Posted by:
hello
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)
Date: June 26, 2014 05:38PM
Yes, I understand what you are saying, and agree. Altho in my DW's case, this psychological complex is very personal, and part of her unique approach to life. But yes, until she is willing to commit fully to practice in the real world the covenants she has made in the temple, for her the Mormon life is very much a form of play-acting, one that cannot be separated from self-will.
The further irony of course, is that I have sincerely attempted to be among the most laissez-faire of husbands. I never thought I should be the sole decider, regardless of the teachings of the temple. I tried to foster a mutual equality as spouses and parents in the family. I have been generally ok with whatever she wanted to do, and only very rarely asked her to follow my lead on anything. And as a matter of habit and principle, and because I recognize her need to be involved, I have sought to partner with her, to receive her advice and counsel, and have joined with her in any decision-making process for the good of the family. We're not perfect, and we have had to learn from consequence when we made poor decisions, but we have partnered. And we have generally avoided power games and resentments.
But as events unfolded, in time she became unwilling to partner with me in any way, and insisted on being the sole decider, regardless of her covenants or the often poor results of her choices. I believe this pattern arises in her personality, and not from any social changes regarding the role of women in the wider culture. I have come to understand that this is who she is, since a young girl. And that's fine. But it just doesn't fit with her faith professions regarding the Mormon priesthood and temple covenants. Thus the cog dis.
Now, I don't even try any more. The kids are grown, our finances are separate (altho I am the main payer in the household), her freedom of choice and action as a sovereign individual is absolute, and my garments are off. I have withdrawn from the false game of Mormon priesthood, and from all illusion of partnership. For myself, there are no covenants. If Eve is confused, that's not Adam's problem any more.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/26/2014 08:36PM by hello.