Posted by:
CA girl
(
)
Date: February 17, 2012 08:38PM
Being 25 when I went on a mission and fluent in Spanish, the MP put me in charge of some of the harder-to-handle sisters. Babysitting really. My trainer was OK but then:
I was in a trio with a sister who read us her letters she wrote home, 90 percent of which were lies. She would grab her breast and wave it at the elders when they questioned what she was doing and said "Elder, if you don't like it, you can suck my left one."
Next companion never stopped talking. Ever. Non-stop from the time she got up til bed. The MP had to transfer her every month. Her last companion went out, bought her some classical music and a Walkman and said "Hermana, I know you are going home in six weeks and even though it's a mission rule you can't use one of these, I think since you've worked so hard and are so close to home, that it's OK for you to listen to the music you love." Finally, Hermana Chatty Pants shut up. Then her companion felt bad because she'd broken the mission rules and confessed to the MP who replied "Good move - I wish I'd thought of that months ago."
Next companion was a native Spaniard who told everyone she had a metal plate in her head from an accident and had to carry a card when she flew because her metal head set off airport metal detectors. She ended up having to go home a month early for gallbladder surgery so instead of going to the mission home, we took her to the airport ourselves. She went through the metal detector just fine - no alarms. Seriously, who tells people they have a plate in their head when they don't?
Next companion would sit on our balcony at night, wearing a bat-shaped silver ring she called her "Friend of Bats" ring. She'd wave her hand around, calling the bats to her. She refused to speak in any discussion - she was too frightened - even though she'd been in Spain about 8 months by this time. She had stomach problems from getting really sick on bad olive oil in her first area and so we ate brownie dough for dinner every night. Believe it or not, I actually liked her. She had a really good heart and didn't belong in the meat grinder of a mission. She'd been goth before her mission so I got her a gargoyle for a wedding present. Plus, she hated our MP and said if he ever became a GA, she'd know without a doubt the church wasn't true. He became a GA about 10 years ago and I keep hoping to bump into her on one of these boards, since we've lost touch. Hermana B, if you read this PLEASE find me on Facebook. You know who I am from the brownie dough story!!!
About the time she went home early (and terrified because she was from Utah and knew she'd be pilloried), the MP confided in me that fully 25 percent of the sisters in our mission were on anti-depressants. A few months later, he went home and the new MP didn't need me to babysit so I my last 3 companions were wonderful.
Those are just my companions. I haven't even told you the story of the gorgeous former model who took off her nametag and flirted relentlessly with the gay guy they were teaching, hoping to turn him, so she could have a baptism. He fell in love with her, got baptized and then she dumped him and went home to her RM. He went back to being gay and hated Mormons ever after.
Best year and a half of my life...or something like that.