1. The Lord sets a bar on fire... the church is true!
http://witnessinginwindycity.blogspot.com/

"Monday night, we're out to dinner with a member and his son at a Mexican restaurant and bar, and after 30 or so minutes of waiting for a table to open up in the packed restaurant, we finally get seated on the outside patio.

We eventually get served and are just finishing our meal, when fire alarm sirens start blaring inside the building. From our table, we could see into the restaurant where smoke was pouring from the bar. Drinks half made and other glasses waiting to be filled, just sat there idle on the counter while a dozen waiters and tenders frantically hustled around, some trying to fan the smoke and others trying to usher people out of the building.



THAT'S A REAL SHAME.........the BAR'S ON FIRE.



There was no apparent sign of danger (no flame) so we Mormons just sat back and enjoyed the show, seeing people watch their prospects of tequila and lime go up in smoke.


Word of wisdom.......that's where it's at, people.


Soon, waves of customers started filing from the building, all the while we could see one large guy through the window who just stood there with his phone over his head, filming the action and narrating the scene.


REALLY? REALLY?


Half the people filing out were still holding their prized margaritas, while the other half stood there glass-less as well as hopeless for an eventual sip on the rocks.


PITY.


Well, The Lord works in mysterious ways, apparently.


The fire department and police eventually showed up, did their thing, and in the end, it was all fine, but there were definitely less drinks served that night than was expected:)


#heavensscore"


2. I can never get over how adults in TSCC are kept in such a childlike state.. playing duck duck goose at 20+ years old!
http://sisterambernorth.blogspot.com/

"The institute teacher Liz invited everyone in institute to come so Glen and Ryan were also there! They got to see what "Mormon fun" is all about. We even played duck duck goose and hands up stands up! You are NEVER to old for duck duck goose! :) it was fun! "


3. They really beat these missionaries self-esteem down, don't they?
http://sisterjamiespackman.blogspot.com/

"Before my mission, as many of you know, I thought I was the bomb. I
thought I was awesome and I had everything going for me. Coming here
has been a complete eye opener for me. I have found that I am nothing
compared to who I thought I was. I am not really that cool, I am not
funny, I am not awesome, I am pretty mediocre. But with the help of
The Lord, I can do a lot more. He makes up for everything that I am
not. And how grateful I am that He does."


4. It's a miracle!

"We figured out that we lived about 3 miles away from the chapel, and by the time we were able to get out of the church it was about 8:30p.m. Mission rules are that if you aren't teaching a lesson you need to be in your apartment by 9:00. :) We knew that we needed to go decently fast so we could get home on time. So we started running. :) We would run until we couldn't run anymore and the even then we would walk as fast as we could. We were carrying our bags and books that we needed to take home to our apartment and When we got about half way it started raining. Neither Sister Raccuia and I were wearing shoes that were made for running in the rain, so when we got home we both had sores and blisters. The whole time we were running home we sang as loud as we could. :) We found a lot of strength and motivation in some of our very favorite hymns. We sang "I Believe in Christ", "I know my Redeemer lives", "Count your blessings" and "I stand all amazed." It was one of my very favorite moments so far on my mission. :) running down the street bearing my testimony through some of my most favorite songs. We were totally determined to be exactly obedient, and I believe that it was an absolute miracle but we walked in the door to our apartment at EXACTLY 9:00!! Sister Raccuia and I were so unbelievably happy. :) We jumped up and down, soaking wet, sore, beyond excited, and so grateful. It is literally a miracle that we got home at exactly 9:00."

Puke, PUKE, Vomit... (I am horrified that that I use to think the same way...- another lifetime ago.) Hope she wakes up sooner than later.

The smugness of the bar fire story is SO Christlike.

Yes, God does indeed work in mysterious ways, Sister Parker, as he did went he sent a lightning strike to scorch this Moroni statue:

http://www.jasonbennion.com/images/moroni_lightning-burns.jpg

As for Duck Duck Goose, I've been known to start a game now and again with my students, but the kids tend to lose interest in it once they get beyond say, third grade. Older kids like dodge ball, kick ball, throwing a football around, shooting some hoops, etc.

This is the new standard of that supreme combination of smugness, arrogance, and immaturity that could only come from a Mormon.

There really should be a new word for this. What a dick.

"There is no one as stupid as the truly arrogant…
and no one as arrogant as the truly stupid."

"There was no apparent sign of danger (no flame) so we Mormons just sat back and enjoyed the show, seeing people watch their prospects of tequila and lime go up in smoke."

So, I suppose smoke inhalation presents no danger to magical morgbots. Yep, just sit there and watch. Sheesh.

Number 3 - my mission president would say as much. That it didn't matter if you were the quarterback of the football team, star of the chess club, a college graduate, from a rich family, if you'd travelled ... NOTHING you did mattered, none of your accomplishments were worth anything now. You were a missionary and all were equal because missionary work was different from anything else you'd done so all missionaries start at the same point.