I promise I am not being a perv (I quit the church and have never had sex with a virgin so I have no idea) but I am absolutely intrigued by what TBM's experience on their wedding night, especially if they are both virgins.

Did you both enjoy it?

Did you know what you were doing?

Was there foreplay?

Did you both Organsm?

Did things "fit" properly?

Did you feel guilty or or did you try to refrain from certain "sinful" acts or thoughts?

Did the church somehow effect your lovemaking in some way?

Was it what you expected? Better, worse?

Were you or your spouse just completely clueless as to what do or did it just come naturally?

Did you do anything cheesy like say a prayer beforehand?

Was there anything surprising that happened?

I'll be open about my first time. First of all I couldn't get it up, cause I was so damn nervous and she said, "oh I don't think you are ready." It just killed my self esteem. The second time I finally did, but the stupid condom was too small. When we finally did do the deed it wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be (maybe I'm just a natural) but it took several attempts before I could orgasm (yes, I am a dude AND straight). I think I was actually good at foreplay too, probably because I spent so much time as a TBM making out that I didn't just go straight for the kill, when I did have sex.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/24/2011 04:45PM by Susan I/S.

I am a nevermo, but my husband is an exmo. Before we married, he had only been with his ex wife, who is apparently so loose that screwing her was like shooting a hotdog down a hallway. I was a virgin when we married and remained so until two weeks after our wedding. We waited until after the wedding because I got a visit from Aunt Flow the day of our wedding. I wouldn't have wanted to have sex in the B&B where we stayed, anyway. Wasn't sure if we would make a mess or something.


Did you both enjoy it?- I think he did, but honestly, it hurt me. I couldn't stand it for very long.

Did you know what you were doing?- I didn't, but he did.

Was there foreplay?- Oh yes. It's impossible for me to have sex without foreplay, even years later.

Did you both Orgasm?- No.

Did things "fit" properly?- Things "fit" properly once I learned that I needed a lot of foreplay. Also, I find it easier to have sex at certain times of the month.

Did you feel guilty or or did you try to refrain from certain "sinful" acts or thoughts?- No.

Did the church somehow affect your lovemaking in some way? No.

Was it what you expected? Better, worse? I guess it was. We lived together for six months and did everything during that time but have intercourse.

Were you or your spouse just completely clueless as to what do or did it just come naturally? Not for him. I sort of instinctively picked up the rhythm and later learned to move in ways that he likes.

Did you do anything cheesy like say a prayer beforehand?- No, but I am a nevermo anyway.

Was there anything surprising that happened?- I didn't expect it to hurt as much as it did. Practice has made it a lot more fun than it was the first time.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/24/2011 03:07PM by knotheadusc.

knotheadusc Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> .... screwing her was like shooting a hotdog down a hallway.

ROFL! I nearly snarfed my iced tea when I read that! I needed a good laugh.

As you might have guessed, there's no love lost between me and my husband's ex wife. She's a holier than thou TBM, but she has five kids by three different men and cuts out her kids' fathers every time her relationships fail. I tend to be pretty merciless and disrespectful where she's concerned... ;-)

Also, my husband got a vasectomy for her benefit (before they were Mormon), which has made my dream of being a mom very difficult. Meanwhile, she's had two more kids from victim #3. Now that I'm older, I realize it's probably a blessing that he got snipped. Had he not, she would have had at least one more with him. And... now that I'm 39, I think I'm getting too old for kids anyway! I'm focusing on having a good time instead. She gave me a gift and I should be thankful for that every day, but I still think she's shitty.

39's not old! I was 37 when I had my little Sweet Pea. The wife of a co-worker was 43 when she had her second child.

Well... who knows. Maybe there will be a miracle and I'll get knocked up. He did get the vasectomy reversed (thanks US Army). All I need is one sperm with a sense of direction.

Ive never 'made love' to a virgin either, and I've had some of the same questions you did.

Mormonism has Silly Rules to strengthen & enforce Tunnel Vision of the members. That's it.

We were both virgins, just barely 21 years old.

Did you both enjoy it? I didn't, he did.

Did you know what you were doing? For the most part

Was there foreplay? Hardly!

Did you both Organsm? He did... after about 15 seconds.. teehee

Did things "fit" properly? They do, but I found that I was very nervous and "tense" which made things quite painful... after about a month I found that I would have to deliberately "relax" and it was much better.

Did you feel guilty or or did you try to refrain from certain "sinful" acts or thoughts? Not at all!!!! But, I should add we were both "technically virgins" but had done quite a bit of "everything else" before our virginal temple wedding!

Did the church somehow effect your lovemaking in some way? NO! Thank goodness!

Was it what you expected? Better, worse? Worse. It was quite painful for me, and 8 years later I've still never had an "O" through intercourse alone.

Were you or your spouse just completely clueless as to what do or did it just come naturally? No problems there, in fact, I will even admit my still tbm spouse is quite a bit more "adventurous" than I am.

Did you do anything cheesy like say a prayer beforehand? NO WAY!

Was there anything surprising that happened? When I got up afterwards, there was blood running down my legs. I was really embarrassed about that. On our honeymoon there was blood left in that bed every day, and I felt so embarrassed for whoever had to come change our sheets... I hoped we would never come face to face with the housekeeping ladies!!!!

anonymous_girl Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
>
> Was there anything surprising that happened? When
> I got up afterwards, there was blood running down
> my legs. I was really embarrassed about that. On
> our honeymoon there was blood left in that bed
> every day, and I felt so embarrassed for whoever
> had to come change our sheets... I hoped we would
> never come face to face with the housekeeping
> ladies!!!!

This is another reason why I didn't want to have sex on our wedding night, besides the fact that I got my period. I worried that I would make a mess. It turned out not to be a problem. Years of bike and horseback riding must have taken care of that little detail.

That's something I never experienced...It must be terribly frightening for a woman who has no idea what just happened or why she is bleeding.

but--he was not a virgin and I was (for those who aren't aware, he is gay).

This is the thing that BLOWS MY MIND. Sex for me the first time was WONDERFUL. He knew a lot about sex--whether it was with men before or not.

I am always shocked when women tell me they didn't enjoy it or it hurt.

Somehow we managed to have a pretty good sex life all the years we were together (except the first few months after having twins and fear of having ANOTHER SET too soon).

I've never had sex with a virgin either . . . but then I'm the female.

It isn't just Mormons who have trouble the first time. I remember reading Christopher Lawford's account of his first time. He is an actor, son of Peter Lawford and nephew of JFK. He was very young and had only a vague idea of female anatomy. H thought the vagina was in front under the pubic hair. Consequesntly, he had a major problem the first time. LOL



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/24/2011 04:30PM by bona dea.

I was a virgin, she was not. She had three children and was a divorcee. We went out together on and off for five or six years.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 07/24/2011 05:00PM by matt.

I remember my first time.... once in the air, once in the hair, then I got down to business.

Both of us were virgins

It was very disappointing for me and stayed that way the whole marriage.

We somehow managed to have 4 kids.

He came out as a gay man in year 22 of our marriage.

Same story here. Only mine is straight.

I was a virgin, he might as well have been. We were married several years, had children but I never had an orgasm during the marriage...he thought everything was "dirty". Thanks, mormon church.

No, he isn't gay...his second wife was quite experienced and taught him a few things I guess.

The first time I received oral sex, I though I had died and gone to heaven. I found that a distasteful chore became a wonderful gift with a partner who was experienced and thoughtful.

straight from the temple to the hotel--he wanted to "unwrap his present and see what he had bought himself"
(yeah and it went downhill from there)

He was raised non, had lived with girlfriends in college etc
I was a virgin whose parents left it to my husband to teach me....

but I'd read a lot and had some ideas of what's what...

he undressed, showed me his lil thang and said, Quite Seriously, "This is Me...don't be afraid."
I gave a suitably submissive nod, thinking "that is not You, you idiot, it's just your penis and it's the last thing in the world anyone would be afraid of."
(someone must have told him new brides are afraid of penises)

It hurt briefly, then came the "I wish he'd hurry and get this over with" part.
Then he slept, snoring loudly while I sat in the bathroom trying to get the bleeding to stop and crying because I knew I wasn't gonna like being married to the guy everyone wanted me to marry, and because now that I wasn't a virgin anymore I knew no decent man would want me.

The bleeding was just the first time, it hurt the first 2 or 3 times, but we never did get past the "I wish he'd hurry and get this over with" part. This might be in part because he was twice my weight. It's hard to feel sexy while smothering.

Post-divorce post morg I found out sex can be fun.

I'm a nevermo and had sex for the first time when I was 17 with my boyfriend (also nevermo) who was also a virgin. We were both very much into real honest sex education and open communication. His mom was a sex educator and I had received very good sex ed at school. Once his Mom was satisfied that we both had birth control and promised to use it, she gave her blessing for us to 'shag our hearts out' in his bedroom... which we did!


Did you both enjoy it?
- yes

Did you know what you were doing?
- yes, in theory

Was there foreplay?
- yes, lots

Did you both Organsm?
- yes

Did things "fit" properly?
- well it hurt a wee bit but not that bad really. We had done a lot of finger-play in the weeks/months prior to intercourse.

Did you feel guilty or or did you try to refrain from certain "sinful" acts or thoughts?
- nope, not at all

Did the church somehow effect your lovemaking in some way?
- nope, both nevermos, both atheists

Was it what you expected? Better, worse?
- I thought it would hurt more and I thought I would feel like a different person afterwards - like a real adult. But I didn't... and at 43, I still don't! ;-)

Were you or your spouse just completely clueless as to what do or did it just come naturally?
- we had exploded each other a lot already but the time we had sex... weeks/months of kissing, touching, naked exploring, mutual masturbation, etc... It was not: nothing, nothing, nothing then BAM, intercourse! It was a gradual exploration over months. It was really lovely, now that I think about it.

Did you do anything cheesy like say a prayer beforehand?
- no though we did light candles for that nice lighting effect

Was there anything surprising that happened?
- we didn't notice until after that his cat had watched the whole thing, hehehe.

*giggle* When my husband and I had been married about a year, we had a beagle named Flea who was kinda overloaded with testosterone. He used to watch us with total fascination. By contrast, our other beagle, MacGregor, was totally traumatized and would leave the room when we had sex.

Your boyfriend's mom sounds refreshingly liberal.

Pets either watch or run away during human copulation.


I've heard that eating yoghurt is good for fertility. Could be an old wives tale. :)

"Your boyfriend's mom sounds refreshingly liberal."

Oh she was. She was lovely.

She had been a nun (Roman Catholic/French Canadian) and then discovered feminism in the 60's... and did a 180. She would likely call herself an ex-catholic.

I miss her more than I miss the boyfriend. ;-)

My husband's mom is awesome like that. I can be very frank with her and she doesn't get embarrassed or anything. I can talk to her about things that I could never talk about with my mom. Not surprisingly, my husband's ex wife hates my husband's mother with a passion. Go figure! I could not have asked for a cooler MIL. Aren't liberated women great?

Mrs Truthseeker was too tired after the reception. We had our first sex the next afternoon after we returned to our student apartment (no honeymoon b/c she was in grad school and too busy). She complained that sex was too painful so she agreed to sex only sparingly that first year. After the birth of our first child, sex was no longer painful but the frequency did not increased.

10 years in and I'm no longer that interested.

I was not a virgin when I was sealed to my TBM dh in the temple. So I believe he had a great honeymoon experience.

On the other hand, my best friend, who was a virgin when she married, told me it was the most painful, horrifying experience of her life. Her honeymoon was awful and she endured the pain only to please her new husband.

Over the years as a young buck,,had sex with several virgins. Some were very emotional and had a crying jag. Some just wanted to get it over with and get on with life. Some good,,some bad. The lady I finally married wasn't a virgin In fact she taught me some new things. Loved it. Even though we divorced,,sex was never a problem.

Stake president counseled us to not do oral sex in her temple recommend interview before we were married. This was 15 years ago. I can count on two hands the number of times we've done oral. She's always said it is "icky" and when we've done it she hasn't relaxed enough to enjoy it.

Did you both enjoy it?
-- He did.

Did you know what you were doing?
-- Neither of us had a clue.

Was there foreplay?
-- Yes.

Did you both Orgasm?
-- He did.

Did things "fit" properly?
-- Yes.

Did you feel guilty or or did you try to refrain from certain "sinful" acts or thoughts?
-- No guilt, but lots of fear (on my part) and hesitancy (his part). There were no 'sinful' acts of any kind - it was missionary position and strictly mouth-to-mouth kissing.

Did the church somehow effect your lovemaking in some way?
-- Totally. I was clueless, repressed, and scared to death. The church ensured that I would have a miserable honeymoon.

Was it what you expected? Better, worse?
-- Worse. I never orgasmed, so I couldn't see what all the fuss was about. He was inexperienced and clueless, so it was painful too. Then he fell sleep immediately (turns out he can't sleep while touching, so he rolled away from me to the other side of the bed) and I lay there and cried thinking, "Is this it?"

Were you or your spouse just completely clueless as to what do or did it just come naturally?
-- Clueless.

Did you do anything cheesy like say a prayer beforehand?
-- No.

Was there anything surprising that happened?
-- I was absolutely starving afterwards. I have never been so hungry in my life. Maybe it stimulates the same area of the brain that a certain weed does, I dunno, but seriously I could have eaten a week's worth of food at once.

Spouse and I were both virgins. SHe didn't have many steady boyfriends before me, either. I had messed around some, but never all the way.
Did you both enjoy it? No, neither of us did.

Did you know what you were doing? Nope, not a clue. By the time she put the condom on and lubed it w/ KY, I couldn't feel a thing. She hadn't been taking the pill long enough prior to marriage, so we had to use a condom for two weeks after we got married. It was such a letdown for me, I didn't even bother trying again until we could do it without the condoms.

Was there foreplay? Yes, but apparently not enough of it.

Did you both Organsm? No.

Did things "fit" properly? I couldn't tell, see #2 question above.

Did you feel guilty or or did you try to refrain from certain "sinful" acts or thoughts? No, we were married at the time.
Did the church somehow effect your lovemaking in some way? No.

Was it what you expected? Better, worse? Much worse than my expectations. A complete letdown.

Were you or your spouse just completely clueless as to what do or did it just come naturally? We were totally clueless.

Did you do anything cheesy like say a prayer beforehand? HELL NO!

Was there anything surprising that happened? Two weeks later, we finally tried again without a condom because she'd been taking the pill long enough, and it was like night and day for both of us. We thoroughly enjoyed it so much, I'm quite certain the neighbors could hear us. Its gotten much better over the years, esp. since we will go down, Elohim.

My wife and I were both virgins - mid 20's, 2007. Here are my answers:


Did you both enjoy it? Yes, because it was new.

Did you know what you were doing? No.

Was there foreplay? No.

Did you both Organsm? No.

Did things "fit" properly? No. (That's because we didn't know about the necessity for proper lubrication first - we figured that out the next day, and have had no problems since)

Did you feel guilty or did you try to refrain from certain "sinful" acts or thoughts? No guilt. Felt good that we could finally indulge in what we had both been wanting for a while.

Did the church somehow effect your lovemaking in some way? No.

Was it what you expected? Better, worse? Worse. But we got much better during that first week of our honeymoon - even the next day.

Were you or your spouse just completely clueless as to what do or did it just come naturally? Clueless. But we had fun figuring it out together.

Did you do anything cheesy like say a prayer beforehand? No.

Was there anything surprising that happened? It was all very new. I had to learn how to get her to enjoy it, particularly by holding back so I wouldn't finish and lose my stamina. It was a very educational and successful honeymoon.