I was in rs today and the teacher brought up single women. She told them to be happy because even if they didn't marry in this life, you could in the next. Has this ever made anyone feel better about being single?

11 years later. No. I don't know of ONE person who takes comfort in thinking they'll have a husband in the next life. I always felt anyone saying that was being condescending.

Poor taste. It ranks up there with telling someone who is grieving over a friend or relative who has died (especially if if it was an accident) that "they are in a better place." With that kind of reasoning everyone should just go out and commit suicide.

She also said that women whose husbands did not have the priesthood should know that their husbands will have a chance to repent after they die and get it then. Sometimes it's all I can do to hold in the laughter.

Saying that is in poor taste.

Calling them up front and putting them in the spotlight is absolutely despicable.

Years ago, I was (the token single sister) counselor in a RS presidency. One Sunday I gave a lesson in RS where I wrote Husband on one side of the top of the chalk board and Wife on the other side. I asked the sisters to tell me chores or responsibilities that their husbands did and what they as wives did as I listed them below each title. After getting two long lists written, I explained that single sisters don't have a partner to help them with these chores and responsibilities, but must do them on their own. I heard gasps in the room; these women had never considered such a thing.

I was also the recipient of that patronizing, "you'll have an opportunity to get a husband in the next life" in a combined RS/P-hood meeting in front of the group. That was NOT comforting.

What if you responded that you don't want to be a sister wife in the afterlife? That will get them thinking.

Gay people get told this too... and no, it has never actually made anyone feel better. Just like a second class citizen, but not better.

It used to frustrate and anger me that marriage was always the only acceptable state for women. While LDS, I went through two thoroughly awful marriages, one more abusive than the other.

While I don't have any bad feelings towards men in general, I have no desire to get married again. I'm enjoying peace, freedom, and coffee, as well as the ability to have whatever kind of spiritual life I want.

But, in a sex cult, people have to be in relationships where they'll breed more members. Our main value to TSCC, I think, is as breeders -- and agents to provide sex for the men. I was never OK with that, even at my most-brainwashed.

Plus, they just don't know what to do with single women, especially divorcees. The married women and the leaders believe that we're desperate, sex-starved creatures who will automatically seduce every married man in the ward. We make the married men very nervous and they avoid us like we have the plague. For years, my home teachers refused to show up -- even the geezerly high priests -- because they just didn't want to deal with a divorced female parent. Pleas for help with household repairs, moving, etc. were largely ignored. All I had to do was show up at church on Sunday and the gossip would start: who is she dating? Why doesn't she stay home and just pray for God to send her a good man? Was that a blue SUV in her driveway last Saturday? She got home after midnight?? Really? She's been out on Friday nights twice this month now -- somebody report her to the bishop!

The single men tend to view us as flavors in the candy store, ego-boosters, or (if we're young, hot, and financially stable enough) potential wives who will provide them with sex, home-cooked meals, clean laundry, step-parenting services, a second income, a nice home, sex, back rubs, emotional support, and sex. (At least, that's what most of them were like when I was active on the single adult circuit a few years ago). Few of the ones I met were interested in me as a person -- it was all about what I could do for them.

I completely agree with you icedtea, however, the married women view almost any other woman, married or not, as a threat. If they are that insecure, imagine how shallow their marriages must be.

I have two TBM sisters that have never married - more than likely they never will. Over the years they have been increasingly marginalized. They have struggle to find any real sense of identity inside or outside of TSCC. It's heartbreaking.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/21/2014 12:06PM by braindead.

"The single men tend to view us as flavors in the candy store, ego-boosters, or (if we're young, hot, and financially stable enough) potential wives who will provide them with sex, home-cooked meals, clean laundry, step-parenting services, a second income, a nice home, sex, back rubs, emotional support, and sex. (At least, that's what most of them were like when I was active on the single adult circuit a few years ago). Few of the ones I met were interested in me as a person -- it was all about what I could do for them."

That has been my experience outside the church, with nonmormon men as well. Sometimes, guys like to cook. But they leave the kitchen looking like a war zone as if the kitchen cleans itself up by magic.

Right now, I have an ex who is trying to get ex-sex out of me. While I agree with him that there really isn't any good reason not to hook up with him, the fact that it's his idea and he thinks he's going to just wear me down until I consent makes me madder than hell and, frankly, not wanting to hook up. Because he could give a flip about what I want, my needs, or my opinions on these matters. He's asked me why not. I tell him, "Because this is all about you and what you want and you don't give a damn about what I want." And then he changes the subject and acts like I didn't just say that.

The more frequently I am disrespected by men like that, the less interested I am in dating at all. I'm just sick of being treated like a sexbot with no thoughts or feelings or needs of her own.

I heard the idea presented in church that women who do not marry before they die will be given a worthy husband in the next life. I thought to myself: hmmm, looks like Heavenly Father is an equal opportunity God! Then I put it in the "mysteries" column!

I don't know if it's any comfort to anyone.
It's an interesting notion, that's for sure. Mormonism likes to tie up all the lose ends and make a tidy package for everyone!

Not at all. It was horrifying as my expectation was that I would be someone's plural wife. I would rather be single for eternity than be wife #19.