The topic closed while I was at work:

http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,1312933

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I thought about this topic while I was driving to work this morning.

I had been saying in the original thread that many relationships begin with the Church as its foundation and as the main thing in common between two people.

Someone who seemed to be the perfect eternal companion from a TBM perspective may not be the perfect companion for an ex-Mo, even if they have both left the Church.

I would say that this might be a good exercise for Tal. Imagine that you were never Mormon and that your ex-wife was never Mormon either.

You meet her in a bar and spend the night talking, just as you did with the lady you really clicked with.

Would you click the same way now? Would she 'get you' the way the other lady did?

If not, then perhaps that's your answer. It may be that as Mormons, you were perfect for each other. As ex-Mormons, maybe not so much.

I think that every relationship that I have in my life, from family relationships to friendships have been affected by how much my thinking has changed over the past few years.

I always think that I'm the same person I was before I left, but really, if I think about it honestly, I've changed a lot. How I think is completely different and the type of person I would need in my life for a fulfilling relationship (for friendships, as I don't do romance) has probably changed as well.

Greyfort

That's a good question. The truth is that in the scenario you describe, my judgment might be blurred by her physical beauty. Maybe it was blurred in the past, too, by that, and by her devotion to the same religion I was devoted to (which I thought signalled compatibility).

I also think that ex-Mormons should exercise caution in trying to pull Mormon spouses out, when they otherwise enjoy happy marriages, for the reasons you describe.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/04/2014 06:15PM by Tal Bachman.