in front of each other! it is much easier to be rude and insensitive to each other if we dont have to look the other person in the eyes. some here "talk" in a manner which they would NEVER do in a face to face situation. I for one do "speak" on this forum as i would IRL.....
JUST SAYIN!

Thanks for that. I am often dismayed when debate becomes a personal attack. It seems pretty unnecessary to me.

Agree, good post.

I'm actually constantly surprised by how civil and polite this board is. I mean, sure we talk about naughty topics and use foul language and all, but considering the number of posters on this board and the amount of activity it sees, the rate of personal attacks and flame wars is remarkably low.

...people speak here online the way they WISH they could in person. There are all these rules about manners and politeness and what is proper to say. It can make our face-to-face communications fake. Hey, but as long as we don't make anyone uncomfortable, right? Those rules weren't created by people who want to be authentic. They were created by people who don't want to be called on their bullshit. "Boo-hoo, you're being rude and insensitive!"

There are places, like New York City, where they don't have the time to play conversation games. They just say it, good or bad. But at least you're not left trying to decode the real meaning. You don't accidentally think someone likes you when they don't, or that they've promised to do something when they haven't.

Personally, I think a lot of recovering Mormons need to go live somewhere like NYC for a while in order to get over their excessive politeness and overconcern for how other people will react if they say what's actually on their mind. Mormonism breeds conflict avoiders and passive-agressive game players. It breeds wimps.

"How do I get out of ___________ ?"

"How can I tell her ______________?"

You just TELL them. Yes, they'll get upset. Yes, they might not like the real you. But it's either that or you keep holding yourself down, making yourself more mentally ill.

Better to be rude and insensitive than spend the rest of your life being misunderstood and mistreated.

There's a difference between being straight up, frank, honest, straight forward, etc., and being hostile, making personal attacks, etc.

I agree that mormon conditioning to avoid contention at all costs handicaps some of us. It's great that it's often pointed out that we can learn to be more honest and just say what we feel.

I'm not an overly sensitive type and do find this place to get mostly very civil, but there are exceptions -- very clear exceptions.

i deal with people in NY and the surrounding areas. some are real rude, some are real nice.... "they" may "tell it like it is(the way they see IS) BUT RUDENESS has nothing to do with speaking your mind. name calling and other acts of rudeness is rude whether are from NY or the Midwest. name calling and generaly rudeness is not used often in IRL conversation...usually, well certainly not around me or to me.
"It breeds wimps"....well not here:
... well my direct(limited to 2 tbm's) interaction with a TBM in MIami almost led to me wiping the ground with his face.... i walked away from a physical confrontation with a freight handling company owner that the company i worked with used....because he was being rude to my face... i held back for a couple reasons... needed job and i dont like to hurt people. but for those reasons.... oh boy....

maybe the percentage of people who speak with impunity is small, but i sure wish we ALL would speak as though the other person was in front of them. hey one can wish cant they? :)

Meh... I'm painfully socially awkward in large groups of strangers. If I spoke to you all as though you were right in front of me then I'd be hiding in the corner all the time. ;)

It is possible to be genuine without being an arrogant, know-it-all jackass or without resorting to personal attacks and name calling.

+1...my feelings exactly.

It would be interesting to be in an online forum where everyone had webcams.

And we should be sure to include those that tout advanced college degrees as if that means their snide comments using unsupported fallacious claims in a condescending tone don't stink up the whole board.

That "how sad" post by get her done was clearly a condescending disrespectful attack on those that believe in science, but I am sure the magical thinkers here will never admit it.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/02/2011 03:39PM by MJ.

This makes my ass itch, or is it my ears? ;)

Ron

No wonder most deities stop caring. Disassociating is the only way to survive.

Hahahhaha!!!! RJ are you related to any of the Roman gods?

and be condescending right back..ahh the ole kettle and pot issue.. it seems to me that you would not say half the things you do or in the tone you say things in front of my face in particular and other people in general.

And I get attacked for returning like behavior.

Yeah, right. Get her done was clearly picking a fight by being insulting go pick on them for picking the fight, not the ones that decided to pick up some of the mud and sling it BACK.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/02/2011 03:55PM by MJ.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/02/2011 03:55PM by MJ.

And that was the START OF A THREAD so there was NO PROVOCATION for such condescending behavior.

I think that MJ missed the point again. Oh well..........

get her done missed mine.

That "how sad" post of your was clearly being condescending to those that believed in science. To bad all those advanced degrees of yours don't allow you to see that.

Oh, that's right, it seems the people that believe in magical thinking are exempt.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/02/2011 03:35PM by MJ.