I thought it was fitting to do so today because my family and I have come to a major stepping stone in our recovery from Mormonism. Our somewhat perilous journey out of Mormonism has taken almost twenty years to complete. It appears that we have finally made it out with our marriage and family intact.

Next month my youngest of four children will be getting married. The next generation of our family will have a new and promising beginning. Our daughter has chosen to be married on our family farm surrounded by the beautiful gardens she helped plant when she was a little girl. Her father and I couldn't be more honored.

I just want to thank everyone here who, through the years, have given me and each other kindness, support, understanding, and most of all, acceptance to all when there was none offered. You helped more than you know.

With much love,

Polly Bodell



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 07/21/2014 01:43PM by braindead.

Congrats! What a wonderful place for a wedding....!

Seriously jealous you made it out intact as a family (my wife is a major TBM).

We love happy endings. So happy for you.

What wonderful news, Polly!

You are giving hope to the many who struggle here with patience for the long haul of cult recovery for themselves and freedom for their loved ones.

You are proving that it can be done and that truth and love always win.

Thanks for sharing!

Kathleen Waters

Wonderful!!!

Very happy for you and somewhat...jealous.

My daughter is engaged and plans for a temple wedding.

I've thought about trying for a recommend, but that would just be lying.

I will be sitting in the courtyard, of course, my TBM wife, parents, and in-law will be heartbroken and embarassed, my daughter will "understand", but will feel her day has been tarnished.

It will be an awkward, sad day for me and my dear daughter, instead of the joyous celebration it should be. Hopefully it won't be as bad as I imagine, but my heart is going to break, I think.

So happy for you and your family, Polly! Your courage will result in much happier and freer lives, especially for your grandchildren and theirs and on and on. Enjoy a beautiful wedding.

Former recommend holder, my heart is breaking for you. I don't know what to say to comfort you. I would say if anyone implies that you are to blame for your absence at the ceremony, make it very clear that it was certainly not your choice but that of the cruel and controlling mormon church. I may be facing this same situation soon and my sister has already said to me that it is my choice. WTF? Wishing you a tolerable day and maybe even some joyful moments.

Has your daughter been through the temple yet? I'd try to have a conversation with her after she goes through. If she thinks it's the most amazing place in the world and has an amazing experience, fine. If she's open to discussing and finds it bizarre, weird, lacking spirituality, etc..., ask her why she thinks that is. I think I would have been out before my mission if someone had been willing to sit down with me and talk about the stupid ceremony...

Happy to hear you accomplished what you set out to do. Sounds like the fall-out was minimal, at least, at this point.
Congrats on the wedding!

Fantastic!

We see so many sad stories it is wonderful to see such a happy one! And how very special that they chose your garden that she helped to plant and watched grow. Very fitting. I hope you all have a WONDERFUL day :)

Congratulations! But now I'm just jealous that you have a family farm.

Thank you, everyone, for your kind thoughts! It has been a dream come true to have my daughter's garden wedding at our farm!

HopefulHusband - If you love each other, hang in there. I was out for ten years while my DH was TBM. Ironically, we came very close to divorce after my DH left. Even if your spouse eventually leaves the risk of divorce is still very real as she struggles to redefine herself. Just keep loving her!

former recommend holder - I can't imagine being intentionally left out of such an important moment in my child's life! I'm sorry that you will be treated this way. It wasn't until my kids started leaving home for college that they really began questioning. Each of my children expressed that, because of me, they felt they had the support to question and know for themselves. Always be there for your daughter, the time may come when she will depend on you to help her through her own exit.

ain't got no name yet - We built the farmhouse and barn ourselves in the middle an old pear orchard in an area called Salmon Creek, Washington. It's a lot of hard work but I love it! These days, DH and I spend most of our time in Hawaii, however, many years down the road we plan to retire to the farm. I hope you get your dream someday, it's a great way of life.

Congratulations! A garden wedding on the family farm sounds absolutely lovely!